Golden Globes: The play-by-play

Posted by Dan January 16th, 2007 at 09:30am In Special Events

Last night, instead of going on a date or helping the poor, I live blogged the Golden Globes.  Here it goes…

7:08: Giuliana DiPandi asks Dane Cook if people are usually shorter in person.  He says yes.  Sensing a lull in the conversation, she asks him if he is going to tattoo the name of his brunette date on his ass.  He looks like he wants to leave immediately.  Meanwhile, Ryan Seacrest talks to the Greys Anatomy crowd (plus Kyra Sedgwick, WTF?) and Chandra Wilson is barely recognizable when she's all did up.

7:28: While Joan Rivers talks to J. Lo and the always-terrifying Marc Antony, Geena Davis arrives wearing a surprisingly okay dress.  Remember when she won last year and then they cancelled her show?  Memories.  Ooh… Melissa's talking to Jenna Fisher and John Krasinksi and they're rocking the autism pins. 

7:38: God, Will Ferrell's hair is huge.

7:49: I just noticed that E! is scrolling text messagees from random viewers at the bottom of the screen.  It's making me judgemental.

7:52: Ooh, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are talking to Joan.  They make me want to be part of a famous artsy bohemian couple.

7:55: Joan just gave the most scatterbrained interview I've ever seen to Mary-Louise Parker.  As they gave a closing exterior shot on the way to commercial, she asked, a propos of nothing, "How tall are you?" 

8:12: The Miss Golden Globe thing always makes me uncomfortable.  But Jack Nicholson's daughter is quite pretty.

8:14: Jeremy Irons?  Boooooo!  Over Masi Oka?  I think not.  And what the hell is he wearing?  Just get back from re-creating the Civil War, Jer?  Blah, blah, blah.  Do you think Jeremy Piven brings his mom to all the award shows just so he can drop her off after the show and then get a random piece of ass while appearing sensitive? 

8:17: Kyra Sedgwick?  This is going to be a long effing night.  I mean, God bless, but who cares? 

8:30: Izzie?  Harry?  Who's it gonna be?  Emily Blunt — who I swear I've never heard of until tonight.

8:34: Hugh Laurie, don't even front like you didn't have every syllable of that speech planned.

9:34: My roommates and I just took a break to move furniture around so we can accommodate our large new television.  It's resting on an end table right now and the DVD/cable box are on a small table with a green table cloth.  It is absolutely hideous, but we can't stop laughing. Oh, and congrats Ugly Betty.  I love an underdog.

9:52: I guess I should start watching Ugly Betty. 

10:45: Grey's Anatomy?  They do realize this show isn't good good, right? I don't think these things are given out ironically.

10:58: Zzzzzz….