Peyton Manning hosts Saturday Night Live. I hope he picks someone up and tosses them around. For some reason that’s all I can picture happening with such a huge dude up on that tiny stage.

But the big excitement is that it’s the season finale of Battlestar Galactica! I am pumped. Especially because I’ve determined my own personal interpretation of Ausiello’s cryptic spoiler, which I’m going to write on a piece of paper and mail to myself and then when it’s true I will have proof that I totally called it, and all you suckers will have to bow down to my mind-blowing interpretive skillz!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: The Jack Black produced Acceptable TV premieres tonight on VH1. A bunch of short pieces are played and you, the viewer, vote on your favorites. Or don’t. As the case may be. Miss USA is also on tonight. The spectacle! The glamour! The queasy feeling in my stomach that won’t go away!

ALSO: Voting on the TiFaux Madness ladies’ first round ends tonight. Check back on Monday for the men’s first round, plus the next round of the women!

There are many things in this world I know nothing about. A DNS Server is just one.

• First of all, I couldn’t get on TiFaux yesterday. So no news yesterday. Sorry to upend your whole existence like that. But I did do it — I just posted it here. See, I wouldn’t let you down. I love you, you know.
• Lauren “L.C.” Conrad from The Hills talks to People about staying friends with her ex-boyfriends. Including the jailed ones.
• Jamie Kennedy will be in a weird new show co-starring Lee Majors, as himself.
• Battlestar’s fourth season will be boosted from 13 to 22 episodes, including a two-hour extended episode.
• You can now buy episodes of Newsradio, Charlie’s Angels and Starsky and Hutch on iTunes.
• The LA Times examines that big stupidhead from Lost — John Locke.
• Justin Timberlake, who is apparently new to show business, feels used by the Grammys.
• Another article about the TV version of This American Life. Anybody in the DC area have Showtime and want to host a viewing party? I’ll bring the homemade guacamole.
• Fans watch The Sopranos shoot its final scenes.
• An interview with Will Arnett and Amy Poehler. I wish they were my wacky neighbors.
• Straight women don’t like The L Word anymore, apparently.
• Kiefer is developing a sci-fi series.
• The National Organization for Women and Tyra Banks are totally in a fight.