Yeah, you heard me right, suckers!

We’re proud to announce our first DVD giveaway. It’s a real life giveaway, with a real life prize, sponsored by a real life publicist named Chrissy. Hi Chrissy!

The prize for the giveaway is copy of Nip/Tuck Season 4. The new season premieres Oct. 30 at 10:00 on FX.

To enter, just leave a comment on this post and be sure to include your e-mail address just go ahead and e-mail us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Nip/Tuck.” The contest ends in two weeks, so that’d be Oct. 10. You can only enter once, of course. And don’t try to beat the system, because Kyle will find you out and then there will be hell to pay!

Hell! To pay!

Also, publicists of the world, we’re happy to host your giveaways. As well as receive things ourselves. E-mail us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com.

Julian. The white sunglasses. Seriously?

The package includes:

• Clever Casting: The Seasons Guest Stars
• Sizzle: The Sexuality of Nip/Tuck
• The Cutting Edge: How Real-Life Dramas Are Incorporated into the Show
• Additional Scenes
• Deleted Scenes
• Featurette
• Gag Reel

I have to admit, Nip/Tuck is a show I’ve always wanted to get into, but just haven’t had the opportunity. Seriously. Want proof? I totally mentioned it in the post I wrote about Weeds.

So, what do I know about Nip/Tuck? Little to nothing. I know that Mario Lopez’s nekkid guest appearance sent the gay blog circuit on fire (don’t click the link if you don’t like looking at butts). I know that there was something about a serial killer a couple seasons ago and they did this big MySpace promotion about it.

Instead of just giving you the standard summary, I’ll tell you what I think Nip/Tuck is about, along with some extrapolation that I’ve just made up. If you want the official summary, it’s after the jump.

Nip/Tuck is about two LA plastic surgeons played by Dylan Walsh and Julian McMahon (note: see, I’ve already got that wrong — they’re from South Beach). Julian’s character is named Noah (wrong again, his name’s Christian. Okay, I’ll stop correcting myself) who is a wealthy playboy who will sleep with anything that moves. And is a woman. I’d like to think there was a short-lived bicurious story arc, but I don’t really know that that happened. Whereas Noah is an extravagant party boy, Dylan Walsh’s character, Tyler, is a staid family man. His wife makes dinner and his kids, Amber and Jean-Claude dote upon him.

The series follows the surgeons as they face a parade of wacky clients wanting their bulgy parts bulgier and their loose parts tighter. This is a clever vehicle for fun guest stars including Rosie O’Donnell, who plays a woman who wants to have her leg amputated for fun like those people in that documentary Whole.

This picture is of the doctors on a quiet night hanging out at their nurse, Irene’s house. Irene and her son like to watch reruns of Mr. Belvedere and make popcorn. The doctors kindly indulge her family ritual.

This picture is of Noah at a blind date that ends up being with one of his clients. The one where the lady had little silicon horns put in her forehead because she is trying to become a circus freak. Next stop, having her teeth drilled into little fangs!

Okay. That’s enough of that. If you’d like to read what the show is really about, find out after the jump. Good luck!

So, Kid Nation: I caught the re-run on Saturday night (what? I was waiting to go out), and it was very well-done. It nails that icky feeling you get watching the best reality TV shows, where you hate what’s happening and don’t want to watch but end up invested and curious despite yourself.

Obviously I relate strongly to Sophia, the overachieving bossy 14-year-old. I’m hoping she’s going to develop a thing for Greg, the 15-year-old troublemaker. That’s what I would’ve done, thus deeply embarrassing myself on national television. Thank you, world, for letting me avoid that fate. Final thought: Alex, the one-toothed Asian 9-year-old, is the cutest kid ever.

The Bionic Woman premieres tonight on NBC. It’s got all that Battlestar Galactica writer credibility (and Katee Sackhoff, of course), but it seems like something’s not quite clicking in to place. The advance reviews haven’t been as glowing as they should be. Nonetheless, I’ll be watching, hoping for a Battlestar-like success.

Gossip Girl continues its shenanigans tonight. The pilot was full of some entertaining nonsense. The actor playing Dan Humphries misread a line, though, and I’ve hated him ever since. (Yes, I hold grudges like this. Learn to act, people!) I think that might be a problem going forward, as he’s set up to be the only sympathetic character in a sea of narcissistic snobs.

Gossip Girl and Bionic Woman share a time slot, which means that I have a legitimate, iron-clad excuse not to watch Private Practice, the Grey’s Anatomy spin-off. Thank you, TiFaux, for only being able to record two shows at a time and so thus making that decision for me!

After that, however, I will be taping Dirty Sexy Money. I’m hoping it can get past its terrible, terrible title, but I’m not expecting much. I’m happy to give Peter Krause a shot, though.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: I’m going to be lazy and suggest The War on PBS again. Ken Burns, you’ve really saved my ass this week.

It’s probably way too soon to turn this in to a proper examination, on par with The Truth-Telling Anti-Hero Asshole With a Heart of Gold or The Persnickety Hero-Genius, but the similarities between Reaper’s Sam and Chuck’s Chuck (and, in a subcategory, Reaper’s Sock and Chuck’s Morgan) are just too many and obvious to ignore.

Chuck is nerd who suddenly becomes a human computer, with government secrets locked away in his brain. Sam is a nerd who suddenly becomes the devil’s henchman, ferreting souls back into the underworld. Though each of these shows have only aired pilots, it is clear that Chuck and Sam share some defining characteristics.

1. The Lack of a Life Plan. Chuck works at the Nerd Herd of a Best Buy type of place, and Sam works as a stockboy at a Home Depot type of place. They probably run into each other in the parking lot all the time. Neither job is particularly fulfilling for our protagonists, but they don’t really have any other ideas.
2. The Troubles With Women. Chuck hasn’t had a girlfriend since his college girlfriend went for his roommate. Sam didn’t go to college, and so doesn’t even have that to fall back on. Beautiful/traumatized women remain juuuuust out of reach: Chuck’s spy friend who’s spy boyfriend just died, and Sam’s co-worker friend whose father’s death keeps Sam at bay.
3. The Incalculably Worse Off Best Friend. Sock is a Jack Black/Jonah Hill/Kevin Smith best bud, always ready with an off-color remark. Morgan is less of a well-defined type, but equally hopeless. Both of these best friends are pretty much the only reason Sam and Chuck can go on living.
4. The Comically Inappropriate Superpower. Chuck’s brain is a computer! Or something! The point is, he can predict terrorism. Sort of. Sam works for the devil! Which means he has the Force! I mean, duh, right?
5. The Immense Difficulty of Their Task. Both dudes are completely unprepared for fighting crime or hell’s escapees. But no doubt they will find themselves learning a little something about themselves in the process.
6. The Secrets That Will Tear Us Apart. Of course, if everyone knew about these superpowers, they’d freak out and probably do something crazy. So Sam and Chuck must keep some things to themselves. Chuck’s lady friend knows but no one else, and Sam can tell his slacker buddies and no one else. I predict that this secrecy will not last long; they’ve got to get their Scooby gang together eventually.

Though they’re both nerds, Chuck is more of a smart nerd and Sam is more of a slacker nerd. This may explain why, in the end, I like Chuck more (both the show and the character). In the pilots, both shows were trying really, really hard to be funny, but I think I laughed more at Chuck. Reaper has the crude Apatow/Kevin Smith thing going for it, but I liked the occasional sweetness of Chuck, and the action sequences were far more well-thought-out and executed.

However, it would be foolish to underestimate the impact of Ray Wise as the devil. I like Adam Baldwin all right, but he needs thirty years and a history of unstable characters to reach Ray Wise’s level of menace.

It will be interesting to see which show prevails in the long-term (if either — or, perhaps, both). And who knows, maybe when (if) they complete their seasons, they won’t even have that much in common any more, and I’ll have to revisit this concept.

There are a lot of denture commercials on daytime TV.

• Maya Rudolph to the world: “Ha, ha. J/K. LOL. I’m staying on SNL. OMG.”
• Timothy Hutton will try to make a go of TV after Kidnapped by making a TNT pilot.
• Jack Bauer’s next mission: find an effing designated driver.
• Tina Fey talks to the New York Times.
• Your cable company might be participating in Showtime’s free preview weekend, which will allow you to see the season premieres of Dexter and Brotherhood.
• James Marsters will be coming to Smallville this season.
• Jillian, the trainer from The Biggest Loser, talks about why she took a season off.
• Game time — America’s Next Top Model winner/train wreck Adrianne Curry has declared war on which of the following: leggings, Black History Month, Charlie Sheen, the state of Idaho. Click here to find out the answer.
• CBS is tweaking Cane to appease a real life Cuban sugar cane family.
• BET is changing toward a more “mature” direction.
• Nashville is getting yanked.
• John From Cincinnati is now on Friday Night Lights.