So you’re telling me Kevin Bacon isn’t in this show? Not even a little?

Posted by Cristin September 14th, 2006 at 09:56am In General

While not-so-patiently waiting for the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother (Monday the 18th, 8:30, CBS! What happened between ted and robin? Will lilly call off her wedding to follow her artistic dreams? Is this the best show to ever star Bob Saget, ever? All these questions answered, and more! I hope!) I am continually assaulted by promos for ABC's new show, Six Degrees. Even on the subway–usually such a fortress of solitude and relaxation– I found no reprieve, as I looked up yesterday to see a banner for the show telling me "The man by the door will be your boss." Really? That guy? The one trying to sell me AA batteries and a $5 copy of John Tucker Must Die? Shit, man. If that's the case, I have much bigger issues than poorly written ad copy on my hands here.

From the network: It's a mysterious web of seeming coincidence and happenstance that draws these people closer to those who will change their lives forever. Even decisions made freely will seem part of a larger design begging the question if there is a greater force at work in our world, guiding us along and connecting our lives.

Oh. Alright.

I'm sure (in)famous psychologist Stanley Milgram would be thrilled to know that his enduringly-famous-despite-having-been-found-extremely-fallible 6 Degrees of Separation experiment is being used for the greater good. Just in case the rest of you didn't also waste four years of your life on a psychology BA, Milgram is best known for his Obedience to Authority experiment where he asked his test subjects to administer (fake) electric shocks to another (fake) test subject when they gave incorrect answers to test questions, as the (fake) test subject showed increasing and disturbing levels of pain from the shock treatment. This was back before they had "ethics" and stuff in psychological testing, and Milgram effectively proved that people will pretty much do whatever authority figures tell them to, even if it means hurting an innocent. (Hello, Nazi-era Europe). Where's the show on THAT, abc? Sadly, they're instead playing off of the 6 Degrees experiment, where Milgram picked two target individuals and asked a pool of randomly picked people to mail a letter on to a friend, who would then mail it to another friend, etc, to try to get to the target within six steps (Hello, annoying email chain letters). Thank you for sticking with me on that 5 sentence justification of my liberal arts education.

 Milgram: One step closer to Jessica Simpson.

Unlike the 1993 movie of a similar title starring Donald Sutherland (who lives next door to my office building, FYI. Say it with me: One step closer to Keifer. One step closer to Keifer), ABC cast The Dude Who Was In Crazy/ Beautiful, The Chick Who Was Mr Big's Wife, and The Poor Man's Julia Stiles. Then they scripted commercials that started with "They say in New Your City, you walk past the person you're going to marry three times before meeting them," causing everyone in the 212 to sit up and ask "Who? WHO says that?" Two strikes, ABC.