You see, while you all were watching these great new episodes and I was busy slaving away at work and competing in adult spelling bees, my TiFaux was saving up lots and lots and lots of TV, so now I have tons (Literally tons. A metric ton of television) of great stuff to watch this weekend. But all you get is Zach Braff on SNL. Who’s crazy now, huh? I mean, Zach Braff. Even people who like Scrubs admit that Zach Braff can be sort of a tool.

It’s also the 400th episode of The Simpsons on Sunday. That’s a very large number of episodes.

Sci-Fi is airing all of the first season of Heroes tomorrow. Watch to prepare for Monday’s finale, and mourn plotlines that died early deaths. Eden, Zack, Niki’s red-headed friend… ah, the memories. (Thanks for the tip, Dan.)

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Tonight is the premiere of National Bingo Night. Cue giggling to mask the horror that this should ever come to pass. On Sunday, Wayne Brady stars in an ABC Family original movie, The List. If you’ve ever wondered what Malcolm Jamal-Warner, Tatyana Ali, and Sydney Tamiia Poiter (Ms. Dent! What up, VMars season 1!) are up to, this is a partial answer.

The delightful week of pure television speculation is over, and now we’re left with four months to mourn Veronica Mars and psych ourselves up unrealistically for Viva Laughlin.

But I want to know what you think. If each network only gets one awesome show, which are you betting — based on nothing except what you’ve read, and that hot picture of Starbuck — will be a winner?

But those were just the ones that I personally found most intriguing. There were others that might pop off the screen better than they present on the page, especially for people who might not have my particular musical theater/Amy Sherman-Palladino/unrequited love/Katee Sackhoff baises.

And then there were the shows that were just similar enough to create a trend.

I don’t know about you, but I’m cautiously optimistic. There isn’t a single show about cutting up dead people and poking at their bones!

Welcome to the Veronica Mars Irish Wake page. Hope you’re not expecting us to talk about anything else for the next few weeks or so. Already we’ve succumbed to the classic stages:

1. Denial. If you want to get technical, the contract extends through mid-June so there’s a chance it could still get picked up. I’m just not going to worry about it until then. There’s no way they would drop a show with such critical acclaim and such a rabid cult following. That’s just insane.

2. Anger. Are you fucking kidding me, Dawn Ostroff? Have you had one good idea since the creation of this network? Remember that time you decided to have American Eagle sponsor “Aerie Tuesdays” on commerical breaks and awkward teenage girls had awkward conversations about the shows LIVE? Or how you’ve devoted HOURS of CW time to Tyra Banks performing with step teams and running Top Model bootcamp, complete with cammo booty shorts and dog tags? And then you go and effing drop VMars? You’re about to become the exec who cancelled My So-Called Life, or the editor who passed on JK Rowling. I’ll see to it that this follows you to the grave, Dawn, and then I’ll have it put on your tombstone.

3. Bargaining. See commentary here.

4. Depression. Fuck it. Break out the vodka and put “Such Great Heights” and “I Hear The Bells” on repeat. Gonna be a long night.

5. Acceptance… No clue how this one goes. I’ll let you know when I get there.

Okay, Dan/ Maggie/ Kyle… who writes I’m Sick of Your Shit: The CW?

Nothing matters anymore.

• People’s TV critic reimagines the Grey’s Anatomy finale. Because he, apparently, watched it.
• House is going to air after the Super Bowl.
• Find Creed Thoughts here.
• Some girl won America’s Next Top Model.
• Support these big gay shows.
• Is this season one big girls-only, pillow-fighting, hair-styling slumber party.
• The Office’s cast live-blogged the finale.
• Doug E. Fresh and the guy from Police Academy (really!) talk about the beatbox guy from American Idol.
• Fox doesn’t like 24 this season either.
• A video interview with Mr. Creepy himself, Ben from Lost.