I'm so demoralized. I just wrote an enormous post (there's a lot of shit on tonight, people) and then accidentally deleted it. I'm sorry if this is a little low on energy, and I'm sorry I can't bring myself to find a photo to brighten up all the gloom. DAMMIT. I hate this. I promised myself I wouldn't cry! Fuck. Well, here we go.

Already over-crowded Thursday beefs up even more tonight with a slew of new shows. First, there's Andy Richter's new show, Andy Barker: PI. As a fan of the underrated Andy Richter Controls the Universe and a devoted follower of Jane Espenson's blog, I will be watching with interest. Only, don't watch with too much interest, because we don't want it to permanently shove 30 Rock off the schedule.

Also starting tonight is Raines, which I believe Dan said he thought it looked dreadful. I'm withholding judgment. I like Jeff Goldblum (hello guru? I forgot my mantra). And the premise (hallucinating man solves crimes), if cleverly written, could be fun. We'll see.

October Road rips of the plots of Garden State, Ed, Beautiful Girls, and lots and lots of other things you've seen many times before. It's written by… wait for it… the writer of Beautiful Girls! Shocking, I know. It's on ABC, if for some crazy reason you still want to see it. 

Grey's Anatomy is back with a new episode. What's that? You're too good for Grey's Anatomy? Listen, we all know it's not Shakespeare. It's not even The O.C. It's that giant container of Sam's Club brand cheese puffs that you would never, ever purchase on your own, but when it's standing open right in front of you (weighing as much as a small child), you eat the whole thing. It's okay to admit it.

The Office is trying out "newpeats," a scam to get you to watch old episodes by inserting cut scenes. I should say a heartless scam, for also denying us actual episodes of the Office.

AND, there's a new Ugly Betty.

I'm going to go take a nap now.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Stealing Dan's idea — Addiction on HBO if you've got access.  

As everyone who watches Lost must have noticed, they're really half-assing it with these deaths.  Boone's death was good.  Shannon's was satisfying (mostly because she was a pain in the arse).  But ever since, it's just been Tailies and highly expendable Others.  None of the core group has died.  And for a show that pioneered the "someone's going to die" sweeps trickery, they really have some catching-up to do.

And the first person that I think should be on the chopping block is Claire.  Well, maybe second. 

She's really the biggest dead weight on the show — the least interesting castaway by far.  Pretty much all she's done is gestate a baby, get kidnapped and serve as a love interest for Charlie. And, ever since, get mad at him for one reason or another and respond by taking away the baby a hundred times. 

And people seem to think that they can't kill her because she has a baby.  I say, "Kill away!" 

Last night's Claire-centric episode should have made her more interesting.  But no.  All we learned was that at one point she was a raven-haired, Hot Topic-y teen who accidentally put her mom in a permanent vegetative state.  And that she's pretty much been petulant and quick-tempered all along.  Oh, and that she's Jack's half-sister (but everyone knew that already, right?).

Possible ways to make Claire's character more engaging:

• There have been twin Claires all along, nursing two babies.  They've been rotating in and out.  It has something to do with the Others.
• Claire rips off her face, Mission: Impossible-style, and it's Ben.  Ben Vereen.
• Recast the role.  Fire Emilie de Ravin and replace her with Ryan Gosling.  Write a storyline about a heatwave that hits the island and forces much shirtless-ness.
• She's a robot.
• She starts granting wishes.
• Every week she does the Double Dare obstacle course and continually gets tripped up on the Sundae Slide.

In other news, isn't Locke the worst?  That was some bold murder he committed last night with Vladimir Von Eyepatch — just casually shoving him into the brain-fryer. I hate that guy.

For a long time, I thought that this show was a figment of my childhood imagination.

• HBO is launching its Addiction project tonight. It's a fourteen-part documentary series about, well, addiction.  And you can probably watch it too, because a lot of cable systems are having a free preview weekend from tonight to Sunday.
• Conan O'Brien is going to San Francisco for the first week of sweeps.  Guessing there'll be some gay jokes. 
• Showtime has picked up a comedy starring Mulder. 
• Ugly Betty nearly worked for the FBI.
• Oscar from The Office is starring in Halfway Home on Comedy Central.  It's supposed to be like Reno 911 for people in halfway houses — as in, it's partially improvised.  It's on tonight at 10:30.
• The Riches on FX apparently did well in the ratings.  I didn't watch it, but hopefully it won't become a snooze like Dirt. 
• TV Squad tells a story about meeting Alyssa Milano (and her hypnotic breasts).