Not on the TiFaux Tonight
Posted by Kyle
June 27th, 2007 at 12:57pm
In All Things TV Arrested Development Guilty Pleasures Reality
I’ve been complaining lately that television has abandoned us, but I was just scanning through the programming guide and it turns out that I have abandoned TV. There is a show on like every channel at almost all times. So why is the list of upcoming recordings on our TiFaux Arrested Development on HDNet (even funnier in HD!), The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report? It turns out even though there are lots of things available to watch it’s nothing I want to watch. Here’s a review of the shows I won’t be watching tonight.
ABC’s The Next Best Thing: Who is the Greatest Celebrity Impersonator? No point. It’s Kevin Federline. Zing! Next!
CBS has a repeat of Criminal Minds. Is that the one with Mandy Patinkin? Do I look like I’m 55?
FOX continues So You Think You Can Dance. I don’t think I can dance, so I don’t know why they’re accusing me like this. I saw that Robert Altman dance movie The Company—which had actual good dancers, but a complete lack of situations—and that burned me out for dance-related entertainment for a long time.
Last Comic Standing on NBC. I can’t get behind this one on principle. A competition like this is never going to find good comics. It’s going to find filler for “Comedy Central Presents” shows. My stand-up friend Tim McIntire said it best on his blog: “I would try out if it really was a fight to be the last comic standing. I would definitely want to be on a show where I could hide in the living room and smash comics who are better connected and more telegenic than me in the face with a piece of rebar… It could be like Highlander - if you kill another comic, you get all his jokes, until there really was only one comic standing, with a notebook and a samurai sword, bombing at the Comedy Connection because it’s all tourists.”
PBS has a show called Bear Island which sounds like Stephen Colbert’s worst nightmare. But also kind of cool.
The CW has a new teen soap-opera called Hidden Palms. Which I thought was a porno featuring mostly under-the-table handjobs, but it’s really The O.C. II: Don’t Call it That.
Take that Jackie Harvey!
I am kind of a Last Comic Standing fan. I watched it last season and I’ve been keeping up so far with this one. I like it because, unlike American Idol, I feel qualified to have an opinion, at least. I watched a couple of episodes of American Idol this season and everyone would perform and I would see basically no difference between the ones the judges/audience loved and the ones the judges/audience hated and I would try to work up some kind of reaction but it would never be about singing, because singing by itself is boring; it would be like “Haley *does* have nice legs” or “that guy has no hair. Wait, are there two guys with no hair?”
HOWEVER, I do feel qualified to react to Last Comic Standing and say: this person is good. This person is bad. That said, you still have to sit through shitty comics (like the mom from Greenwich, CT whose best bit goes something like “I am from Greenwich CT, and I am a mom”) making it through and funnier, weirder comics not getting past the first competition.
So basically everything you say is wrong with it is probably wrong with it but it doesn’t slowly bore me into a coma like American Idol and somehow that’s enough to make it my show for the summer (well, that and Degrassi, but you never know when Degrassi’s coming back and then leaving again after a month). So I like it.
But that Greenwich idiot is making it to the finals, bank on it.
Well I am 57 (or as I tend to say fifty-fucking-seven!) and even though i am decrepid I would not watch MP on Criminal minds (but I strongly recommend his CD ‘Experiment’).
Was The Company the one with Neve campbell? I think I fell asleep in that.
Hey, I liked The Company. A little. (Yes, it was the one with Neve Campbell.)
Also, Kyle is a liar! We totally watched So You Think You Can Dance.
Ha! I saw a little of So You Think You Can Dance too. How about those crazy-ass kabuki people?