It is with equal parts glee and terror that I inform/warn you about the return of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip tonight (though Dan did it first). I take umbrage at the suggestion that I’ve read recently that we the idiotic viewers turned on this show merely because the sketches weren’t funny. First of all, I never turned on this show and continued to watch and talk about it long after my patience with its nonsense ran out. I was and am a “fan.”

Secondly, the unfunniness was a problem, but I found the show’s infuriating lack of perspective and holier-than-thou rants and disgust with the viewing public and tortured unbalanced arguments a much bigger offense. On the other hand, even through all that, it had style, the writing was often strong, and Matthew Perry/Nate Corddry/Steven Weber did hilarious things with what they were given.

Every time I think about that show I start to develop a split personality.

Also, I’m thinking about taking up So You Think You Can Dance, which premieres tonight. Thoughts? Center Stage is one of my all-time favorite movies, after all.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: VH1 airs VH1’s Rock Honors. I have no idea what that means. Is this a real thing? Will awards be handed out? What’s with all the old guys?

Holy crap! Studio 60 is on tonight! Remember that show? The lightning rod, the punching bag — however you want to classify it, you’ll probably watch, right? After all, these will be our final moments with Matt, Danny and the gang before they ride off into the sunset (strip). Zing!

(I’m sorry about that.)

Although we’ve come to the end of the road, still I can’t let you go. It’s unnatural. You belong to me, I belong to you.

So, let’s catch up shall we? Last we saw, Harriet’s been busy at work on the set of a suicidal-rock-star-with-questionably-culpable-female-companion biopic (working title: “We’re so not Kurt and Courtney — look at how British we are! Let’s eat some biscuits on the lift!”). Harriet has a little episode in the middle of the suicide scene where she takes issue with portrayal of her character as a bad guy. Generally, she is kind of being a pain in the ass around the set because she’s distracted by how much she loves Matt. The Studio 60 writers, I think, are starting to get all Grey’s Anatomy by having the professional life mirror the personal life and oh-my-god-it-all-makes-sense-now.

Meh.

So, the hottie lantern-jawed director who is in love with her is being pissy because he’s putting the Matt-related pieces together and that just makes him want to shoot longer and keep her for himself. Danny swings by the set to ask Harriette to come back from the movie set to the show so she can sit around and be Matt’s muse.

At the end of the episode, Harriet shows up at the show and gives Matt a cheek kiss and offers to help him write jokes. And it’s cute? Romantic? Manipulative? It’s… something.

Also, last time there was a lot of commotion going on about a sexual harassment suit brought by a former female employee from forever ago. That seemed to all get resolved within the episode (hopefully it was, it wasn’t all that interesting) and served only to make Matt more jealous and needy with Harriet and to introduce the new foxy blonde attorney. At the end of the episode, she flirtily gives him her card so I guess we’ll be seeing her again.

Elsewhere, in the comic relief subplot, Danny and Jordan’s weirdo courtship is still in full swing (she got knocked up, he fell in love with her and then just stalked away until she gave up — remember the locked on the roof incident?). On the last episode, Jordan charged Danny with taking care of her robot baby. Blah, blah, blah, disaster and robot baby decapitation. Glue that doesn’t work at repairing it and then the jig is up. Nothing’s really happening over there, so things are bound to go wrong/get complicated. Probably soon.

And I think Tom and Lucy are still getting ready to date, even though lots of fake problems arise.

A week from Saturday — polka dot dresses and clap-along anthems.

• Heidi and Spencer from The Hills are engaged. And the Bachelor people talk about how fun it is to be in love. God, everything sucks.
• Lost producer Carlton Cuse talks about one of the biggest moments of last night’s finale.
• And Tim Kring talks about the Heroes finale.
• Someone won AI.
• Veronica Mars: the movie?
• Fox Reality is debuting a show that is basically Police Academy.
• The Queen loves Hugh Laurie.
• Muslims on TV are examined. Not in the passive voice.
• Cracked has the top 15 cartoon theme songs, including Tiny Toons, Ducktales and Talespin.
• Take a look at the new Flash Gordon.
• Jim J. Bullock will have a reality show.
• US Weekly claims that Isaiah Washington is on the outs on Grey’s.
• An interview with Noah from Heroes.