Apparently, the clock is ticking for Lost.

Digitalspy reports that Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof wants to end the series after "five seasons, tops."  After that?  A movie.

I actually really like the idea of ending Lost early, as I think the show has the potential to suck royally if they try to make it into a sprawling, decade-long series. I've had the sinking feeling all along that the writers are just making it up as they go along, and having the series end in a lame deus ex machina would be entirely disappointing.

As for the movie?  Sure, I'd see it.  But does that mean they don't get rescued/killed/whatever in the end? 

Recap:

Is it wrong to bang a cancer patient?  Wouldn't it kind of cheer her up?  Maybe a little?

These are undoubtedly some of the questions that are dancing through Derrick's head in the opening of Episode 6.  And it's all understandable, of course, given that as far as we can tell Diem is blonde, beautiful and has a heart of pure gold.  While it might be questionable whether the viewing public would want her sullied by Derrick, the notoriously sweaty alcoholic, for some reason the oddball romance is endearing.

Meanwhile, all eyes are on Evan's crotch as he reveals that he has suffered a hernia.  He really shouldn't be doing anything but lying down and icing himself, much less doing all the climbing/running/bunging/oatmeal dumping required by the challenges.  Will he stick it out til the end?  Time will tell.

This week's challenge, Crossing Paths, is one of the most physically demanding we've seen yet.  Basically, there are two platforms connected by a rope.  Below, there is a (presumably very deep) river.  The players need to crawl across the rope and swap platforms, but must cross paths halfway.  This proves to be a pain in the ass.

Highlights from the competition include: Johnny proving himself as awesome by completing the entire length of rope using only his hands and upper body strength and Wes being an ass (shock!) by doing pull-ups before he reaches the end where he unleashes more verbal abuse on Casey.  Half of the teams get DQed when someone falls, and Theo/Chanda beat Coral/Evan, meaning that the perennial winners get their first trip to deliberations where they are (in theory) vulnerable to exile.

Theo and Chanda make the obvious choice and send Wes/Casey into exile, thereby not pissing anyone off.  At deliberations, although a few people throw some votes toward Tina/Kenny (who, curiously, don't seem to be as weak a team as Katie/Eric) it ends up being Tonya/Johnny being sent into exile.   She is not pleased.

The episode ends with a barnburner of a fight between alleged BFFs Tonya and Derrick, with Tonya stating (correctly) that she's pissed with everyone voting for her when there were much more deserving teams.  Derrick gets all defensive, but everyone knows he's wrong.  Including him, probably.

Cristin's Two Cents:

Could there be anyone I love more than Diem? When she got through the challenge by saying that she was going to pretend there were alligators in the water, my heart totally sang. Besides, no one is ever going to be able to vote someone currently undergoing chemotherapy into exile, let alone someone who's as effing awesome as this girl. I really hope she doesn't hit it with Derrik. She's totally Theo-worthy. I also like how Evan described is injury as "an athletic hernia." Yes Evan, we're sure everything you do is athletic. You get Runners Hangnail and Athletes Foot and Sporty Headaches and Jock Itch. You're great. You can do it all. You're Bo Jackson, we get it. Now shut up.

Dan's Two Cents:

I kind of feel bad for Tonya.  I mean, just because a girl's mentally ill doesn't mean she can't be a good competitor.   I'm curious to see how one of the veteran challenge competitor teams does in exile.  I have a feeling Tonya's way stronger than Casey, so Wes/Casey's lucky streak may be coming to an end.

Wes' assy remarks are almost beginning to parody themselves.  That is, they'd be funny because of how exaggerated and persistent they are, but he's still such a douche that it's impossible to extract any joy out of them.  This recent spell of boasting caused my roommate (a pacifist and usually not a Fresh Meat viewer to say "I just want to grab his head and shake it.")

The Scoreboard:

Teams:
Cristin's Blue Iguanas: Katie/Eric; Johanna/Jesse; Tonya/Johnnie; Theo/Chanda; Shane/Linette
Dan's Green Monkeys: Coral/Evan; Melinda/Ryan; Tina/Kenny; Darrell/Aviv; Derrick/Diem

Dan's old total: 26

Dan's new total: 31

Before we get to the maudlin self-reflection, important news for this week:

WEDNESDAY: Rock Star returns. This show takes the format of American Idol, adds Dave Navarro and a bunch of self-important poser "rock stars" (most of whom starred in regional touring companies of Rent), sprinkles in a fair heaping of Queen covers, and is hilarious and genuinely entertaining. 

THURSDAY: Emmy nominations come out. There's a new voting system in place that seems like it might favor underdogs, which means I am crossing my fingers for Lauren Graham, who seems to have a chance finally, and Kristen Bell, who doesn't really have a chance even with the new rules but is just so cute you can't help rooting for her.

FRIDAY: Turn to USA for a new episoded of Monk (Stanley Tucci guest stars, and who doesn't love Stanley Tucci, especially after The Devil Wears Prada) and the premiere of Psych, which looks promising. 

So. Con-artistry and internal monologues, after the jump.