Identity Crisis

Posted by Dan June 5th, 2007 at 10:46am In All Things TV Project Runway Reality

So, Shear Genius came and went.

Hair was cut, some dude won and, I swear to God, I didn’t watch it at all. Okay, well that’s kind of a lie because I walked into the room while it was on once (only once) and caught the end of one of the first few episodes. All I was really able to glean about the show as that there was:

• an Australian woman who looked like she was from space
• a gay boy with labradoodle hair
• some guy who called himself Dr. Boogie and was everything you would expect him would be
• a cast that was made of not-Heidi Klum, not-Michael Kors and sure-as-hell-not-Tim Gunn.

I find the fact that I didn’t get on board with Shear Genius troubling. I mean, I really didn’t even give it the old college ‘I’ll just TiFaux the first episode and see if its any good’ try. I was even a fan of Top Design, which, although it was a pale imitator of Project Runway, had its moments and was generally watchable. So what was it about Shear Genius that just left me cold? I’m normally enthusiastic about all of this crap, but now that I’ve found out the season finale came and went I’m embroiled in an identity crisis.

What have I become?

Shear Genius — what have you done to me?

The way I see it, there could be a few reasons why I never got into it:

1. I’m getting old. As the sands of time keep slipping through my fingers, I’m afraid I’m less drawn to shit-TV and more drawn to investing and/or racquetball. Looking at Theodore (the aforementioned curly-haired gay boy), I found that I wasn’t so much attracted to him. A fresh-faced early twenty-something, I didn’t want to make out with him — I just wanted to lick a paper napkin and wipe some schmutz off his face like he was a seven-year-old messily eating McDonald’s French fries.
2. Perhaps my cultural palette is getting just a bit more sophisticated. Normally, I pride myself on being able to slum it with the best of them. Whereas some enjoy fine dining and $30 plates of organically-grown whatever, I always relish my ability to say “Whatever, man. I’m going to Crapplebees to get an assembly line burger and I’m going to love it!” So, maybe I’m out of the stage of my life where I can watch absolutely anything (case in point: my disavowing of the entire Real World/Road Rules Challenge oeuvre).
3. Maybe I — perish the thought — am just not gay enough to watch a reality show about hair stylists.

I’ve promised myself I won’t worry about it.

I mean, I’m still me — there’s a lot that hasn’t changed. As it is, I’m kind of soiling myself over Bravo’s programming this week — Kathy Griffin starting season three of her reality show plus a new stand-up special. In addition, the new season of Top Chef starts this week. And, yes, I think I’m going to recap it — we’ll see how this goes (I did it once and it seemed to work out okay).