Do you like to be proven right in quantifiable, competitive ways? Do you like strategy and the internet and television?

Then you’re just like me and you’re going to want to sign up for Television Without Pity’s new TV Big Shot game as soon as their server stops crashing from all the excitement right now. It’s fantasy baseball for TV nerds!

I managed to create an ID before all hell broke loose, so look out for the channel TiFauxMaggie once things are back up this very minute. Come compete against me… if you dare. I’m going to RULE this nerdy internet awesomeness. Basically, I’ll never work again.

Hello and welcome back to Tonight on the TiFaux. I’m going to buckle down, now that summer is over, and try to provide you with your (extremely personally biased) daily viewing recommendations. Not meant to be comprehensive; feel free to comment with additions if you’re feeling like I’m ignoring something awesome. (I want to learn!) This will usually get posted around 2:00 PM, for when you’re starting to get tired and looking forward to going home and relaxing. At least, that’s the idea.

Prison Break starts its 3rd season tonight. They’re not still escaping from prison, are they? This is one of those shows I’m relieved I never started to watch.

That’s followed by the premiere of K-Ville (left), Fox’s New Orleans cop show. Eh. I don’t know. I get the sense it’s like The Wire Lite. I’ll stick with The Wire.

Then there’s the Pick-Up Artist! Eeeee! I could not be more excited! Especially now that Pradeep is gone! God, I hated that little twerp! Read this for more genuine Mystery weirdness!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: You know, I may not do this any more. I like how it makes the posts look like they have smashing, pithy endings, but it’s really hard, y’all. Also, at this point, we barely have any regularly scheduled programming, so isn’t it greedy to want something off the beaten track?

News is here now. Rejoice.

• Kathy Griffin actually got to go on Ellen. Click here to watch her appearance on YouTube (it’s in two parts). Plus, set your TiFauxs to tape Larry King tonight — Kathy will be on to talk about her Emmy speech, etc. (Listen to the Emmy speech here)
• Speaking of Ellen, Neil Patrick Harris went on her show and talked about not having to hide his boyfriend at the Emmys.
• Watch the Chuck premiere online.
• Psych got renewed.
• Sally Field’s okay with her speech getting bleeped.
• iTunes is making enemies. Now, Fox is thinking about pulling out.
• Salon gives the Buffy Award to Friday Night Lights, deeming it the year’s most under appreciated show.
• Television Without Pity interviews Pete from 30 Rock.
• And then there’s this:
  

The Emmys are a dark, twisted, not-at-all-in-touch-with-reality version of what’s “quality” television. Everyone knows this. And yet, they’re not all bad…

30 Rock! 30 Rock! 30 Rock!

After all the frustration of the 3+ hours of miniseries and made-for-TV movies that no one cares about and the puzzling winners and the singing salute to to the Sopranos, it was a relief to see Tina up on stage self-deprecating and getting her just desserts.

Other than that, the whole thing was kind of painful. We started watching half an hour late, but that wasn’t nearly enough time on the ol’ TiFaux to fast-forward past everything we wanted to fast-forward.

Highlights:

• I kind of enjoyed the gladiator-style, possible cage-match, summer production of All’s Well That Ends Well-esque in-the-round set. Easier to spy on the people in the background.
• Steve Carrell, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert.
• Colbert loses to Tony Bennett — what old man singing is going to beat him next year? Can’t wait to hear what he’s going to say about it.
• “It’s HIGH-GUL, actually.”
• Elaine Strich.
• Kristen Bell sitting next to Masi Oka.

Lowlights:

• Ryan Seacrest.
• Jersey Boys musical tribute to the Sopranos. WHY was this necessary?
• Poor Masi Oka having to talk to Tom from MySpace. Ugh. Also, Kristen Bell looked really bored.
• Lewis Black. Irritating. Not funny.
• Why are there so many awards for mini-series and made-for-TV movies? I counted about 87. No one watches mini-series and made-for-TV movies. The same three kept getting called up. BORING.
• NPH and Rainn Wilson got robbed. By Jeremy Piven.
• I don’t know. Everything else, I guess.