It’s over.

I still haven’t watched a single episode of television this week. It’s KILLING ME. Especially because it’s the season finale of The Office, and we all know how season finales of The Office tend to be awesome. If there’s another equivalent of last year’s Jim/Pam kiss, the type of thing that every person on the internet feels the need to comment on and post YouTube clips of, it will be a bad, bad day for me tomorrow.

Ugly Betty is also wrapping up its season tonight. Betty loves Henry, Daniel’s on the junk, Ignacio’s stuck in Mexico, Marc and Amanda found the love dungeon, Wili’s stuck with old and boring Bradford, Claire’s in jail, Hilda’s getting married, Justin’s adorable, Nick is a jerk, Alex is still a woman — and I hear there are going to be songs. Fantastic.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: I haven’t watched TV in a week and you want me to recommend you something out of the ordinary? I can’t take the pressure. I’m just going to say the title of something, do no research, and leave no explanation. Ready? Okay… Monkey Dust. Sundance Channel. Happy now?

I’m always intrigued by Fox’s pilots. Say what you will about the network, they do some really off-the-wall, risk-taking stuff. Unfortunately, they also tend to CANCEL their interesting shows before they get a chance to find an audience. So don’t get too attached to these guys.

I have mixed feeling for a lot of this list. The Return of Jezebel James is written by Amy Sherman-Palladino and stars Parker Posey, which should be enough to have me cheering from the rooftops, but it’s a traditional four-camera sitcom, which seems a little backwards to me. The Sarah Connor Chronicles could be fun, but I don’t care how many weird MySpace explanations he posts, I won’t forgive Thomas Dekker for making Zack straight. The Rules for Starting Over is executive produced by the Farrelly Brothers, but “Sex in the City for dudes” is not a premise I’m particularly interested in.

I’m ambivalent about the Kelsey Grammer/Patricia Heaton Back To You — maybe I’m just put off by the assumption that just because these people were in hits before, we’re all automatically going to be eating out of their hands. New Amsterdam is about a supernatural immortal detective, searching for his one true love — like so many detectives these days, huh? But I saw a picture of the said Immortal (breaking my unspoken rule that these wrap-ups will be based on pure imagination alone), and he’s sorta cute.

Canterbury’s Law: Blech. K-Ville: Eh.

And that’s it! So long, upfronts. It’s been fun. Wrap-up coming tomorrow, but just a hint: I love Viva Laughlin the best.

Sorry. But, really, what have you done for me lately.

• Oh no!  Jenna Fischer took a fall.
• House beat American Idol in the ratings.  Go Hugh!
• Katee Sackhoff on The Bionic Woman.  And a scary picture of her.
• No government cheese for Kristen Bell. Even if Veronica Mars doesn’t make it, she’ll be narrating Gossip Girls.
• The 14 most touching Simpsons episodes, according to TV Squad.
• Pitchfork credited a CD review to Piz.
• John Krasinski and Rashida Jones: on again?
• Chandra “Doctor Bailey” Wilson will cover the red carpet for the Daytime Emmys.
• Ack! The Office cast out of character!
• The Top Chef 3 Web site is up, if you wanted to look at the new cast.

I almost don’t want to publish this now, because apparently the fate of Veronica Mars is still up in the air — they could still decide in the next couple of weeks if they’re going to go ahead with the FBI Veronica version. So don’t be too upset that Veronica’s not on this list.

Ugh. There’s practically nothing to comment on. I guess we should all be looking forward to Gossip Girls, from O.C. creator Josh Schwartz, but I hate to break it to you guys: Those books suuuuuuuuckkkk. I mean they’re just awful in every way. Maybe Schwartz will figure out a way to make the characters believable, likable, or interesting, but it’s going to be an uphill battle.

And I just can’t bring myself to care about anything else here. What about you?