Dear everyone,

You know those predictions we made?

Nevermind.

Love,

TiFaux

Like Heidi Klum’s ever-swelling belly, the gestation period for Project Runway is coming to a close. At 11:00, eastern standard time, we’ll all have a bouncing baby fashionista with bragging rights and a hundred thousand smackeroos.

Your bee-eff-effs at TiFaux have made the call about the results. Tune into Bravo tonight (like you had other plans) to see who was right.

Cristin says:

Santino

I spent awhile trying to come up with some jazzy title for my prediction that would hopefully involve a witty rhyme, but my options (torpedo, toledo, Jackson 5 sans-Tito) were somewhat bland and colorless… unlike my predicted winner, Santino.

Yes, he is an enormous jackass and obviously got picked on a lot in middle school for that whole lanky lazy eyed scarecrow look he has going on, but he’s level of talent is just regoddamndiculous. His big problems over the course of the season were (a) not taking into account who he was designing for (b) over-detailing pieces and (c) leaving pieces incomplete. And with 6 months to nail down a line and no specific client to design around, he has more than enough time and means to just beat the crap out of this.

Furthermore, the last three episodes or so have invited us to Come See A Softer Side of Santino, which I think suggests that Bravo is trying to avoid a potential riot in the wake of his win. I’ve never been more in love with a gay man than I am with Daniel V — and that is saying something — but I’m going to follow the reality TV rules of editing here and say that anyone who shows a vague hint of confidence goes home (see also: reasons why Julie on The Gauntlet II shouldn’t proclaim the veterans to be “on a winning streak.” Sorry, la-hooo-ser).

As soon as Daniel questioned why Tim wasn’t “piddling in his panties” over his line, I started feeling unsettled, the same way I did when Uncle Nick said he felt relatively safe at the beginning of the episode that would later deal him a swift auf wiedersehen. Unless Bravo is gearing up for an upset of Best Picture proportions, it’s Santino.

Dan says:

Daniel V.

I really just have no idea. No idea at all. Well, except for the fact that the winner won’t be Chloe. But if I haaaad to make a pick, I’m thinking it’s going to be Daniel V.

Santino may be the more interesting designer (meaning you’re more likely to see some sort of crazy, fucked-up feather explosion that is at least fun to look at), but Daniel V. has been consistently the best. He’s got a balance between wearability and artsy-fartsyness that I think will be the key to his success. Or maybe I’m just delusional and a sucker for a happy ending.

From a TV production standpoint, it’s really tough to make a call considering they’ve been making it seem like Santino’s going to win. It’s a study in jinxology, you see. They make it seem like Santino’s going to win, so you start to suspect it might be Daniel. But then you think that they know you would suspect that, so they’re going to blow your mind by actually hinting at the truth (a Santino victory). It’s like that scene in The Princess Bride where the bald guy tries to match wits with Wesley, only a lot gayer.

Maggie says:

Santino

It pains me to say it, but I think our man Santino is going to be driving home in the 2007 Saturn SkyRoadster.

Despite the fact that many of his designs were falling apart at the seams (way to blame Kara for that one, dick), were hideously ugly (leiderhosen underwear, anyone? how about a skintight jumpsuit? what, no takers?), and tended to have more braids, feathers, and spangles than an explosion at the Pretty Pretty Princess factory, he does have a unique and interesting look.

And despite the fact that he’s a total asshole, I am starting to prefer him to Daniel and Chloe for pure entertainment value. What’s not to love about a man who can do a spot-on Tim Gunn? In an argument with Andrae? At the Red Lobster?

Speaking of The Excellent Tim Gunn, he seemed to favor Santino’s collection, and Tim Gunn is never, ever wrong. I don’t care if you want to jump Daniel’s bones (I know you do) or Chloe seems like she’d be fun to get drunk with, Tim Gunn has spoken.