Here's the press release for NBC's 2006-2007 primetime schedule.

Of note: Naturally, the one that everyone's so goddamn excited about, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Aaron Sorkin's new show, Thursdays at 9. But also, Tina Fey's new show (which is the exact same premise, only a sitcom, not a drama), 30 Rock, Wednesdays at 9:30. The return of The Office! Thursdays at 8:30! And I like the sound of Heroes, about people with superpowers, Mondays at 9. But it could be stupid. Who knows! That's the fun of the upfronts, people! 

I like that Kyle Chandler has a new show, but that's only because I've met him. There's no way I'm watching some football drama. 

I guess Kidnapped could be good. 

Last year I really knew I had turned a corner in my television watching/obsessing when I learned about the upfronts, that wonderful week when the networks present their fall seasons to advertisers. And now I am imparting this fabulous knowledge to you, so you can join me in the unhealthy brooding. They're happening this week. Here's the schedule:

Monday: NBC (Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Tina Fey's show)

Tuesday: ABC

Wednesday: CBS

Thursday: CW (Veronica Mars?), Fox

I can read your mind. You're asking yourself, why do I care? And also, why does Maggie care? Well besides the obvious — dear God, will Veronica Mars be back? — I find this whole ritual delightful. The networks present clips of their shows, and are generally enthusiastic and verging on giddy. They sometimes do fun things like have Amy Poehler and Tina Fey present the shows "Weekend Update"-style. It reminds me of the day that cast lists for plays are posted. Which is always fun, or was in high school. If I could take a week of vacation and just go hang out at Radio City Music Hall to see this stuff in person, I absolutely would. And that's my confession of the day.

Update: So you're intrigued? You want to read more? I understand.

A TV Upfront Checklist

NYT's NBC speculation

Where Do All the Pilots Go?

I don't know how (perhaps because the baby jesus stopped loving me after I ditched church for all of lent, or because I read PostSecret in order to feel better about my own life) but the story of Keifer Sutherland attacking a christmas tree earlier this year somehow escaped me. "That can't be," I thought when it was brought to my attention. "Of, if it is true, then it's only because the christmas tree was withholding information about the location of the nerve gas that was threatening the greater LA area."

But, as we learned in the Lifetime original movie "She Cried No" where Zack Morris rapes DJ Tanner at a frat party and then tells everyone that she wanted it only to have a photo of him carrying her drunk body upstairs surface, condemning him 8-10 of license plate stamping and limited access to hair gel: Pictures don't lie. Neither do videos.

The president — the "real" one, not Martin Sheen — is going to be giving some sort of speech tonight at 8 (whop-de-do, and don't worry, this is not what this post is about). So be vigilant, people. If you're like me, and you're anxiously awaiting 24 or How I Met Your Mother or the last two hours of the Grey's Anatomy finale (don't tell me what happened yesterday, I got home post-midnight after traveling all day), be aware that they will probably be pushed back 20 minutes or so, and your TiFaux is probably going to mess up recording them somehow. It'll start late or end early or in some way ruin your whole night. I checked this morning, and it looks like Fox has scheduled 24 to start at 9:20, but you know that someone will speak slow or fast or start late or whatever. Hooray!