Jack Bauer and his brother (BROTHER!) hash out some issues.

Peter Petrelli sneaks into the girl's locker room and robs banks with his new buddy. Because his new buddy's invisible. Get it?

Things happen on Studio 60. Things. Just some things. … oh, all right. Danny Tripp is huge stalker and needs to be stopped. The only thing I liked last week — Tom asking out Lucy — will no doubt be ruined because of this whole coincidental Women United In Faith/the Macau daughter loves Tom/Matt is in a bidding war over Harriet nonsense. I will have eight aneurysms, feel guilty about it, and then have another fit over feeling guilty.

Chris becomes a hall monitor on Everybody Hates Chris. Seriously, why aren't you watching Everybody Hates Chris? It's not a must-see day-of show, but it's solid week to week. I can't tell you how many times "that's $0.23 worth of buttermilk!" or "I don't need this, my husband has two jobs" comes up in regular life. 

(If this becomes a regular feature, I will try harder to post it before five.) 

While having a dog could be fun, it would suck having to sacrifice my social life. 

• By George…  Rumor has it that T.R. Knight is making noise about leaving Grey's Anatomy.  Apparently he doesn't like being called nasty names and not having anything done about it.  However, the network says it's all balderdash.  Malarkey.  Jabberwocky.  Twaddle.
• The SAG awards were last night.  The TV awards you'd care about went to Alec Baldwin, America Ferrera, Chandra Wilson, Hugh Laurie and the casts of The Office and Grey's Anatomy.
• Armed and Famous (the one where LaToya Jackson's a cop) has been promptly shelved. 
• Ivanka Trump could have been The Bachelorette. America's loss.
• If you're so inclined, you can watch the unaired episodes of Daybreak on ABC.com.  Don't everybody go at once.
• Here's a list of all the pranks that have been played on The Office.  There's something for you to do.
• Someone's gonna die on Heroes.  Let's all cross our fingers and hope it's Nikki/Jessica. 
• Ed Helms is a sweetie pie. 

Loyal readers may realize that we here at TiFaux are nearing our one-year anniversary. That’s right — back in early February of 2006, we got on this crazy rollercoaster, and the time has really flown by. Things were different way back then. Arrested Development was still on the air. Meg was in a coma. I hadn’t watched a single episode of Battlestar Galactica or Lost or The Wire or Deadwood or every episode of Buffy in a row. Times really have changed.

Those were the days.

As part of a continuing series of “What does it all mean” self-reflective bullshit-filled posts I hope to write in the next week, I’ve been thinking about the year ahead, and I’ve come up with some goals. Feel free to add to these in the comments.

• I will find the courage and conviction to stop watching Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The minor joys (Tom asks out Lucy, Jack is a rock star) do not in any way make up for the horrible anxiety and frustration I go through every time I sit down to an episode. It’s not worth it, for my health and sanity. Likelihood this will happen: 10%
• A while ago we put up google ads. Google doesn’t pay you until you make $100. I hope to reach that benchmark in 2007. Then I will buy you all a beer. Likelihood this will happen: 85%
• I will stop talking about High School Musical so much. Likelihood this will happen: 2% (one word: sequel)
• We’ll introduce some regular features, like Week in Review or Gold Star for Excellence. Both of those mean something in my head. Stayed tuned for updates. Likelihood this will happen: 72%
• Gilmore Girls will stop being so horrible, the islanders will find home and an explanation on Lost, the humans and cylons will declare peace, Heroes will end an episode without saying “To be continued…”, and Jim and Pam will get married and have a million babies. Likelihood this will happen: 0%