Since this is a blog we have to sometimes talk about ourselves. It’s in the Bloggers Handbook. Look it up. I know you have one too.

Since we’re celebrating three months online, I thought I’d post some interesting stats. First, as I mentioned in my last post, nobody comes here on the weekend. Is it because we never post on the weekend? Or is it because you only come here when you’re bored at work? This weekend I’ll be testing that theory with more posts than I usually do in a month.

This is what our readership was like in April. I’ve removed the numbers so you don’t know how many (or few) people visit the site. That’s classified. The first few days are empty because we hadn’t started using Google Analytics yet. If you’re not using it, you should. It’s way prettier than your stats program.

And you get great graphics like this. This is our readership plotted on a map of the world. That giant circle you see over NYC is by far the largest group, which doesn’t surpsise me because 3 out of 4 TiFaux contributors agree: NYC is where we like to live. But what I’m wondering about is that big empty area in the midwest. Where are our midwestern readers? Don’t they watch TV too? And what about the former USSR? Not a single visitor! China too! I should really buckle down and finish up that post about “Super Girl Voice.”

Salon has posted an ABC feed from last weekend's White House Correspondent's dinner that made me extremely uncomfortable. It starts with Colbert introducing his sketch about being Press Secretary and then pans over to Bush where it stays for the ENTIRE 7 MINUTES. I've never really enjoyed looking at our president. He has weird beady eyes and when I see him I'm reminded that I don't like him. So why did I watch the whole uncomfortable thing? For you, dear readers. So you don't have to. He laughs maybe 3 times and clearly doesn't appreciate Helen Thomas's questions about our reasons for going to Iraq. I wonder if he knew the camera was on him. At the very least he has to assume that people in the hall are watching for his reaction so they can figure out if it's OK to laugh. And they definitely didn't laugh either. Colbert showed the skit on his own show this week and it got a much better reception without Mr. W glaring at everyone. Of course it didn't hurt that it was the home team crowd who appreciates Mr. Colbert's dense brand of irony.

Thanks for tuning in to this special Weekend Edition of TiFaux. Since our ratings tend to asymptotically approach zero on Saturday and Sunday I assume you've recorded it and are reading this on Monday. So happy Monday. Don't let your boss catch you.