Don’t Brustein The Wire

Posted by Maggie December 11th, 2006 at 12:15pm In Please Stop It

Kyle and I have recently taken up the DVDs of The Wire, which is just as good as everyone says it is. We're a couple episodes shy of finishing the first season, and as it's a show with four completed seasons out in the world, we're constantly at risk of having the whole thing Brusteined.

The background story: Robert Brustein is a big-time guy in the world of theatre. A couple years ago he was introducing a screening of the film Jacob's Ladder, attended by Kyle and his roommates at the time. In his introductory remarks, Brustein totally gave away everything that happens in the movie, ruining it. Thus, the verb "to Brustein" was born.

You can be Brusteined at any time. Once, many, many years ago, I was giving my brother and his friend a ride home from the mall. A movie with a famous twist ending had just come out, and I hadn't seen it yet. Neither had my brother. My brother's friend started talking about it, and I told him to shut his stupid trap. The next words out of his mouth? "It was Kevin Spacey."  

Last night, we attended a comedy show featuring Aziz Ansari (who is hilarious; if you haven't seen this, stop everything and watch immediately). Aziz was talking about how great The Wire is, a sentiment with which I could not agree more. And then this happend.

Heckler: They kill [character name].
Aziz: WHY DID YOU JUST SAY THAT?

And indeed, why would someone do this? Why would Robert Brustein ruin Jacob's Ladder? Why did that little snot say Kevin Spacey's name?

I can understand accidentally letting spill some nugget of info, in your enthusiasm for discussing a great piece of entertainment. But who gets off on taking all the suspense out of everything, just for a moment of feeling smart and superior? What kind of person Brusteins with a smug smile on their face (because, as I'm sure you've noticed, these assholes are always smiling)? Do they want to be slapped across the face?

Please, Brusteining psychos, let us enjoy our early episodes of The Wire in peace.

Also, do watch The Wire. I have learned so much about drug dealing.