Coffee in the afternoon makes my eye twitch.

• Seriously, how fucked up is this?  So, remember when O.J. Simpson killed all those people when we were in high school?  Well, the FOX network is going to air a hypothetical interview with O.J. saying that if he had, in fact, killed his ex-wife and her friend, how exactly he would have done it. The two-part interview will be done by book publisher Judith Regan and will be called O.J. Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened.  It'll will air Nov. 27 and Nov. 29.  I swear to God I'm not making this up.
• In hot, hot Survivor news, rumor has it that smokin' hot contestants J.P. and Brad are an item.  Brad clumsily danced around the issue in an interview with After Elton.  The big news out of this is that it wasn't clear that J.P. was even gay beforehand.  In fact, it was insinuated that he had a flirtation with Cecilia early in the season.
• After Elton has a sister site called After Ellen.  No joke.  And they are very happy about Tina Fey and her lesbionic friend's portrayal on 30 Rock.  
• Also, skinny, scraggly Survivor castaway Ozzy was apparently in a porn.  Seems very unappealing. 
• Mitch Hurwitz, the guy who did Arrested Development, is adapting a BBC series called The Thick of It for American TV.  The British show deals with a minister in Parliament and his wacky staff.  The American version will center around a member of Congress.  Hopefully this means they'll do exterior shots of the Capitol and I can walk around on my lunch break to try to get in them.  Sounds like a plan to me! 
• Meredith Grey got her skinny ass engaged. 
• Dancing With the Stars ends tonight.  Hopefully Dimples Adulterystein won't win.

A while back, the Onion AV Club came up with a list of loathed TV characters. I think it's time for an update, because I am full of rage right now at several people.

Walter, Betty's Boyfriend (Ugly Betty)

I know I said I was going to stop watching this show, but you know what? I lied. I still watch it. Every week. It's fun. But you know what's not fun, at all? WALTER. Walter is the opposite of fun. He's whiny, controlling, needy, pushy, a cheater, and not too bright. I HATE Walter. I have not hated a character this much since they introduced Ana Lucia. If they don't break up in the next four episodes, I may have to stop watching this show. And I'm serious this time. 

Logan Huntzberger, Rory's Boyfriend (Gilmore Girls)

Most of the rage on the internet is directed at Christopher, Rory's formerly absent but now all-too-present dad, but I think this is just distracting from the more important issue: Logan's complete and utter awfulness, and how he's slowly transferring his awfulness to Rory. Sure, he's out of the country, but his privileged, smug, jocular, manipulating, fundamentally unsympathetic influence can be felt all across the state of Connecticutt.

Danny Tripp/Matt Albie (Studio 60)

Sometimes it's Danny. Sometimes it's Matt. Sometimes it's neither, and I'm happy. But fairly frequently, I want to say: Stop arguing my side of the debate because you're getting it all wrong. Or, you're making good points, but you're leaving logic holes the size of Nevada (that quaint and sort-of-hick-ish state) all over the place. Or, why aren't you spending more time making your show funny instead of sermonizing? Or, JUST STOP. STOP TALKING.

Preston Burke (Grey's Anatomy)

This was a tough one. How to choose? They're all so uniquely horrible, all despicable and blind in their own special ways — what makes poor Preston worse than the rest? I think, in the end, it's that he's risking all these people's lives, just for the sake of his ego. Sure, he doesn't talk about it as much, and he's not as whiny and predictable and sentimental as the rest, but that's pretty bad.

Mohinder Suresh (Heroes)

It's not so much that I hate Mohinder, though I do, it's that I hate his whole storyline. It could not possibly be any more boring than it is. And the voice-overs? I zone out and look at the pretty pictures. It's not his character's fault, but I blame him anyway.