So Horrifying You Can’t Look Away…
Posted by Maggie
June 4th, 2007 at 11:33am
In MTV
…but you really should.
Here are some things that happened on last night’s MTV Movie Awards:
- Instead of the fun, well-produced movie parodies the MTV Movie Awards are known for, MTV decided to become all Web 2.0 and hold a viewer contest for a movie parody. This led to three of the worst movie parodies I have ever had the misfortune to see. Two of them were so bad they made me not want to watch television or speak to humans ever again, and the other was slightly less bad but also pretty offensive (I personally was not offended, but I was also drunk). Luckily the offensive one won. I guess?
- As if they weren’t already affronts to art and mankind, the terrible, terrible clips were introduced by Dane Cook.
- Will Ferrell and Sasha Baron Cohen made out and rolled around on the floor. Whatever. I don’t have the energy to figure out what that means.
- Speaking of straight men pretending to be gay, every time I see anything related to the Worst Idea for a Movie Ever (and there was a lot of Sandler et al in attendance), I lose a little more of my faith in humanity.
- Jack Nicholson won best villain, went on stage, and made everyone feel really, really bad for him by mumbling a lot and trying desperately to be cool. Jack Nicholson is old, you guys. Let the poor man drink his gin in peace.
- Things that were, for the most part, tolerable, and occasionally, quite charming: Sarah Silverman, Jaden Smith and parents, Mike Myers, Shia LaBeouf, Mandy Moore and John Krasinski, Seth Rogen, Human Giant. Everyone else was an ass.
- If the producers knew what was good for them, there would’ve been way more Zac Efron and way less Cameron Diaz. I mean this literally: Cam needs to put on some pants.
- I obviously should’ve given up on this show sooner, but instead I kept drinking. Which led to some inspired proclamations, for example, “Hey, you know what the problem is, Kyle? I figured it out. MTV is the establishment. They’re the man. These are all the cool kids going around talking about how cool they are. This makes me sick.”
I might’ve linked to the Human Giant bits, but I don’t want to encourage anything to do with this event. I feel dirty even talking about it, because I’ve just made some programming exec’s dream come true: “It’ll be totally integrated with web content and strategic marketing, and all the blogs will be talking about it.” Yuck.
I managed to catch a little bit of the end of this and I was pretty agog at how unwatchable it was. I imagine alcohol is the only way to make it bearable.
What made me saddest, however, was seeing John Krasinski up there with Robin Williams, who is really having problem with the whole idea that talking loud and fast doesn’t necessarily make things funny. And that movie — good Christ — it looks horrible with the pissing robot baby.
I only watched the first hour before I gave up and went to bed, but God, that was embarrassing. Jack Nicholson, no. And the only time recreating the best kiss winner has ever worked out to be awesome was the time Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams did it and set everyone’s pants on fire. Before she dyed her hair pink and they broke up.
I liked the Ferrell/Cohen liplock, especially the slow build. And of course, yes, Sarah Silverman, yay! Especially when she would make catty remarks about the show itself.
I didn’t find LeBeouf and the Transformers crew charming, though. They really perfected the MTV awards show approach of getting a bunch of attractive and/or famous people together at the podium and then have them standing around doing nothing (which I think is supposed to seem off-the-cuff).
And you’re dead on about those movie parodies… just awful, awful, awful (though I did giggle at the Spartans rushing the cockpit… and proceeded the fast-forward the rest anyway).
Robin Williams doing his schtick next to John Krasinski made me imagine a great “making of” video on the License to Wed DVD. I picture a lot of Robin Williams frantically mugging and doing funny voices, while the camera pans to John Krasinski who looks straight into the lens and raises his eyebrows.
I tuned in just in time to see Cameron and after about 30 seconds, turned the channel. Why is she still working? Does anyone really like her?