In recent weeks a certain phrase has risen to #2 on the list of words people search for to get here. #1 on the list is “tifaux” which is not surprising. But #2 is now “lindsay lohan’s well-manicured lady parts” which is surprising, since a) this is not the kind of site that links to such things and 2) it’s so specific. I think MSN’s gossip column coined the phrase but I can’t say for sure. The top result on Google is someone else mystified by all you pervs. And it turns out we show up on the results list because Dan mentioned Lindsay Lohan in a funny headline once, and described a contestant’s fingernails on “Playing it Straight” as “too well manicured?” Both posts show up on the same page on “The Gays” category page. Google figures that’s close enough to a firecrotch shot.

Of course, now I’ve just made the problem worse. Oh well.

Here are the top 15 keywords:

1. tifaux
2. lindsay lohan’s well-manicured lady parts
3. casey “top chef” (We’re #56 for this search. Does Casey have a lot of time on her hands? Spoiler?)
4. soaring flying (natch)
5. tifaux “ip address” (this has been a favorite since the Tournament and all the IP Address discussion. I think it’s people trying to figure out what their Tifaux’s IP address is and not people still mad about the dirty Tournament cheaters. For me on NYC Time Warner Cable all that info is on channel 996.)
6. how tall is cj from top chef (He’s 6′8″ tall!)
7. www.tifaux.com
8. i hate carlos mencia (and who doesn’t?)
9. were soaring (again, no surprise here)
10. mythbusters hd (already discussed)
11. the hills season 2 episode 1
12. lindsay lohan’s well-manicured lady parts. (note the period at the end of the search. Some people make sure they use proper punctuation when searching for dirty pictures of celebrities)
13. how tall is cj on top chef (6′8″)
14. how tall is cj top chef (still 6′8″)
15. john krasinski shirtless

Donald Trump has announced the partial cast for his celebrity edition of The Apprentice. It’s a mixed bag, for sure.

So, here’s a game to play with this news. Below, I have three groups of b and c-listers. Take your pick as to which ones are the real stars and which ones are fakes. The answers, and the link to the article, are after the jump.

The news man: Nancy Grace, Jim Cramer, Willard Scott.

The sexpot: Carmen Electra, Jenny McCarthy, Angie Everhart.

The comedian: Joan Rivers, Mario Cantone, Dennis Miller.

The singer: Naomi Judd, Jewel, Shelby Lynne.

The celebrated athlete: Sugar Ray Leonard, Jackie-Joyner Kersee, George Foreman.

The fame leech: Nikki Hilton, Kimora Lee Simons, Brody Jenner.

The shamed athlete: Darryl Strawberry, Pete Rose, Jose Canseco.

The extreme sports person: Tony Hawk, Shaun White, Picabo Street.

Wild card: Reichen Lehmkuhl, Jeff Gordon, Jason Priestly.

Oh mah Gah!

You’ll never guess who just got cast for a small-ish arc on Heroes!  Well, you probably can if you pay any attention to who we obsess over here at TiFaux.  But are you ready?

None other than our sassy teen detective, Kristen Bell!

I can’t say anything that Maggie hasn’t already said about High School Musical 2: Havana Nights. But I can cop to the fact that I spent the first hour of my workweek scouring YouTube to get my HSM fix, and came up with the “official video” for breakout hit “I Don’t Dance,” which incorporates nearly every player I’ve ever had on any fantasy baseball team of mine. Plus Bronson Arroyo. Plenty of Jose Reyes high fives, plus David Wright exactly as I like to think of him: Sliding into home.

In case you’re not a subscriber to CosmoGirl magazine, you might not have heard that last year’s wildly popular original Disney movie High School Musical released a sequel on Friday — the sure to be even more wildly popular High School Musical 2. If you know nothing of these cultural touchstones, I can explain them using a simple analogy.

High School Musical:Grease::High School Musical 2:Dirty Dancing

Remove all the sex from the older movies, and you’ve got your fair approximations. Overall, HSM Part Deux: Electric Boogaloo was an improvement on the first. Considering they made the first one for about $5 and a sandwich, and then it went on to become the bestselling album of 2006, they had a little more to work with this time around. The songs are peppy and better produced. The choreography is fun. And Ryan is vindicated! Hooray Ryan! Our hero!

There were two numbers that our viewing party knew immediately would be the breakout hits. One was the baseball song, ironically titled “I Don’t Dance.” It’s genius in every way. The other is Troy’s big number, “Bet On It.” Troy is played by Zac Efron, and right now, he’s the hottest thing in pre-teen crushes. He’s huge. Witness, these comments. His solo number was bound to be the hit of the evening, and this one delivers.

“Bet On It” incorporates/borrows/appropriates so many cultural references, by the third time we had rewound to savor the cheesy goodness, I was taking notes. See if you can think of any I missed.

• With his all-black ensemble, shaggy hair, and blue eyes — and with the subtext of the song, which is all about whether or not Troy’s going to be a good friend or continue being a jerk (embracing the Dark Side, so to speak) — Troy resembles Luke Skywalker to a scary degree. Later in the song, stumbling upon a rocky pool, I could swear he was about to raise a X-wing out of the water with his mind.
• In that same segment of the song, Troy sings to his reflection in the pool. My immediate thought: The Lion King, Simba talking to his dead father.
• Any time anyone walks and snaps their fingers in time they automatically owe royalties to West Side Story.
• Similarly, the leaps through the air and the long shots of him dancing his merry way along the path bring to mind a former teen classic that they’re talking about remaking, Footloose.
• At one point, Troy leaps from a grassy spot of the golf course into a new shot, which features craggy rocks with weeds sprouting out of crevices. The abrupt change in locale and his dogged insistence on moving forward bring to mind our heroes in The Lord of the Rings. Almost expected him to jump into a snow-covered mountain next.
• The song itself: Justin Timberlake junior.
• The sweeping crane shots of Troy singing his blessed heart out, with mountains in the background, sadly reminded me of the absolute worst/funniest part of the movie version of Rent — Roger’s Bon Jovi video version of “What You Own.”
• When Troy picks up some sand and tosses it to the ground: a little David Copperfield, no?
• I also saw snippets of Michael Jackson, Karate Kid, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Creed’s Arms Wide Open video. And much more, I’m sure.

Disney seems to be pretty tightly monitoring the YouTube situation, so I can’t find a link to this particular number. I’ll keep my eye out, though, so I can share this special experience with you all. In the meantime, just try to mash up all those things I listed. You’ll get a pretty accurate picture.

ETA: