Almost a year ago, I posted a link to some nifty new Mac ads that I thought were pretty cool. At the time I actually thought they would have limited air time and would mostly be watched by people on the Internets actively seeking them out. Oh, Kyle From The Past, you were so naïve. Now those ads are everywhere. They show them silently on webpages I visit, begging me to “click for sound.” And I do. I click on them. And they’re on TV all the time. Sometimes I stop fast-forwarding the TiFaux to watch them.

Why do I watch these ads? It’s not the content. Pretty much all of the advertisements are based on incomplete or false information targeted towards people who don’t know how to use their computers, and from what I can tell, have never used a Mac. Take the recent “Computer Cart” ad. “PC” is sitting on a cart with other business-suit types. PC has some sort of cryptic error message and he has to go away to IT to get fixed. “Mac” claims not to know about cryptic error messages. Now I’m no operating system partisan. I think they’re both great, and I actually have both OS X and Windows installed on my PC. But anyone who has ever used a Mac has seen those wonderfully cryptic error messages like “Adobe Photoshop has unexpectedly quit.” Is there anything more cryptic than a complete lack of information? Yahoo has a nice analysis of the accuracy of the ads which comes out at 50%, although I’d put it even lower.

But true or not, they’re unusually funny and clever. They’re instantly recognizable when you’re scanning through on the TiFaux. And they have John Hodgman. He’s a nerd legend. He used to be a literary agent, and now he’s a correspondent on The Daily Show! They have a great format that allows for a large number of episodes. There’s no reason why it couldn’t go on for years. Really what we have is a 30 second sitcom broadcast between longer television programs. It’s not serialized, and the characters never learn or grow, but the same was true of Seinfeld. It’s not in danger of being turned into a pilot like the Geiko Cavemen (a punchline that barely merited two commercials, let alone a 30 minute sitcom) since it’s impossible for these anthropomorphic machines to exist outside of the white netherworld of the commercial. And that’s a good thing. Just imagine a show with the two of them sharing an apartment like the Odd Couple.

Having nicely wrapped up the terrorist plot before the end of the day, Jack must now track down poor tortured Audrey. Meanwhile, it really looks like the president is going to croak, doesn’t it?

Drive airs another episode tonight. I’m sorry, but I have to give this one a big fat no. I love Nathan Fillion and all, but this show is ridiculous. I have nothing against elaborate, constantly unfolding conspiracies (see: Lost), but ease us into it, you know? Try to make us care about these people as regular people, in realistic situations doing things people actually do, before you transform their entire world into a giant evil conspiracy. It’s too ridiculous, there are too many hastily sketched characters, and that man’s daughter looks too much like Lindsay Lohan. I’m giving it up.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Don’t get enough weird medical shit on House? Try Mystery Diagnosis on Discovery Health. And we at TiFaux can’t stress enough how important it is to continue to avoid Thank God You’re Here. This is for your own good.

There seems to be some tension on our merry little blog right now, given the battle of wills that has emerged due to the tournament as well as a number of commenters who are, likely, neglecting their geometry homework in order to lose their shit over months-old postings. Each member of the TiFaux crew has had to sass back at various unruly commenters.

But now I’d like to take a moment to even some things out and just dote on some of the wonderful things and people that live in the television.

Mindy Kaling as Kelly on The Office

I mentioned Mindy as one of the unsung heroes of The Office and I really think that. And now, after reading that AV Club interview, I’ve got this weird crush on her. Like I just want to tug on her skirt and say “You’re so funny and artsy and I want you to be my friend. Let’s go get Mexican food and then buy shoes.” (not that shoe-shopping is something that I like to do — I’ve avoided it to the point that one of my most regularly worn pair of shoes is rotting out from the inside. True story)

Furthermore, the character of Kelly really just gets better. She’s gone from ‘ethnic girl in the background’ to that celebrity gossip-obsessed person that you totally know. She’s had some really great moments such as “Shiloh and Suri are amaaaaazing” and when she begged for the murder of the bat.

And if you haven’t gone to her Web site (Things I’ve Bought That I Love) then you really need to get your blog-readin’ ass over there, pronto, because it’s some funny shit.

The Starburst “Berries and Cream” commercial

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Now, I’m pretty sure that this will be a pretty polarizing subject, but I really love this new Starburst commercial. It could be because I’m attracted to anything that doesn’t make sense and doesn’t try to justify the fact that it doesn’t make sense. The foppish guy is quite nightmarish and I’m not sure how this one got past the guys at corporate, but I find myself hypnotized by this spot every time it comes on.

Kim Martucci

If you don’t live in the D.C. metropolitan area, then you probably don’t know Kim Martucci. She’s the local CBS affiliate’s morning weatherperson.

Now, I hate all the morning shows as much as the next guy, but I generally find CBS’s The Early Show marginally less grating than the rest. (The one exception to that rule is their weatherman, Dave Price. He’s always trying to get a big crowd of people to chant with him “What’s going on in your area?” when he throws to the local forecasters, but it’s so awkward and not catchy that it’s usually just him desperately trying to lead the crowd and them shouting gibberish.)

In any case, Kim Martucci doesn’t do gimmicks and she doesn’t do morning show artificial perky (once, she even gave Mr. Price a little tongue-lashing for taking too much time to on the main broadcast — it was awesome). She doesn’t have a stupid weatherman name. She’ll give a reasonable amount of good-to-see-you pleasantries. I kind of wish she lived in my breakfast nook so that she could give me the day’s forecast and give me a high-five as I head out the door.

Tanking Apprentice Ratings

I guess if the theme of this post is “keeping it positive,” then laughing at the misfortune of others really shouldn’t count. But it’s Donald Trump, so… yeah. Ratings and buzz for The Apprentice have been decidedly tepid, and even though Donald Trump has engaged in both shameless media ploys and petty, dare I say sexist and homophobic, antics with Rosie, none of that has really helped. The Apprentice might not be on its last legs just yet, but I’m pretty sure no amount of gimmickry will resurrect its popularity.

All Things Tina Fey

Listen, I’m not about to try to steal Maggie’s thing. I have more respect than that. I mean, it’d be like Cristin talking about Jake Gyllenhaal incessantly or Kyle swashbuckling around and talking about pirates. We each have our “thing.”

But I’ve been doting on Tina Fey a lot lately. I know people say that Alec Baldwin is the reason to watch 30 Rock, but I feel like Tina Fey gets the best laughs (see her sexy pajamas on last week’s episode). She really won me over several episodes back when she was talking about “being un-American” — saying something along the lines of “I’m not un-American. Just because I think gay dudes should be able to adopt and we should all be driving hybrid cars doesn’t mean I’m un-American.” Then she flashed a superstar smile to the camera, thus stealing my heart.

If you are wondering if I rewound the TiFaux to watch it again, the answer is yes.

My old school district is letting out three hours early because of wind. So not fair.

• In case you wanted to relive the headache that was My Fair Brady, you can watch it again as the TV Guide Channel has bought the rights to a bunch of VH1 Celebreality repeats.
• In the Venn diagram of “people with goals” and “people who are applying to be on The Real World,” the overlap is very, very small.
• Jermaine, Tito and LaToya Jackson will host a talent show on CBS for singin’ families.
• In loss of innocence news, children are giving up playing in the creek and going to sleepaway camp in favor of American Idol camp, featuring Carmen Rasmusen and Jon Peter Lewis.
• Cristin’s favorite, Robin Antin, gets kudos from Go Fug Yourself.
• Keith Olbermann is in a one-sided fight with Anderson Cooper.
• The Tudors got a second season.
• Animal Planet will begin to air Supernanny for dogs.
• USA Today talks TV euthanasia.
• Everybody say “Buffy!”: the vampire slayer is a gay icon.
• And apparently Blood Ties, another vampire show, is pretty good. It’s on Lifetime (?).
• Kristin from E! teases us with a Smallville shocker.
• Goran Visnjic and unlikely TiFaux Tournament favorite Maura Tierney discuss the end of their ER days.
• The latest on a Gilmore Girls renewal: possibly a shortened final season?
• The cast of Frasier may reunite on stage.