Who Would Win in a Fight: Keith Mars Vs. Jack Donaghy
Posted by Dan
July 26th, 2007 at 03:20pm
In 30 Rock Veronica Mars Who Would Win in a Fight
In last week’s battle of the German supermodel versus the culinary seductress, it seems that Heidi Klum has pulled out a decisive victory over Padma Lakshmi. I have to admit — this is the first time the person I didn’t vote for has won. I suppose I can see it, though. I probably underestimated Heidi because she’s got that cute button nose.
This week’s match, I predict, is going to be a close one. On the one side we’ve got Veronica Mars’ crime-fighting papa bear Keith Mars. On the other, we’ve got 30 Rock’s gruff but dashing alpha male Jack Donaghy. It’ll be a nail biter, that’s for damn sure.
Keith Mars
Strengths:
- Trained law enforcement officer
- Master of disguise and deception
- Exploits weaknesses
Weaknesses:
- Just a big teddy bear
- Comparatively small in stature
- Common fist fights are unbecoming of an officer of the law
Secret Weapon: Baldness makes him look more old/feeble than he actually is
Jack Donaghy
Strengths:
- Radiates power
- Broadly built/large-ish head
- Irish temper
Weaknesses:
- Not used to insubordination/challenges
- Not so much with the hand-to-hand combat
- Would probably have Kenneth the Page handle the fighting
Secret Weapon: He’ll soothe you with his raspy baritone — and that’s when he will strike!
In this case, I think the stakes really matter. What are they fighting for? If Keith is fighting for Veronica and Jack is fighting for power, that’s a fair match-up. But if Keith is fighting for power and Jack is fighting for Liz Lemon, they’ll probably just both go home and have a drink instead.
If it helps you, here’s a scenario: Veronica goes out to NYC to visit Piz at his fancy music internship. While walking around Manhattan, Jack spies Veronica and takes a liking to the spritely blonde. He approaches her and offers her tickets to a taping (which she reluctantly accepts because the musical guest is Deerhoof and Piz would TOTALLY die to see them play). When they show up at the taping, Jack sets up a meeting with Piz and the band and takes Veronica back to his office. He offers her wine, lavishes her with expensive presents and gratuitous compliments. Just then, Keith bursts through the door (tipped off by a do-gooding Kenneth the Page). Keith must defend Veronica’s honor, Jack won’t have some two-bit sheriff from Neptune stand in the way of him getting what he wants.
And so they throw down…