Jason Wahler was arrested this weekend and charged with underage drinking and resisting a public officer, authorities said Monday.

Wahler, 20, who appeared on MTV’s ”Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County” reality series, was arrested by an undercover state Alcohol Law Enforcement agent at Rumors nightclub in Greenville late Friday night and booked at Pitt County Jail early Saturday morning, authorities said.

So far we're only getting CBS in HD. Literally the only show I watch on CBS is How I Met Your Mother, which is a repeat tonight anyway. So thanks a lot, Time Warner. Not.

In cheerier, if more apocalyptic, news, we rejoin 24 after the tape recorder bomb nearly exploded the president. Saintly Reformed Terrorist probably saved his life, but I'm sure Powers Booth will wreak some havoc while the prez mends. Similar to how I kept expecting James Cromwell to start calling people boy-o and shooting them in the gut, I'm convinced that any second Powers Booth is going to start murdering some whores. So be on the lookout, White House bunker whores.

Man, Heroes last week was great. They kept focus on one main storyline, there were some fun twists, and it capped off with a very dramatic (but absolutely logical and satisfying) conclusion. Here's hoping they keep it up tonight. 

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Another Travel Channel possible gem — Bizarre Foods With Andrew Zimmern. Tonight, he tries lamb's head and pigeon pie. 

Hypothetical: say you're a young gay sociopath. 

Does becoming a homeless male prostitute suddenly make you wise, even-tempered and dependable?

I mean, that's the way it worked out for me.  But it seems a little forced with young Andrew on Desperate Housewives. 

Previously: NYIntern visits TeenVoid and proves that either LC is not great at her “job,” or the MTV editors seriously dislike her as a human being. Audrina, happy to be back in the sorority, offered up lots of happy tidbits about Spencer regifting flowers and being a general douche, but Heidi went back to him like a month to a flame. But a really pretty moth. To a seriously douchey flame.

We open at a cozy looking café, where Heidi casually announces her decision to give Spencer another chance. To LC’s credit, she doesn’t pull the Girlfriend Redaction and proclaim “that’s so great!” but sticks to her guns and maintains (accurately) that Spencer is crap. “I see so many qualities that Jason had in him,” she tells Heidi. “The awful hair, the poor understanding of basic grammar, the heinous accessories,” she continues. In my head. “I’m just gonna have fun and see what happens,” Heidi chirps but LC is not tryin’ to hear that, see. “I don’t want to talk about him. I won’t hang out with him,” she tells her best friend and roommate of her newly reinstated boyfriend. Where could this conflict be going?

Spencer awaits Heidi at Bread Bar, and greets her arrival with a wolf whistle and flowers. “I broke the piggy bank for those,” he comments of the stems, because there’s nothing more romantic than a trust fund baby with no job who leaves the price tags on all your presents. Heidi seems to appreciate them, though, and quickly relates to him the Lauren drama. “I wish I hadn’t been such a jerk to start out with,” Spencer laments. Well if Ifs and Buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a merry Christmas, Spence, so maybe you should think of that the next time you offer to have a naked picnic with a playmate. “I don’t think people get it. Heidi’s my number one,” he continues. Extraneous and oddly placed use of proper nouns! Everyone take a shot!

Back at home, Heidi hands the flowers off to LC saying that Spencer had bought them for her. “Is he going to give them to Audrina later?” LC responds quickly. Oh SNAP. Miss Jackson if you’re nasty! LC cuddles with the Cat With No Name Whose Presence Has Not Been Adequately Explained To Me before receiving a phone call. Since Viacomm *again* spent MTV’s closed captioning budget on casting people OTHER THAN MYSELF in VH1’s World Series of Pop Culture (fools!), I guess that it’s InternWhitney. I’m wrong. It’s Audrina, and she’s making dinner! The two have an interaction that is patently uninteresting.

Dear spinach.  I like you.  Do you like me?  Check yes or no. 

• Wendie Malick and James Brolin are going to star in a DC-based pilot.
• The hollow shell that used to be Andrew Dice Clay will have its own reality show.
• Cliff from Cheers will replace Vincent Pastore on Dancing with the Stars. 
• What's worse than two hours of The Wizard of Oz?  Six.  Alan Cumming, Richard Dreyfuss and Zooey Deschanel will star in a six-hour miniseries for Sci-Fi called Tin Man.
• Bill Clinton will present TV Land's upfronts. 
• Jordan Catalano broke his nose.  A nation mourns.  And giggles. 
• Did you know Mary-Louise Parker is dating Denny Duckett?  It's true. 
• People continue to overanalyze the reasons for Lost's ratings plunge.
• Desperate Housewives will be on the air until 2011.  I'm not kidding.