In days of yore, I remember thinking to myself while watching a Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Battle of the Sexes: "What if they divided up the teams by race instead of gender.  They would never do that — that's kind of messed up."

And then I went on with my day.

Well, leave it to the folks at CBS to make that reverie into a reality.  That's right.  The new season of Survivor, set in the Cook Islands, will be divided into four tribes: Team White, Team Black, Team Asian and Team Latino.

Now, this all seems kind of horrible.  The thing is, I just can't really put my finger on why.  I suppose the past few decades have put such an emphasis on living in a colorblind society that the idea of explicitly segregating people based on race, even in a situation as silly as Survivor, seems abhorrent. 

I can kind of grasp a few solid reasons on why this situation is gross.  Perhaps it's the idea that this contest could be interpreted as an attempt to prove that there is one superior race. Perhaps it's the idea that this will serve as an example to the public about certain stereotypes, that is, how one race can do one thing well and another not (to be crass — Team Asian will ace all the math competitions while Team Black will fail all the swimming competitions).

Here's how Jeff Probst defended the show on The Early Show (from Reality Blurred):

The idea for this actually came from the criticism that Survivor was not ethnically diverse enough, because for whatever reason, we always have a low number of minority applicants apply to the show. So we set out and said, let’s turn this criticism into creative for the show. And I think it fits in perfectly with what Survivor does, which is, it is a social experiment, and this is adding another layer to that experiment which is taking the show to a completely different level. 

He added that the contestants themselves had "mixed" reactions when they learned of the twist. 

Fair enough to all that, I suppose.  In the end, this is just a stunt for ratings and a ploy for controversy.  I don't really think anyone who planned the show is racist.

It's just going to be awkward as all hell. 

Martin Sheen?  Really?  Sure, I guess.  

I guess I'm the only person in DC that never watched The West Wing.  Yesterday's poll is still tight though (another vote and we'll be in double digits!  Exciting!), so let the world know your opinion.

Now — time for best actress in a drama.

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The race is surprisingly tight in the TiFaux poll on Best Actress in a Comedy with Jane Kaczmarek and Lisa Kudrow running neck and neck.  I have to admit, I'm surprised that anyone is supporting Malcolm in the Middle — but I just say that because I've never watched the show, not because I actually dislike it.

Anyway, next up: best actor in a drama.  It's the last chance for two of these guys to win Emmys for their long-running shows.

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Recap: 

Dan writes, apathetically: 

Derrick and Diem are boning.  Well, I have no evidence of this, but it's a safe bet.  The first part of the episode consists of Derrick slobbering over her in a drunken haze, raving about her smile and her body.  Diem's loving it and interviews that she is trying unsuccessfully to ward off the charms of MTV's favorite sweaty, binge-drinking Pole.

Meanwhile, Tina complains to Kenny that she doesn't feel well.  Kenny says he doesn't care.  Tina interviews that Kenny is great and takes care of her on and off the playing field.

The next day, the kids arrive at the Challenge and see that it is a glorified breath-holding contest.  There's some nonsense about a boat and diving and flags, but it basically comes down to lung capacity.  It's the same old song and dance: the participants balk at the prospect of doing the challenge, TJ delivers instructions flatly, trash is talked, and so on.  In the end, it's a one second difference giving Derrick/Diem the victory over Theo/Chanda.

Now, herein lies the predicament.  Allegedly, Derrick has Theo's back.  And Darrell's too.  That would mean, from a loyalty perspective, he should be voting in Tina/Kenny.  Tina/Kenny, however, suck at everything and would be easier to beat in a final competition.

In the end, there is much indecision, and Derrick totally pansies out by literally turning his back on Diem and making her make the decision.  She chooses Theo/Chanda and he feels like crap.

Deliberations take place on the spot, since there are only three teams making a decision.  Darrell/Aviv vote for Tina/Kenny.  Tina/Kenny vote for Darrell/Aviv.  Wes, who is very pleased with himself (he planned it this way all along) opts for Darrell's team.

Cristin's two cents:

LETS GO METS! LETS GO METS!

*********************

Seriously, this show is whack. I saw this one and still have nothing to say about it! Each episode should be an hour long so that someone gets booted every time. Oh, and they should staple Tina's face to a tree. That would make it a lot more fun for me.

Dan's two cents:

You know, I liked Casey a lot better when she was an innocent, stupid doormat.  When did she get this entitled, arrogant attitude.  It really makes me not hate Wes as much for being a bastard to her.   In other news, I've become less and less invested in this show since the one-two punch departure of Coral/Evan and Shane/Linnette.  Is it over yet?

The Scoreboard:

Oh, who gives a fuck. 

Remember a long time ago when I went on a tear about gay people on TV?  Well, GLAAD just put out their annual survey, Where We Are On TV, for the 2006-2007 season and, predictably, not much has changed.

The new survey lists leading gay characters, supporting gay characters and gay recurring characters. Here's the meat of the survey (from glaad.org):

• Out of a total 679 series regular lead or supporting characters, GLAAD counts only nine gay or lesbian characters — 1.3% — appearing on eight (8) different scripted network programs.
• There are an additional five (5) semi-regular recurring characters announced for this year.
• There are currently no bisexual or transgender representations on the broadcast networks.

Who are these few large-and-in-charge gays who are billed as the series leads?  Basically, it's some dude from CBS upcoming series The Class, everyone on The L Word, Lt. Dangle from Reno 911 and a bunch of people from cable shows you don't watch/have never heard of.

The supporting characters come from some more prominent shows, including ER (Carrie Weaver — yes, ER is still on the air), Desperate Housewives (bad seed Andrew) and The Office (cute closeted accountant Oscar).

Take a look at the survey — it's worth a perusal. 

So, no surprises with the Best Actor in a Comedy Voting with Steve Carell winning handily among TiFaux readers with Larry David coming in at a distant second. 

Ain't nothing going on in the Best Actress category where the nominees either evoke the reaction "She was in a show this year?" or "Her?  Again?"

Vote on the Jessica Walter-less nominees here

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Every week on The Runway, Heidi Klum introduces the judges.  And every week, when she says "Nina Garcia" she says it in this crazy teutonic, adenoidal way that makes me feel like my temples are going to explode.  It's like she's screaming, even though she is saying it at normal volume.

This week, however, I noticed it was decidedly toned down.  Was this just a fluke?  Or was there some sort of meeting where they had a sit-down with Heidi about how much it hurts when she says Nina's name.

Am I crazy?  Has anyone else noticed it?

So, again, I'm not sure if this category will yield very diverse results.  And this whole countdown shennanigan might be a mistake.

Oh well.  C'est la vie.

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I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little antsy. Sure, catching up on Lost and Deadwood and Wonderfalls and Firefly, and appreciating the dubious pleasures of Rock Star and the genuine joys of Project Runway, those things are all well and good, but was House's pain cured? What was in the suitcase Kendall Casablancas brought Keith Mars? How much, precisely, is Heroes going to disappointment me?

So here are the series premiere dates (courtesy of metacritic) for some shows that we like or plan to like. It won't be too long now. 

House - Tuesday, 9/5 @ 9

How I Met Your Mother - Monday, 9/18 @ 8:30

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - Monday, 9/18 @ 10

Grey's Anatomy - Thursday, 9/21 @ 9

The Office - Thursday, 9/21 @ 8:30

Heroes - Monday, 9/25 @ 9

Gilmore Girls - Tuesday, 9/26 @ 8

Smallville - Thursday, 9/28 (I have a sickness. I need help. More on this later) @ 8

Everybody Hates Chris - Sunday, 10/1 @ 7

Veroncia Mars - Tuesday, 10/3 @ 9

Lost - Wednesday, 10/4 @ 9

30 Rock - Wednesday, 10/11 @ 8:30

But Maggie, you say. There's no way you can watch all that TV. It's unhealthy. (Particularly the recent Smallville fixation.) Your eyes will start to bleed. Your brain cells will start leaking out your ear. Your ass will become molded to the fabric of your couch. Is that the life you want for yourself?

To which I say: Sure. Whatever. 

It seems a bit anti-climactic to do a big, dramatic countdown to the Emmys when, really, it's not all that exciting.  Can we really get excited about an event that bestows nominations on Kevin James and Two and a Half Men?

Yes, I'm a snob.  Yes, you knew that already.  Or you should have. 

In any case, the show is on Sunday, Aug. 27.  Until then, we'll be asking the TiFaux public to vote on who should win all the major categories.

For starters, take a gander at the nominees for Best Reality Competition: The Amazing Race, American Idol, Project Runway, Survivor and Dancing with the Stars.  I'm guessing there's not much of a contest here among our readership.

Be that as it may, vote after the jump.