Project Runway, episode 3: Arf with her head

Posted by Cristin July 27th, 2006 at 10:16am In Project Runway

Last night, the Project Runwayites were told that they would be designing an outfit "inspired by one of America's favorite fashion accessories." I, of course, immediately think they're talking about boobs– speculation runs through the contestants as well, one of whom decides that they must be talking about horses (?) and shows up at the central park ho-down wearing jodphurs. Not mentioning any names… Laura.

Instead, Tim Gunn crests the hill lead by a pack of dogs, none of which tip the scales at any more than 7 pounds. Here's where my heart starts beating dramatically and I begin praying that one of my tifaux-assigned designers will get kicked off so I can write today's recap because it INVOLVES TINY PUPPIES THAT ARE SO EFFING CUTE.

Tim instructs each designer to pick a dog that will act as their muse. Jeffrey quickly points out that everyone basically chose a dog-version of themselves, which is fun, considering he picked a stumpy corgi.

 Jeffrey, minus the neck tattoos.

The challenge issued is to create a story around the dog involving what kind of woman would own the dog– what she wears, and how she dresses her dog. I'm going to go ahead and assume that none of the designers actually own dogs (we know this for sure with Laura, who said all of her "emotional energy" was spent on her five boys, leaving no room for puppy love) because they all came up with slight variations on the same woman:

"Send help. And, some donuts." ~Tinkerbell Hilton

The designers went off shopping for their various fake women, described in varying terms from "a fashionista," "a fun party girl," "a park avenue princess who just checked into rehab," and "a british art camp headmistress." (That's Angela on the last one there. I'd talk about what a waste of the gift of human life that woman is, but it just gives me rage). The design montage features Bradley having "time management" issues and pondering whether or not he'll have to send nothing out in front of the judges on the runway show that, blissfully, falls on his birthday, and Vincent making a tiny hat for his dog and then giggling maniacally for about twenty minutes. Bradley pulls his outfit apart and puts it back together several times while Laura, Alison, and The Guy That Looks Like Kanye West all make stunning outfits and Katherine the Hobbit makes a lime sherbet colored… thing. Keith takes a badass Damn The Man attitude and elects to not dress his dog because he doesn't think "his woman" would be the kind of person who dresses her dog. Yeah, that'll go over huge with Heidi.

At the runway show, Bridesmaid Dress Taskmistress Vera Wang is still sitting in for Michael, and as a guest judge… can it be?

 Annie Hall mixed with Regis Philbin, but still hot.

Ivanka Trump! Be still my heart! Oh, and despite being a 2004 college graduate, she's currently a VP of Development. I certainly don't feel unaccomplished at all seeing that.

On the runway, Angela makes a huge, raging ass of her trainwreck Camp Headmistress story, Bradley is complimented and appears visibly relieved (happy birthday! now get a haircut) and Katherine is taken to task for her uninspired and poorly constructed dress. In the end, Uli and her pug take it home, disappointing Alison and securing immunity for next week. It comes down to Katherine and Angela and I cross my fingers for a patented reality tv double-elimination, but schlumpy katherine has to take the long walk of shame back to her hobbit hole.