One of the side effects of blogging about TV is everyone’s expectation that you know everything that’s going on.

The sad thing is, generally, I do.

But I’m not positive when discussing one of my most frequently asked questions — what is the timeline for our last spurt of new TV programming of the ill-fated 2007-2008 season. So here’s my response to all those who have come to simply ask me “When do the shows come back?”

Thanks to TV Guide, here’s a handy list of when the shows you care about are coming back (because I can’t imagine you give a rat’s ass when Til Death or Womens Murder Club return).

30 Rock – April 10 – 5 episodes

Battlestar Galactica – April 4 – 10 episodes

Brothers and Sisters (some of you watch this, right?) – April 20 -5 episodes

Everybody Hates Chris – Already started, suckers! – 11 episodes

Gossip Girl – April 21 – 5 episodes

Grey’s Anatomy – April 24 – 5 episodes

House – April 28 – 4 episodes

How I Met Your Mother – Already started, suckers! – 9 episodes

Lost – April 24 – 5 episodes

The Office – April 10 – 6 episodes

Reaper – April 22 – 5 episodes

Samantha Who? – April 6 – 6 episodes

Ugly Betty – April 24 – 5 episodes

You guys, you need to see the new gay ad for Chemistry.com.[kml_flashembed movie="http://youtube.com/v/FWUZiBwR9ag" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

I find most online dating commercials depressing. Match.com is running ads with unrealistically good-looking people and those eHarmony ads make it pretty obvious that they don’t want you if you are a heretic like me.

But this ad was enough to make even an icy curmudgeon like me all ooey, gooey, baby feet and puppy ears.

I seriously just want to give Chemistry.com all my money just for being wonderful.

And for taking the piss out of eHarmony.

(Via Queerty)

I’m sure you all noticed last night’s two lovely in-joke moments, but I’ll happily point them out again because they made me smile. These are the nerd moments, and if we, as nerds, don’t talk about them, who else is going to take the time to appreciate the care and love that went into the gags?

First there was Barney typing up his blog as if he were a 16-year-old doctor with his own show in the early 90s (it’s the last scene of the episode). It seems like the writers of HIMYM may have discovered this delightful Hulu treasure trove as well.

And then, on Greek, which came out with a great episode all-round, Alan Ruck, who plays the dean, got cornered by Ashley at the Great Gatsby party. She talks awkwardly. We cut away, some other stuff happens. When we cut back to Ashley and the dean, she pulls a great Espenson (that’s what I’m calling it now — thanks, Jane!): “And so in conclusion, that’s why I think that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is the Great Gatsby of our generation.” I don’t agree with Ashley’s logic, but I like Alan Ruck’s face in response.

In conclusion, I have now fulfilled my nerd obligations, and so will you once you comment on these winking nods to the real world.

Instead of wasting your time reading about fake gmail features, enjoy these alternate show intros from the folks at Fatal Farm.

Ducktales
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The Facts of Life
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• Shocking report: Bravo attracts affluent people
• Sorry Anderson, The Mole is returning with a new host
• NY Times reviews Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union
• Photos from the set of High School Musical 3
• Yo! MTV Raps turns 20
• Kathie Lee Gifford to join the Today show
• James Van Der Beek rocks us to Canada day on Robin Sparkles episode of HIMYM. In case you missed it, the original video can be seen here
• Battlestar Galactica’s finale has been rewritten
• Children of Men to become a TV show
• Another Lost conspiracy theory, this one deals with time travel
• E! Kristin has more info on the 90210 spinoff