Cass has been around for a few months now, chiming in on Top Chef, etc. She runs a blog called Starred Review, where she writes reviews of completely disparate things/experiences/people. It’s really great idea for a blog.

And here she goes…

Vitals

Name: cass
Location: brooklyn, ny
Web Site: www.starredreview.blogspot.com
What’s your story?: a friend and i write content for our review blog in our spare time, and we talk about tv endlessly
What do you do during the day?: writing a novel
How do you know about TiFaux?: eek, i can’t remember. but i probably hooked up to you guys through televisionary.blogspot.com
Why are you so interesting?: this question stresses me out too much to answer, i’m way too modest and shy…and interesting

Favorites

Movie: real genius, i heart huckabees, the goonies (never gets old)
Music: andrew bird, iron & wine, rosie thomas, cat power
Book: extremely close and incredibly loud, you shall know our velocity, east of eden, on the road
Food: m&m blizzards, egg/ham/cheese crepes, risotto
Web Site (besides TiFaux — don’t be a kissass): cutewithchris.com, iguessimfloating.blogspot.com, thesartorialist.blogspot.com, gofugyourself.typepad.com, fashioni.st

Television

The best show currently on television is: it’s always sunny in philadelphia
But my all-time favorite is: gilmore girls before amy left
I’m pained to admit it, but the show I secretly love is: one tree hill (it’s so bad it’s entertaining in its badness)
Whose shit are you sick of?: paris and LiLo
Most cherished childhood television memory: staying up late and sitting on the floor of my parents bedroom to watch the cagney & lacey episode where lacey had her baby.
Which TV character/personality would you most like to have a tryst with?: ben (scott speedman) from felicity
Kill, boff, marry — Jack Shepherd (Lost), Peter Petrelli (Heroes), Michael Bluth (Arrested Development): kill michael, marry jack and boff peter
Kill, boff, marry — Starbuck (Battlestar Galactica), Heidi Klum (Project Runway), Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother): kill starbuck (i don’t watch BG), boff heidi and marry lilly

I haven’t done this feature in a while. Remember when I said it was going to be on Thursdays? Hell, remember when I said I’d be recapping Top Chef?

Ha!

Anyways, I’ll resurrect this little feature by proposing a three-way (I know what you’re thinking — “Dan, that’s your solution to everything.”). But here we go, are you ready?

Who would win in a fight between Food Network’s Molto Mario, High School Musical’s Zac “Troy” Efron and Arrested Development’s G.O.B. Bluth?

Here’s a round-up of the contenders:

Mario Batali: Don’t let his teddy bear face fool you — Molto Mario would tear you in half if he ever got the chance. Like most chefs, he is skilled with a knife and knows anatomy. He’ll exploit his competitors’ weak parts in order to go for the kill. In addition, he’s got 150 and 100 pounds on Efron and Bluth, respectively. I’m conjuring a very specific image of Mario walking around, butcher knives in both hands, with Efron clinging to one leg and Bluth to the other. Batali’s weaknesses, however, lie in his strengths — his size means less agility and heavy, lumbering steps. He’s more likely to get winded mid-battle.

Zac Efron: Sure, he’s skinny. Sure, he’s young. But Zac Efron is a dancer. He’s got the best six pack of all the competitors (seriously, Google image him). I can imagine him darting between Bluth and Batali, quickly shooting between their legs and leaping on their backs, putting them in sleeper holds. That said, if Batali lands a punch, then it’s all over. Also, Efron’s orangish hue will make it hard to blend in if there is a Predator-like game of cat and mouse in the jungle.

G.O.B. Bluth: He may not be the strongest or the quickest, but as far as pure fearlessness, neither Efron or Batalie can match Bluth. Think of the possessed look in his eye when performing his magic. Think of him riding on his Segway, unsheathing his sword. Would you want to go up against that? Because I wouldn’t. Of course, as far as technical fighting skills go, I can’t imagine Bluth has that much to offer. But he’d probably play dirtier than either Batali or Efron, which is worth something.

Happy New Year, everyone.

• People lists the eight hottest dudes on fall TV.
• Jodie Sweetin (aka Stephanie Tanner) is preggers.
• Top Chef contestant Josie was the victim of an anti-gay hate crime.
• The Emmys will censor Kathy Griffin’s acceptance speech, canceling out the only the only thing anyone would actually want to see on the telecast.
• Jon Stewart to host the Oscars again?
• In her latest indignity, Joan Rivers will now be live-blogging the Emmy red carpet.
• Chris Parnell is joining the cast of Miss/Guided.
• There’s going to be a little person on I Love New York 2.
• A new Ask Ausiello’s up.