A doornail. Abraham Lincoln. A sea in Israel. A Grateful band.

Posted by Dan April 25th, 2007 at 02:54pm In Charts Grey's Anatomy Heroes Jack Bauer Lost

May sweeps is almost upon us and that will likely spell R-I-P for at least a few of our friends on the small screen. Last year, we said goodbye to Misha Barton’s character on The O.C., Ana Lucia and Libby on Lost and, I presume, more than a few folks on 24.

This year promises to be no different. We’ve already lost Heroes’ Isaac, as he was crucified and lobotomized (in that order) by Sylar on Monday’s episode. And, from what I hear, the rivers on Lost’s remote island will run red with heaps of dead castaways. I think someone’s even going to die on Grey’s — but it seems like Meredith’s return from the dead may be pinpointed as the show’s shark-jumping moment, so who really cares?

So here’s a little charty on who I think will die versus who we wouldn’t mind not hearing from again. A few explanations follow.

A bit of rationale:

Burke - My grand “he’ll kill himself because he can’t be a suuuurgeon!” theory is pretty much dead in the water at this point. And as much as we’ve all acquired a distaste for Isaiah Washington, if they haven’t killed off him or another central cast member so far I don’t think they ever will.

Hiro - He will never die. Ever. And that’s how it should be.

Charlie and Desmond - I can’t decide if they’re trying to fake out the audience with this Charlie death stuff. Are they going to have a magical fate reassignment somehow? Or are they going to be all “you can’t fight the future” (wait — wrong show)? Maybe they’re going to throw us a curveball and have Desmond die instead. After all, he isn’t one of the original survivors and Lost loves to kill the newbies.

And Cristin helps me out with the 24 forecasts:

Milo - Milo is new this season and recently confessed his love for co-CTU employee Nadia. We all know that’s the kiss of death (heyo!), particularly since Nadia just stepped up as his boss, and will be able to put him in many situations where he could perish in the line of duty and he could feel suitably guilty.

Morris - Our favorite member of the Chloe O’Brien love triangle (Milo and his weird facial hair being the other), Morris was forced into a life changing Sophie’s Choice early on in the season where he was made to arm nuclear weapons for a terrorist group in order to save his own life. 24 would never allow death for someone who could, instead, live out the rest of their life under the crippling weight of such guilt.

Doyle - First, you are played by Ricky Shroder. Who elects to be listed as “Ricky” in the credits. Second, we like killing off “Big Name” season guest stars (see also: Sean Astin). Lastly, you are a douche, and people keep referring to what a lunatic you were when assigned to Denver . You’ll either make a large-scale mistake that you thought was ballsy enough to warrant the risk and die honorably, or Jack will have to kill you in the line of duty.