Lately, Ameriprise, a financial services company, has been running a series of irritating commercials aimed squarely at the baby boomer demographic.

The spots feature grainy, 60s- and 70s-era home video footage (fake?) of young people being young.  They dance in decade-specific garb, sport ridiculous hairstyles and ride motorcyles (because that's what you did back then).  Halfway through the longest commercial, entitled "Back Then," it switches to the present day, with average-to-good-looking fiftysomethings kayaking, swinging at baseballs, rollerskating with teenagers and going on safaris (because that's what they do now).  All the while, a narrator says "a generation as unique as this needs a new generation of personal financial planning."

While this commercial is indeed ass-kissy and vexing in its own right, the worst commercial is the one entitled "Meaningful Relationship," which features similar stock footage, this time of nuzzling lovebirds with narration saying that "you're a generation that gave new meaning to the meaningful relationship." 

Blah, blah, blah, buy something from Ameriprise.

It's all really condescending and irksome, and I'm not even the one being talked down to. 

In thirty years, I'm looking forward to seeing similar pieces of nostalgia: in the eighties you see kids watching The Smurfs while wearing pajamas with feet; in the nineties you've got greasy-haired, flannel-wearing teens trying to form guitar chords; in the 2000s you have people amazed at the novelty of the blogosphere; and in the 2010s you have thirtysomethings revelling in the newfound economic stability of the first term of the Obama/Affleck administration.

On the one hand, Robert Rey, black belt, star of the E! Channel's "Doctor 90210" and all-around cheeseball, brought his own brand of justice to a recent plane ride to LAX.  Apparently, when the plane was getting ready to land, some old dude freaked out and got out of his seat, shoving a flight attendant.  As he strutted into first class, Rey sprung into action.

"When you get a black belt, at that stage your brain just clicks into action," he said. "I restrained this gentleman in a very aggressive way without hurting him."

Robert Rey, TiFaux salutes you.

On a side note, my favorite part of the above article is this last paragraph: 

Rey also appears as himself on a Carl's Jr. commercial in which he advises a chicken to undergo breast augmentation surgery.

On the other hand, that Michelle Rodriguez just can't seem to keep her nose clean.

The continuing fallout from her drunk driving arrest involves an LA judge ordering her to serve 60 days in jail and 30 days worth of community service.

Now we all know Europe has been on the forefront of reality TV programming, usually inventing our favorite shows first and doing it with more boobs. But did you know that Europe has had an American-Idol style song contest going on for over 50 years? The latest one happened over the weekend and despite living right in the middle of Europe I had no idea. Of course, I stopped trying to watch German TV after the first week, so I guess that's not surprising. Leave it to Slate to let me know what I missed. Finnish "rockers" Lordi took home the top prize in a performance that must be seen to be believed.

Obviously the "best" performers never win phone-based voting contests, but I'm pretty sure lyrics like "Arockalypse" or "Day of Rockening" should be grounds for disqualification.

Also, that song you think this sounds exactly like is "Eye of the Tiger."

While Carmella is in Paris, Tony got a blow job in the car from one of the strippers at Bada Bing. 

At first, all you see is Tony driving, immediately pre-climax.  His eyes are rolling back in his head, his jaw is slack and he's moaning slightly.  As I watched, I knew exactly what was going on (seeing as how he was making eyes with the stripper in a previous scene).

In the grand Miller tradition of watching inappropriate shows together, my mom  is sitting on the couch near me.

She says, "What's going on, is he having a heart attack?"

And I stammer, "I think he's…  he might be getting…  satisfaction."

Then, the stipper's head comes into frame as she dabs her mouth with a hankey.

"Oh," said Mom. 

In terms of fun graphic violence worth sharing, there were two last night.  Only two, but they were doozies indeed.

First comes the long-awaited whacking of Vito.  Having alienated Johnnycakes, estranged himself from his family and put himself on the outs (to say the least) with the family, Vito's life is looking pretty grim as he returns to his hotel room.  Not that he really has to worry about it for that much longer.

Phil: not a member of PFLAG.

Phil shows up with two goons, and they proceed to gag him, beat him to death and shove a pool cue you know where — all for bringing disgrace to the family name for being a fanook.

Vito getting whacked is a lot like when Sil killed Adrianna last season.  You spent the entire season waiting for it to happen.  She was ratting to the cops and you just knew it couldn't end well.  And it didn't.

Next was the multiple stabbing death of one of Phil's men for mouthing off about Vito.  A very minor character, but there were some pretty brutal stab wounds in the pot belly.

This past Saturday was probably (unconfirmed) Tina Fey's last Saturday Night Live, after 9 years working on the show.

Next year she's going to be writing and starring in the undoubtably awesome 30 Rock, which leaves little time for anchoring Weekend Update and head writer-ing and playing with her cute baby.

I know it's not cool to admire SNL. It has the singular ability to appear as if were in a state of constant decline. But I still watch. It's the only show of its kind, and even when it fails (as it often does), there's usually something to enjoy or at least to learn.

And I wholeheartedly love Tina Fey. She's smart and wry and introduced the word "cooter" into my vocabulary. She made the non-fiction book Queen Bees and Wannabees into the incomparable Mean Girls. She kicks ass and dominates in the comedy world, which is traditionally a huge sausagefest. And she's hilarious. 

So it's sad for SNL if it's true (unconfirmed), but not too sad for the rest of the world, because there's 30 Rock. And maybe her leaving (and I assume Rachel Dratch is leaving too — she's also in 30 Rock, and also great) will shake things up. It'll be interesting, worth watching, and yet another excuse for everyone to complain that the show is not as good as it once was.

And after the jump, a poll. Because I love polls almost as much as I love Tina Fey.

So, Will and Grace ended last night.  I mean, I didn't watch it or anything.  (I was at the Laura Veirs show.)

I don't think anyone has really watched it for the past couple of seasons, despite the fact that it really is/was one of the best sitcoms on TV.  Ever since Harry Connick Jr. joined the cast, things started falling apart and getting stale.  From what I could glean from the few-and-far-between episodes I caught, the writers tried to cope by throwing in some absurd plot twists (doesn't work, see Roseanne season eight) and a ridiculous amount of guest stars.

But, for its eight years on the air, W&G has really made some big strides for "the cause."  Now, the idea of a gay leading character on TV isn't really that revolutionary and the success of the show will depend on its quality or, at least, marketability.  In any case, we know that it can be done.

I was kind of reminded of how much gay visibility has risen on TV when I was watching BRAVO (the gayest network since Lifetime) and they showed a commercial for the new season of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.  At this point, Queer Eye couldn't be less socially relevant.  Aside from the fact that no one watches it anymore, the idea that 5 somewhat neutered and (arguably) agenda-free 'mos could give Joe Blow (heh) a makeover is decidedly shrug-worthy.

In fact, right now some of the most visible TV gays are pretty damned cuddly.  Ellen's show doesn't get political (not that she hasn't blazed the trail to where we are today), the Queer Eye guys are all still group-huggy, and even the gayest American Idol contestants gloss over their sexuality.  This we're-just-like-everyone-else likeability serves a purpose of making the less-advanced portions of America a little more comfortable and is, undoubtedly, part of the gay agenda.  

While it's nice that the community has managed to have a plateau of acceptance on TV, I'm anxious to see people start rocking the boat a little bit.  TV's a little like the Democratic Party, tacitly in cahoots with the gays but afraid to alienate the public.

There's a long way to go, so I want to start seeing people being made a little uncomfortable.

Two rays of hope:

– Rosie O'Donnell is set to train-wreck on The View.  Before, she was the asexual Queen of Nice.  Then Isaac Mizrahi grabbed his shears and she became the potty-mouthed scary lesbian from hell.  I think she's calmed down a bit, but she's still going to rule that show with an iron fist.

– Alexis Arquette on The Surreal Life.  Admittedly, there's not a whole lot of social progress that can be made on a show as sleazy as this, but I love the fact that Alexis is trash-talking, complicated and smart transgender on basic cable.  I mean, she's a nut, but she's funny and brave.

To put all this in perspective, I recommend taking a look at GLAAD's Where We Are on TV for 2005-2006.  Most of the lead characters are on shows that are a) cancelled b) on cable.  There's really a lot less representation than you might think.  As GLAAD points out, it's less than 2 percent of all regular roles.

Sorry to get all political, but it was just something I was thinking about . 

I stopped watching The O.C. months ago– public schools? formerly imaginary little sisters? college applications? I'll pass.

But I wish I had watched last night, just because I could have used the fulfillment of a healthy wish I made years ago: That you'd shuffle off this mortal coil and leave the orange county to people who aren't terrifying bobbleheads without souls.

In case you missed it: episode downloads from an OC website with a .org address (I'm as confused as you are), moderated by a freshly minted 21 year old. Oh yes.

How about Buffy?

Who's the sexiest TV doc?

In our ongoing effort to make TiFaux as cool as possible we've added polls to our ever-expanding list of things that happen here.