I’m Sick Of Your Shit (Already): Age Of Love
Posted by Cristin
June 25th, 2007 at 05:32pm
In I'm Sick of Your Shit Reality
I will take anything the reality tv community throws at me. I will take Paris and Nicole at summer camp, even though I know that their supporting “counselors” are hired actors. I will take MTV’s brutally agendized portrayal of sorority life, and I will take their starry eyed belief that one day P Diddy will put together a band that people will actually want to listen to. I will take culinary competitions even though you can’t taste food through your tv screen. I will follow the day by day lives of playboy bunnies, little people, professional skateboarders and their oversized best friends; I will root wholeheartedly for people I’ve never met as they follow their dreams of becoming models or fashion designers or pirate masters or backup singers or teenage interns at Seventeen magazine. What I won’t take is any show that makes me want to carve out my ovaries with a rusty spoon (this also applies to the movie Because I Said So, but that’s an issue for another day). I don’t watch reality shows because I need to hate myself for being female, I watch them because I want to see people who have worse lives than I do and feel better about myself as the result of it. I should be able to get that without considering spending the requisite year living as a man before applying to one of the three major sexual reassignment centers in the country.
I feel like this is a subtle, but important distinction—these shows should allow, or even encourage, you to hate specific women. Cami on Laguna Beach, that heinous bitch from the first Apprentice that played the race card at every available opportunity, Janice Dickinson, take your pick. They should not, however, encourage you to hate women en masse. And that’s all that Age of Love does. It picks at the insecurities of women that already have more than enough to go around when it comes to dating, and it turns them into catty, ridiculous, desperate people that you don’t want to meet in a back ally. Show premise here, trying to put it into words is giving me rage. They’re calling the women in their 40s “cougars” and the ones in their 20s “kittens.” That should be enough to get you on my side.
Now’s probably a bad time to make a joke about hot flashes, eh?
Aside from the fact that this preys on every single insecurity that women have, and that they’re relying on an Aussie to decide, ONCE AND FOR ALL, what men really want (without giving him the option of Anonymous Sex, SportsCenter, and Reheated Pasta, so I don’t have a chance to prove the theory I’ve been carefully crafting since freshman year), my main issue with this is the basic helplessness of half the contestants. *If* tectonic plates shift and the planets align and birds start flying backwards and he picks a 40 year old, the women in their 20s can console themselves by saying that they will, someday, be 40, so it’s just a matter of time before they have what men want. But if the sun rises tomorrow and Saturday follows Friday and death and taxes persist and he picks a 20 year old, what do the 40 year olds get to tell themselves? That The Men of the universe have spoken?
We keep our 20 year olds in boxes- they stay fresher that way.
I was wary when Ashton Kutcher coined the reality show term “social experiment,” but he went on to give me Beauty & The Geek and I forgave him. I don’t forgive you, NBC, for this social experiment that can bring no good into the world. Please return me to a steady diet of The Biggest Loser (Puns! The 10 o’clock show is completely different from the 8 o’clock one!) and 30 Rock.
Love,
CRISTIN
6 Comments Add your own
1. L-dawg | June 25th, 2007 at 9:44 pm
I whole heartedly agree with you cristin. I saw the commerical for it and when they said the “cougars” and “kittens” thing I spoke to myself outloud…”You’ve got to be kidding me”. Disgusting.
But these women that go on these shows are the worst.
2.
sara | June 26th, 2007 at 11:31 am
TWoP has been running a poll for a few days about the grossest summer reality show, and except for something called “Fat March” which I can’t find any info on (although really, can it be anything other than chubby people and drill sergeants?), I think this one definitely wins. Ew. Even if they weren’t competing over someone who looks like he hasn’t finished evolving, it’s still gross.
3. Lee | June 26th, 2007 at 12:00 pm
Just a commercial for the TV show gave me nightmares. I had a dream that I was 50 years old – with the exact same life as I have now and no more world experiences – Jr. Programmer, single, roommate, living in queens – but too old to be a cougar. Terrifying.
4. Shivani | September 13th, 2007 at 10:13 am
Just when I think these dumb reality shows cannot get any worse, they come up with progessively retarted ideas. But I definitely agree that this one takes the cake. Can’t say I have seen the show as just the preview was enough to irritate me enough. One thing never fails to amaze me is that they are actually able to find women who want to participate in these degrading shows.
Talk about making money off of women’s insecurities….actually should not surprise me considering when I turned 30 this year, pretty much every single woman that I know sympathized with me instead of congratulating me and some of my guy friends had the galls to say that I was now officially old enough to be a cougar…..AAARRRGGGGH!!! People get it through your heads that maybe some people are happy to be entering a new decade of their life.
5. Diana | July 16th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Stop being jealous little girls!!! These women had you beat in
their teens & 20′s also!!! Women who look great at 20 usually
look great all their lives if they care for themselves.
We have all seen 20 somethings slobs & many of them are so
out of shape it’s nasty!!! Talk about gross,20 year olds who
don’t take care of themselves are gross & talot of 20 somethings
are so busy trying to hook a guy who could care less about them.
Your either born with it or your not! Stop crying & take better care
of yourself!!! If you do,just maybe you’ll look good one day too?
6. Diana | July 16th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
being insecure at any age is unhealthy! If you love your life let it
show.Crying about a 40 something woman taking away what you
can’t have is stupid when you really should try to keep yourself
in shape no matter what your age is & try to get some brains on
you!!! If you don’t take care of your health,body & mind,then it’s
not your age thats the problem,it’s YOU!
Women are sexier as they get older,or they should be.
We have all seen way too many plain jane out of shape twenty
somethings who never had the looks or the body to start with
not even in their teens.Why people think teens are so cute to
look at is beyond most of us since many teens look funny,but
the girls who stay in shape & care for themselves tend to always
look great at any age!!! Grow up & learn to love yourself!!! Get
a life & get in shape!!!
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