When I take my post-work runs on the treadmill, there are four TVs in the front of the room. Today, for some reason, two were turned to CNN, so I get to see Lou Dobbs talk about how much he hates those damned Mexicans. One was sports (or something) and then the other one was turned to ABC Family, where we got to see a rerun of 7th Heaven.

I went through a phase about two years ago where my then-roommate and I got trashed and watched the show every Monday (we also got liquored up for that year’s State of the Union address, but that was more of a way of coping). Like any novelty television show, we found that it was very conducive to drinking games.

Here are some preliminary rules for the Official TiFaux 7th Heaven Drinking Game. Feel free to add rules to suit your fancy.

DRINK whenever you feel you’re being judged. Either through the characters’ comments on other peoples’ lifestyles or just through the show’s overall purity.

DRINK whenever the twins speak in unison

DRINK whenever the dog barks at somebody as if he’s commenting on the situation at hand

DRINK when someone gives advice

DRINK whenever there’s a heart-to-heart

DRINK whenever someone decides they need to talk to Rev. Camden.

1) Michael Cera, George Michael of the late Arrested Development, is really hilarious, and was the high point of last night’s Veronica Mars.

2) In the abstract (without pointing to specific examples), Veronica Mars is my favorite show on television.

3) Last night’s episode was so fulfilling and coherent! Best ever!

And the lie is… Number Three. But before I tell you why, here’s child prodigy Michael Cera. Comedy genius!

By the way, last night my cable was still out, and in order to watch Veronica Mars, the intrepid Kyle constructed an antenna out of a hanger and some tin foil two minutes before the show started. It totally worked. It was amazing.

Okay, so… I don’t really want to talk about last night’s episode. Let’s just say that it felt like the first episode of the third season, Veronica Goes to College, not a real part of this one. We met a whole bunch of awesome new characters who we’ll probably never see again, and Veronica failed to solve the case, setting us up for what seems like a decent long-running mystery, except that she hasn’t even convinced herself she even wants to go to this college, so why should she (or we) care?

Also, Logan, I am very disappointed in you. Apologizing to Hannah? Just BE evil, already! I promise everyone will still love you.

And now let’s just put this all behind us and hope for better things to come. Dean and Troy, series regulars?