I’m Sick of Your Shit: Marc Horowitz

Posted by Maggie December 7th, 2006 at 05:42pm In Adverts I'm Sick of Your Shit

The whole idea behind this blog is that we have the DVR technology that allows us to skip over those pesky commercials. But sometimes you just can't wait through three minutes of silence to watch Veronica Mars, or everything on your List is old and the only thing on is a Friends repeat on TBS.

That's when you're going to run into one Marc Horowitz. That's the Nissan corporate site. He also has "blog," which is apparently supposed to be "not corporate."

First of all, there is no Marc Horowitz. I think we can all agree on this, yes? Marc Horowitz is played by an actor hired by Nissan to pretend to make a very stupid movie about how he lives in his car for a week. The fact that they expect us to believe in him is insulting. If he does exist, he clearly has no soul, so all the mean things I'm about to say about him are okay.  

Marc's existence or lack thereof aside, I'm still incredibly sick of his shit.

His chipper grin. The adorably quirky ways he deals with the limitations of living in a car. The casual way he addresses us, like we're all just stumbling upon him on youtube. Those flipflops. That ridiculous sprinkler he uses to shower.

I'm just going to go ahead and say it: Marc Horowitz is a douchebag.

There is nothing funny or interesting about these ads. Every time I hear Marc cheerfully introducing himself ("hey, it's me, Marc Horowitz… it's the fifth day of me living in my Sentra…") I want to impale myself on something. I start to hope that maybe a Sentra will crash into my apartment and put me in a coma. Or that Marc's car will get mad at him and start pumping CO2 through his air conditioner while he's sleeping.

I remind you that it's okay for me to say that, because he doesn't exist and/or is soulless.

So. Stop please, fake Marc. And in conclusion: DO NOT buy a Nissan Sentra.

love

maggie