Hey guys, I’m back.

Missed you too.

First, I want to thank Jamie for filling in for me. Far be it from me to let TiFaux get too heterosexual in my absence — Jamie brought rainbows of gay to the table (for those not in the know, the rainbow is the official US Weights and Measures unit of gay — Europeans have used the “fab” since the mid-80s).

Second, just so you know, Portugal is a lovely place to visit, even when you’re an American converting your money to Euros. I just drowned my sorrows in coffee and pastries and forgot about how recklessly I was spending. It’s an easy way to cope. In any case, if you ever make it there go look at the crazy-ass palaces in Sintra (particularly the Palacio de Pena) and get some delicious arroz de mariscos.

Finally, I wanted to share some of the TV I saw while I was away. Don’t worry, I didn’t stay in the hotel the whole time trying to absorb culture through the television. But I did see some interesting stuff on the plane and in my hotels.

1. Father Ted - I flew to Portugal via Dublin (we did the whole trick of getting a cheap trans-Atlantic flight and then getting a Ryan Air flight to our final destination). We flew Aer Lingus and there were a whole bunch of TV shows to choose from, including old Simpsons and Friends episodes, but I gave the 90s series Father Ted a try for a half an episode. I know the UK sense of humor is notoriously dry, but sometimes the line blurs as to whether something is extremely dry or just not funny. I guess the Irish have their own brand of humor, so it’s not necessarily a 100% valid comparison. Regardless, Father Ted was about a priest on Ireland’s Craggy Island. Here’s a clip. Maybe it’s just dated:
2. Love Actually dubbed into Spanish - It still ends the same. Or el mismo, if you will.
3. The Mighty Boosh - I saw these guys on BBC1’s Friday Night with Jonathan Ross. They’re a comedy duo (again, I don’t know if it’s necessarily for me to understand) that perform sketches and do musical performances. Kind of like a dryer, weirder, British Flight of the Conchords. They had one sketch about an evil farting fox. Or at least I think it was a fox. Yeah, I don’t know. Here’s a YouTube clip of their hit sensation, Eels. I think you’ll agree that it’s, at the very least, compelling.

If you ever go to Portugal, know that ‘polvo’ means octopus, not chicken. I learned this the hard way.

• I Am a TV Junkie is devoting today to all things Tyra Banks-related.
• Katherine Heigl admits that the George-Izzie things was a baffling ratings ploy.
• The Go Fug Yourself gals give fashion kudos to one Kristen Bell.
• February will see a new edition of Big Brother airing seventy times per week.
• House would have a “very sarcastic” musical episode. Not that it’s going to happen, though.
• NBC’s new midseason schedule has 1 vs. 100 and The Biggest Loser. Instead of, you know, actual shows.
• Win one of Jamie Bamber’s used towels. If you’re disgusting.
• Buy a Friday Night Lights “crucifictorious” shirt.
• Jason Sudeikis has a big ole interview all week on The Apiary.
• John from Cincinnati will hit DVD in March.