It’s probably way too soon to turn this in to a proper examination, on par with The Truth-Telling Anti-Hero Asshole With a Heart of Gold or The Persnickety Hero-Genius, but the similarities between Reaper’s Sam and Chuck’s Chuck (and, in a subcategory, Reaper’s Sock and Chuck’s Morgan) are just too many and obvious to ignore.

Chuck is nerd who suddenly becomes a human computer, with government secrets locked away in his brain. Sam is a nerd who suddenly becomes the devil’s henchman, ferreting souls back into the underworld. Though each of these shows have only aired pilots, it is clear that Chuck and Sam share some defining characteristics.

1. The Lack of a Life Plan. Chuck works at the Nerd Herd of a Best Buy type of place, and Sam works as a stockboy at a Home Depot type of place. They probably run into each other in the parking lot all the time. Neither job is particularly fulfilling for our protagonists, but they don’t really have any other ideas.
2. The Troubles With Women. Chuck hasn’t had a girlfriend since his college girlfriend went for his roommate. Sam didn’t go to college, and so doesn’t even have that to fall back on. Beautiful/traumatized women remain juuuuust out of reach: Chuck’s spy friend who’s spy boyfriend just died, and Sam’s co-worker friend whose father’s death keeps Sam at bay.
3. The Incalculably Worse Off Best Friend. Sock is a Jack Black/Jonah Hill/Kevin Smith best bud, always ready with an off-color remark. Morgan is less of a well-defined type, but equally hopeless. Both of these best friends are pretty much the only reason Sam and Chuck can go on living.
4. The Comically Inappropriate Superpower. Chuck’s brain is a computer! Or something! The point is, he can predict terrorism. Sort of. Sam works for the devil! Which means he has the Force! I mean, duh, right?
5. The Immense Difficulty of Their Task. Both dudes are completely unprepared for fighting crime or hell’s escapees. But no doubt they will find themselves learning a little something about themselves in the process.
6. The Secrets That Will Tear Us Apart. Of course, if everyone knew about these superpowers, they’d freak out and probably do something crazy. So Sam and Chuck must keep some things to themselves. Chuck’s lady friend knows but no one else, and Sam can tell his slacker buddies and no one else. I predict that this secrecy will not last long; they’ve got to get their Scooby gang together eventually.

Though they’re both nerds, Chuck is more of a smart nerd and Sam is more of a slacker nerd. This may explain why, in the end, I like Chuck more (both the show and the character). In the pilots, both shows were trying really, really hard to be funny, but I think I laughed more at Chuck. Reaper has the crude Apatow/Kevin Smith thing going for it, but I liked the occasional sweetness of Chuck, and the action sequences were far more well-thought-out and executed.

However, it would be foolish to underestimate the impact of Ray Wise as the devil. I like Adam Baldwin all right, but he needs thirty years and a history of unstable characters to reach Ray Wise’s level of menace.

It will be interesting to see which show prevails in the long-term (if either — or, perhaps, both). And who knows, maybe when (if) they complete their seasons, they won’t even have that much in common any more, and I’ll have to revisit this concept.

There are a lot of denture commercials on daytime TV.

• Maya Rudolph to the world: “Ha, ha. J/K. LOL. I’m staying on SNL. OMG.”
• Timothy Hutton will try to make a go of TV after Kidnapped by making a TNT pilot.
• Jack Bauer’s next mission: find an effing designated driver.
• Tina Fey talks to the New York Times.
• Your cable company might be participating in Showtime’s free preview weekend, which will allow you to see the season premieres of Dexter and Brotherhood.
• James Marsters will be coming to Smallville this season.
• Jillian, the trainer from The Biggest Loser, talks about why she took a season off.
• Game time — America’s Next Top Model winner/train wreck Adrianne Curry has declared war on which of the following: leggings, Black History Month, Charlie Sheen, the state of Idaho. Click here to find out the answer.
• CBS is tweaking Cane to appease a real life Cuban sugar cane family.
• BET is changing toward a more “mature” direction.
• Nashville is getting yanked.
• John From Cincinnati is now on Friday Night Lights.

Before I had really thought out this review, I thought I really hated Aliens in America. But I had this great intro:

What do Mother Theresa and the premiere of the new CW show Aliens in America have in common?

They both had good intentions and neither were very funny.

Well, I suppose that’s not fair. I have no evidence ole’ Ma Theresa couldn’t let fly a sizzling one-liner.

Since then, though, I’ve had a change of heart. The show that I initially thought was crass and cheap play on the “naive ethnic character” genre, turned out to be a somewhat funny (and somewhat preachy) show.

The set-up for Aliens, which debuts Monday, goes like this: Justin Tolchuk is an awkward social outcast in a suburban high school. Skinny and friendless, his well-meaning parents decide to take in a British exchange student, hoping that it will be a 17-year-old Jude Law who can impart social skills upon the lad. Unfortunately, when they get to the airport it’s not mini-Jude at all, but a gawky, Pakistani Muslim teen. Their surprise is demonstrated by a score of shrill, tribal ethnic wails. Apparently, the family Tolchuk is made up of racists, so they waste little time before conspiring to send him back. However, not before Justin begins to grow attached to him.

Upon a second viewing, Aliens in America wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought the first time around. Dare I say, it really didn’t deserve the 1 I gave it in the Fall TV Preview.

The reason why Aliens initially left a bad taste in my mouth was because it seemed to be playing on cheap ethnic stereotypes for laughs. At first, I hadn’t seen any of the press surrounding the show (before I tuned in, I thought the show could have conceivably been about actual aliens from Mars) and, therefore, didn’t realize that the entire point of the show is to spread a cheery, Up With People message. So, upon first viewing, it seemed like the parents were supposed to be the sympathetic characters — they wanted a suave Brit, but got a wacky, dark-skinned, achkan-wearing Pakistani. The character of Raja seemed familiar — like a 21st century Balki Bartokomous and his naive antics were played out.

I truly didn’t get it.

Upon a second viewing, though, I was able to watch it without balking at what I had initially perceived as Raja’s clownishness. The latte liberal in me took over for a while and I didn’t necessarily fully appreciate some of the funnier moments — particularly the classroom scene with the clueless teacher, the expressive performance by Amy Pietz (the mother character) and Raja’s reflections on tooth-brushing.

I haven’t made a complete turn-around, though. Once you realize what they’re doing, the show’s message seems a little forced. I’m not necessarily excited about tuning into a sitcom that serves as my overbearing weekly reminder to be nice to all the multi-hued people of the world. Furthermore, this Associated Press article talks about how “a small minority” of critics complained that the show makes Americans seem bigoted and stupid. I might be inclined join that tiny chorus, as I was shocked at just how mean and rude the mother was to Raja. In fact, around town the kid seemed to be universally disliked from the outset.

But I suppose that when you’re not used to hanging around stupid, racist people, you tend to think they don’t exist. Shrug.

Like almost all pilots, I’m curious to see how Aliens in America develops over the course of several episodes. The writers can’t rely on Raja’s sweet and naive misunderstandings week after week and, potentially, season after season without turning into the “What has that craaaazy Pakistani done this week?!” show.

PS – if I got to re-rate the show I’d give it a 3.5. You couldn’t do halvsies on that survey, but whatever.

Shows we’re not watching that premiere tonight: Bones, Dancing with the Stars, NCIS, The Unit, Boston Legal, Cane, Law and Order: SVU. This proves it — I don’t watch all that much TV!

Returning show we are watching: House. Word on the street is that Cameron, Chase, and Foreman aren’t in this episode at all. Word on the other street is that eventually Kal Penn will show up (not tonight, but soon). I am beyond excited about this, partly because I’m picturing Kumar and House getting high together, engaging in a hilarious battle of wits, and then making everyone else uncomfortable with some racially insensitive jokes.

New show we are watching: Reaper. The buzz on this has been great, and it has the best one-sentence summary of any of this season’s new shows: 21-year-old finds out his parents sold his soul to the devil. Also, the devil is Ray Wise. That’s a recipe for success right there.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: Ken Burns’ The War continues on PBS, for some good old fashioned learning about history.

The news will be late all week this week. I’m sleeping in.

• Maya Rudolph has left SNL, leaving Kristin Wiig and Amy Poehler as the only ladies left.
• Aliens in America and Life is Wild will stream online before they debut.
• Mama Petrelli talks to TV Guide.
• GLAAD is, unsurprisingly, underwhelmed by the number of gay people on TV.
• Spoiler chat with E-Kristin.
• And, she does a video interview with John Krasinski (shirtless) and Will Arnett. Not really shirtless.
• Our TV screens are getting covered with more and more annoying-ass pop-up ads.
• Friend of the Faux John Walker writes about Kid Nation.
• Comedian Rich Hall is the real life basis for Moe the Bartender.
• Breaking from the NYT: People judge you by what you watch.
• The Biggest Loser has already been renewed.
• Take a look at a whole lot of blonde as Kristen Bell, Hayden P. (I hate looking up how to spell her last name) and Ali Larter pose for TV Guide.
• Mo’Nique will be causing trouble on Ugly Betty.

That was a lot of television last night. I don’t think I can keep up this pace, frankly.

I found Chuck delightful. The plot requires several major suspensions of disbelief, but if you go with it, there are some funny moments. Personally, I decided halfway through that Chuck is just psychic, and they’re living in a world where computers work differently than they do in the real world. It’s a true action comedy, where the action itself is funny and doesn’t seem like it’s shoehorned in from a different show. Besides, any show that pulls off a joke about a ninja assassin with a vendetta is a-okay in my book.

Heroes was its usual Heroes mix: There were two storylines I thought were promising, one that was boring, and one that was awesome. You’ll have to decide for yourself which was which. This is not to say that Heroes isn’t great. I love Heroes. The ending, in the container… amazing. Can’t wait to see what’s going to happen.

Mandy Moore has finally found a role worthy of her awesomeness, and it is a tattooed bad girl on How I Met Your Mother. Though I occasionally find the sentimentality cloying, when that show works, it really works. Excellent season premiere.

The Pick-Up Artist. Brady’s make-over on his student? Absolutely amazing. I was shocked. But also relieved at the outcome. And as much as I love that show, I’m so glad it’s over. I can’t take the tension any longer.

And then I started watching Journeyman this morning. Meh. When Monday night is filled with that much entertainment, the weakest link must go. And it just felt like territory that The Time-Traveler’s Wife did much more thoroughly and interestingly several years ago.

Care to argue with me?

Recently, TiFaux was asked to participate in a Fall TV Preview with a number of other bloggers including our pals Vance and Liz. The whole shebang was hosted by The TV Addict and Tapeworthy.

Now let me begin my defense — you’ll see a lot of N/As in our column. All I can say is I did my best to procure sneak previews of the fall season (the good folks at CBS are the only ones who sent me screeners) on a somewhat short notice. But we got about a third of ‘em, and I figure that’s okay.

I was pretty severe on the comedies (I’m a little baffled that not everyone hated Aliens in America as much as me), although I was feeling weirdly merciful in giving Big Bang Theory a 2.

LEGEND
1 – Don’t waste your time unless you find According to Jim funny
2 – Not great but at least doesn’t offend me.
3 – Fun to watch if nothing else is on.
4 – Has potential. Worth a second look.
5 – Set your TiVo to Season’s Pass!
N/A – Haven’t watched yet.

If you’d like to check out the Web sites of the other participants, here they are: BuzzSugar, DaemonsTV, DuckyDoesTV, GiveMeMyRemote, GlowyBox, MikeyLikesTV, ScooterMcGavin, SillyPipeDreams, Seat42f, TapeWorthy, theTVaddict and TubeTalk

The highlight of this very busy night will hopefully be Heroes. In case you’ve forgotten, Peter and Nathan have totally exploded out in space, Hiro is in old-timey Japan, Sylar is making friends with sewer cockroaches, and everybody else is just kind of chilling. Oh yeah, some of them are shot. But otherwise they’re doing all right, all things considered.

Chuck occupies the slot before Heroes, and I’m certainly curious. It sounds just goofy enough to be delightful, but it’s the type of thing that could veer into cheesy and painful territory before the first commercial break. We’ll see. I’ve invested a lot into it on TV Big Shot, so I’m hoping for the best.

Journeyman, the not-Quantum Leap, sort-of-rip-off of The Time Traveler’s Wife premieres after Heroes. Sweet time slot. I’m still betting it’s one of the first shows of the year to get canceled.

In the season premiere of How I Met Your Mother, Ted is on the market again. Come on, ladies, who wants a needy, demanding, clingy, impulsive-in-a-bad-way boyfriend? No? Well, at least Barney and Lily and Marshall will be there.

And it’s the GRAND FINALE of one of the GREATEST REALITY PROGRAMS of our TIME, The Pick-Up Artist. I’m rooting for Kosmo, because Brady is kind of a dick. I hated what he said to that stripper last week. There is a fine line between well-delivered neg and being a douchebag, and he crossed it. Also, Kosmo is remarkable. He has no filter; he lets everything out — and what’s inside him tends to be quite likable.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: I just wanted to point out that due to the miracle of TiFaux, you don’t actually have to watch all of this at once. Huzzah!

Previously on The Hills: I spent a lot of time coming up with those fake Leader of the Pack lyrics so you’d better damn well appreciate them.

I’ve clearly already hit the wall with this show, as I’m now 4 recaps behind and have only been brought to life by the trailers for this week’s episode that show Heidi in a wedding dress. OMGWTFLOL. And if you spend as much time as I do in the News Stand section of Borders, or as much money as I do subscribing to magazines that would make me look slightly pervy were I not currently working in what might vaguely be described as “teen media,” you already know that this clash of titans is going on in the magazine aisle of your local CVS or strip club or wherever you frequent to get your jollies:

What an exceptional role model. Next month: Miss Teen South Carolina.

My circulation rate’s much higher, biatch, so suck it. (Heidi’s note: Wait, that’s not true. I’ve slept with WAY more guys than Lauren has).

Meanwhile, Teen magazine has Vanessa Hudgens talking about how she stays grounded on their cover. You lose, Teen.

This episode opens with Heidi and Spencer getting her ring sized, since he didn’t bother to find out what ring size she was before proposing. I’m not entirely sure how boys are supposed to do this, since most girls I know don’t even know their own ring sizes, and whenever someone mentions ring sizing I always think of Little Women and how they talk about stealing a lady’s glove in order to have her ring fitted properly. Still, I’m going to rain judgement down on La Spence for not figuring this out ahead of time. I’m guessing he doesn’t have a dog-eared, tear-stained copy of Little Women in the cigar box where he keeps his leopard fur-covered handcuffs and a picture of the father he never knew. Again, there’s some confusion about which hand an engagement ring should go on and AGAIN I’d like to point out that if you don’t know, you shouldn’t be getting married. Not only is it the wrong hand, Heidi, you’re also giving him the wrong finger. Blissfully unaware of how much I disapprove of her life style, Heidi asks Spencer along to a weekend in Colorado to meet her parents. Spencer acknowledges that he and Brody were planning an epic beer-be-que, but he would “much rather” meet Heidi’s family.

The MFA candidates at MTV have entitled this one “Meet the Parents.” I liked it a lot better when they were using ridiculous pull quotes from the various heinous boyfriends of our gals.

Next week is when the big guns are coming out. Get some sleep. You’re gonna need it.

Sunday marks the premiere of The Simpsons’ 158th season, special guest voice Stephen Colbert. I tried to find a Simpsonized version of Stephen but failed. Then I tried to make a Simpsonized version of Stephen myself and failed again. Finally I settled on Stephen in legos, basically giving up, but then Kyle went and made the Stephen Colbert you see here, elf ear and all. Thanks, Kyle!

And as some shows rise from the ashes yet again, others fall into the flames. The second season finale of The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman airs Sunday at 11:30. Sunday at 11:30? What kind of nonsense programming is that?

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: I’d like someone to explain to me what the hell is going on with BBC America’s Torchwood. I watched five minutes the other day and it seemed like some sort of surrealist image-poem.