I originally found Lonelygirl15 in July when I was looking for a popular video on Youtube to explain how silly it is to be impressed by a few hundred thousand views of "Nobody's Watching." Since then I've become a fan of Lonelygirl15, and I honestly believed in her and Daniel. Well, we all know by now that it was fake. But really, whether it's fake or not is not nearly as important as whether it's good or not, and frankly it got less and less interesting right around the time that it was revealed as a fake. Bree is going to be involved in some sort of ritual that her religious cult performs every few years, and her dad is making her take diet pills. She's started sneaking out of the house, which is a good idea, but give me "Proving Science Wrong" or Daniel's crush on Bree any day. Injecting drama and a serialized cult sacrifice plotline isn't helping the show at all. The everyday problems of a young girl are interesting enough.

But what's really annoying me is that the creators are claiming to be inventing a new art form. And it's that claim that I have to call bullshit on. Fiction that claims to be documentary is nothing new. In films it goes back at least to the 1960s with the fictional personal documentary David Holzman's Diary practically pre-dating the real personal documentary. And if they're talking about fake video blogs in particular, I'm going to have to stake a claim to creating one before Loneygirl came on the scene. Granted, hardly anyone watched (23,000 total views on YouTube vs millions for Lonelygirl15) but I started a fake video blog called "Truth @ 15 Frames Per Second" in January. I'm not going to claim I invented anything. I'm sure there were others before me. But I did it before the Lonelygirl15 team, so screw you guys.

News nuggets to get you through your mid-afternoon slump.

• What do you call three aging rock stars and their reality show-selected lead singer?  Well, apparently not Supernova.  Tommy Lee and company are going to have to rename their group before they've even finished their album because a California-based punk trio of the same name won a recent legal battle.  The Tommy Lee Supernova has been banned from "performing rock and roll music, or recording, or selling rock and roll music recordings under the same (name), pending a trial of this action on its merits, or until otherwise ordered by the court."
• What was it?  Did giving Dave Coulier a blow job turn her off from men entirely? Or was parting ways with Ryan Reynolds and his abs just too much?  Because Alanis Morissette's gone gay.  She's actually just playing a lesbian love interest on Nip/Tuck — a show I guess I should be watching. 
• Jinkies!  On the set of CSI: New York, Melina Kanakaredes and Lt. Dan made a shocking discovery. While filming an episode about the discovery of a mummified body, the crew actually found a mummified body.  Actually, it was day workers and crew that found the body in the building and they don't know anything about who the person was or how they died yet.
• The dream is over.  After a single performance on the show, Tucker Carlson has been dismissed from Dancing With the Stars.  Poor fella.

Former "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills" star Jason Wahler arrested the morning after the VMAs for disorderly conduct, possession, resisting arrest and bribery. What a line up! He blocks traffic, gets arrested, tries to run away, has his cocaine taken, then tries to buy his way out of it.

For the record: I told you so!

While not-so-patiently waiting for the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother (Monday the 18th, 8:30, CBS! What happened between ted and robin? Will lilly call off her wedding to follow her artistic dreams? Is this the best show to ever star Bob Saget, ever? All these questions answered, and more! I hope!) I am continually assaulted by promos for ABC's new show, Six Degrees. Even on the subway–usually such a fortress of solitude and relaxation– I found no reprieve, as I looked up yesterday to see a banner for the show telling me "The man by the door will be your boss." Really? That guy? The one trying to sell me AA batteries and a $5 copy of John Tucker Must Die? Shit, man. If that's the case, I have much bigger issues than poorly written ad copy on my hands here.

From the network: It's a mysterious web of seeming coincidence and happenstance that draws these people closer to those who will change their lives forever. Even decisions made freely will seem part of a larger design begging the question if there is a greater force at work in our world, guiding us along and connecting our lives.

Oh. Alright.

I'm sure (in)famous psychologist Stanley Milgram would be thrilled to know that his enduringly-famous-despite-having-been-found-extremely-fallible 6 Degrees of Separation experiment is being used for the greater good. Just in case the rest of you didn't also waste four years of your life on a psychology BA, Milgram is best known for his Obedience to Authority experiment where he asked his test subjects to administer (fake) electric shocks to another (fake) test subject when they gave incorrect answers to test questions, as the (fake) test subject showed increasing and disturbing levels of pain from the shock treatment. This was back before they had "ethics" and stuff in psychological testing, and Milgram effectively proved that people will pretty much do whatever authority figures tell them to, even if it means hurting an innocent. (Hello, Nazi-era Europe). Where's the show on THAT, abc? Sadly, they're instead playing off of the 6 Degrees experiment, where Milgram picked two target individuals and asked a pool of randomly picked people to mail a letter on to a friend, who would then mail it to another friend, etc, to try to get to the target within six steps (Hello, annoying email chain letters). Thank you for sticking with me on that 5 sentence justification of my liberal arts education.

 Milgram: One step closer to Jessica Simpson.

Unlike the 1993 movie of a similar title starring Donald Sutherland (who lives next door to my office building, FYI. Say it with me: One step closer to Keifer. One step closer to Keifer), ABC cast The Dude Who Was In Crazy/ Beautiful, The Chick Who Was Mr Big's Wife, and The Poor Man's Julia Stiles. Then they scripted commercials that started with "They say in New Your City, you walk past the person you're going to marry three times before meeting them," causing everyone in the 212 to sit up and ask "Who? WHO says that?" Two strikes, ABC.

So Monday night I was chillin' in the VIP lounge (because that's the way I roll [true story - and stop laughing]) when I saw Ken Marino, the man who plays Vinnie Vanlowe in Veroncia Mars.

What happened next I'm almost too embarrassed to recount. I finally really understand why David's Law is such a necessity. It started when I ran to him and waved frantically. (You see, he was outside the VIP area [I'm an asshole], so I had to lean over a couch and shout to get his attention. Because you really want to start these conversations on the right foot.)

Me: You play Vinnie Vanlowe on Veronica Mars!
Ken Marino: Yes I do.
Me: I love that show!
Ken Marino: Thanks, it's fun to do.
Me: You're great!
Ken Marino: Thanks.
Me: You play Vinnie Vanlowe!

Turns out he wrote and starred in a movie, Diggers, which I am looking forward to seeing soon, hopefully, and now I'm telling all of you about it because the man should get some publicity after being so nice to an obviously deranged person who accosted him in the middle of a party. Also, Vinnie will be back on Veronica Mars.

I am not usually like this.  

Reasons against the existence of God: Canker sores, erectile dysfunction commercials, flourescent lighting, internet fan fiction.

Reasons for the existence of God: Dogs with floppy ears, baby fingers, Ben and Jerry's Half Baked ice cream, Vincent's dismissal from Project Runway.

It's a close race.

Undoubtedly, squeals of joy were released in homes across the country as Vincent was given his walking papers for designing what was actually one of his less offensive creations this season.  Considering he's the man who brought us the disturbing basket hat, the hideous unwalkable paper dress and the Gremlin garment, what he actually made was not that bad.

But here's how it all went down:

We're in Paris.  Angela's gone, Jefferey's insufferably smug, Laura's belly has swelled incredibly in what appears to be a matter of hours and Uli is presumably off with a bottle of wine getting vasted. 

Catherine Malandrino is still hanging out, being French, and announces that this week's challenge is to create a couture garment in two days.  They've got 300 euros to spend ($375) at the new fabric store.

Sketch, sketch, sketch.  Vincent is the subject of a lot of ridicule, by both his fellow designers and by the editors.  He's portrayed so pointedly as an egomaniacal loon that there really doesn't seem to be any way he isn't.  (Read this EW interview with him to see the real depths of crazy.  And to see him hate on Tim Gunn!)  He spends a lot of time asking for compliments and giving advice based on his questionable credentials in couture.

On the walk to the runway, which it turns out is a big French boat, Michael and his model become the victim of egg-throwing ruffians.  They don't make a direct hit, but egg splatters all over his dress.  He takes it in stride, but starts asking for drinks like he's suddenly posessed by Lindsay Lohan. 

While on the boat, Vincent decides that now would be the appropriate time to dry hump Catherine.  He goes on and on about how gorgeous she is and she's obviously weirded out. 

So here were the dresses:

The Best

Uli and Jefferey.

The best dresses were made by Jefferey and Uli.  Jefferey's an asshole, but his choice of the loud yellow plaid was pretty inspired and bold for a challenge that asked for hoighty-touighty fashion.  Uli's dress was a pattern-less (phew!), but characteristically flowy and had a neat quadruple strap. Either one would have been a worthy winner, but it's hard not to root for the person who's not a jerk.

The Worst

Vincent and Laura. 

I feel like I'm in the minority of people who actually took to what Laura was doing.  I mean, its flaw is that it is not terribly original, but it definitely fits with her style and I think it looks nice.  Vincent's dress, as usual, has some grating flaws (what's with his model's boobs a-jigglin' all over the place?), but, again, is actually one of the least offensive things he's made thus far.

The designers fly back to NYC (coach?) and make their presentations to the judges (Richard Tyler is the guest.  And I'd have no idea who he was either if Google never existed.).

Jefferey wins and it's just as painful as it sounds.  Laura and Vincent are in the bottom two. 

For a while there, it was a nail-biter.  I had the same sinking feeling I had when Alison was eliminated thinking that Vincent was going to skate by when he has hardly made a decent frock this whole time.  But this time, Laura was at stake.  If they kept Vincent around one more time I'd have to fly to the Bravo offices and stomp through the front door in a gay rage and take Heidi Klum personally to task.

Luckily and surprisingly, Vincent is shown the door.  No one is really caught up with emotion.  He ends his interview by saying something gross about something "turning me on" or "getting me off."  It's gross, as it always is.

Oh, and he cashed in his 401k to be here.  In case you didn't hear. 

News nuggets to help you through your morning slump.

• David Letterman isn't going anywhere.  He's resigned his contract, keeping his Late Show seat warm until 2010.  While we've got four more years to enjoy Letterman's uncomfortable, sporadically funny brand of comedy, at least the end is in sight for Jay Leno (2009). 
• Reality Blurred has a tittilating spoiler for Project Runway. It's only a rumor, but they purport to know who one of the final four designers is.
• Nerds are trying as hard as they can to ruin Lost for the rest of us.
• I hope you weren't planning on watching anything tonight at 9 .  Bush is giving a speech.  Presumably a Sept. 11 memorial speech, but somehow I suspect it could turn into a "Republicans, we're not so bad, vote for us in November" speech.
• The LonelyGirl15 mystery is growing.

You probably all know this because you were all watching Project Runway last night, but Six Feet Under reruns are coming to Bravo.  Dammit, I love this show.

I find this really exciting even though I own 3 of the 5 seasons on DVD and can watch them any time I want.  But now's as good of an opportunity as ever to get hooked on it.

The death begins Oct. 2 

My apologies for being so slow with this report on last week's excellent Project Runway. Due to various conflicts (midwestern states, mothers without TVs, the New Jersey transit schedule, and more watercrafts than you might expect), I only saw the episode last night.

The challenge was to create an outfitter for a jet-setter. The twist? That jet-setter is YOU! In more ways than you might think! 

Angela decided that linen was an appropriate fabric for traveling. She tries to blame her lack of inspiration for this challenge on being from Iowa and not traveling a lot, but damn, girl. Everybody knows you can't travel in linen, even Iowans. And how did you get to New York? Via teleportation? 

In other bad ideas, Vincent makes a pair of black scrubs. I hate him and everything he does, but that's kind of impressive. Congratulations, Vincent. You did absolutely nothing, but at least you didn't use linen.  

And Kayne? Poor, poor Kayne. I admire that he really stuck with his idea and seemed to like it, but he was the only one. He looked cute, but in a chorus-member-of-Joseph-and-the-Amazing-Technicolor-Dreamcoat way. Not in an actually cute way.

Michael, as usual, kicked ass in a seriously awesome-looking outfit. Who knew Michael was so hot?

Jeffrey continued being an insufferable ass, but his outfit was pretty great. And he won. Maybe now he'll stop whining for two seconds, though I won't be holding my breath. 

Uli finally got reprimanded for making the same dress over and over again. It's an excellent dress, and no one else has the balls to use prints (although I guess that thing Kayne taped to the back of his shirt was a "print"), but she really does need to branch out.

Laura should also branch out a bit, but I liked her dress. It looks like something I would actually buy, if it weren't so pale-colored. Also, I am back to loving Laura. A) She always looks genuinely happy when Michael gets complimented, because she loves him. B) She's got an awesome blase attitude about being pregnant. C) She also hates Jeffrey.

And then they all go to Paris. But Angela has to go back home, where I'm sure she'll take her anger out on some poor unsuspecting fleurchons.  

Summer's over, which, you know, sniff, tear, and all that — but now TV's back, starting with House, tonight at 9 on Fox. 

Set your tifauxs. It's time for some acerbic wit and coughing up blood.