Celebrity Apprentice: It’s exactly what you think

Posted by Dan January 31st, 2008 at 11:03am In Reality

There’s a school of thought that you shouldn’t really watch any sort of TV during the strike. The idea being that in order to support the writers, you can’t support the “scab” programming.

However, I kind of think that watching the reality dreck is kind of valuable to the writers’ cause — mostly because when you see the kind of crap the networks churn out, it really makes you pine for a hearty Office chuckle or a Dirty Sexy Money plot twist.

Yes, I realize that this is almost directly in contrast with what I wrote the other day. What can I say, I’m a complicated guy with complicated feelings.

Case in point: the new celebrity edition of The Apprentice.

The first episode of the season was perhaps the most painful bit of reality TV I’ve ever witnessed. And I’ve seen a lot of awful reality TV.

I’d be lying if I said it hasn’t improved somewhat since then, but it’s still not what I would call “enjoyable.” “Endurable,” maybe. But not enjoyable.

So far, the people Donald Trump hasn’t had a lot of diversity in the people he’s fired. They all come under the category of “hot babe” or “Gene Simmons.” Gene Simmons, for his part, was pretty fascinating to watch. He had all the egotism and swagger of the traditional Apprentice alpha-male, but had this weird, disconnected sense of calm. He didn’t seem to care when he got fired and, weirdly, was kind of daring Donald Trump to. So when he ended up getting fired, it was almost like he won. It’s complicated — and if you haven’t seen it, it’s really not worth getting into.

Anyways, the cast is basically what you’d think.  If you’ve seen The Celebrity Mole: Hawaii (and you really should — I own the DVDs and am not ashamed of it) you know that Stephen Baldwin is a) nuts b) endlessly amused by himself, and c) one of those pseudo-hip skateboarding-for-God types. Vincent Pastore is big, Italian and angry. Omarosa is Omarosa. The English dude from America’s Got Talent is a blowhard, but in one of those “I know I’m being filmed and that’s why I’m acting this way” kind of ways.

The one person who comes off great is Marilu Henner — who is, surprisingly, endlessly likable. Also, ultimate fighter Tito Ortiz (and to a lesser extent boxer Lennox Lewis) comes off as an adorable gentle giant.

Nothing more to say, really.  If you don’t think you like it, you won’t.  You could probably do worse, though.  Like Moment of Truth.