Alright, so Maggie appraised us of NBC’s plan to create a backdoor pilot for a spin-off to The Office. We’re all scared, I know.

Hold me?

But let’s soldier through this. We need to establish some ground rules for the people in charge of this project, to ensure that: number one — the spin-off is a success; number two — they don’t sully the original version of The Office.

First up, let me say this. I think too much of the writers of The Office that they would let this obvious corporate shenanigan impinge upon the integrity of the original show. Even though the business end of the operation says “we like The Office — let’s have two of them” and the sensible folks respond “it doesn’t work that way — you can’t just duplicate a successful creative effort,” I think the folks behind the original are sensible enough to not let this spin-off detract from the old show.

That said, here are some ground rules for these new folks:

1. None of The Office’s characters are yours. Not even Karen. If this thing is going to work, you need to create your own situation and your own dynamic. Don’t borrow liberally.
2. Set your own tone. Feel free to keep the documentary format, but don’t spread the deadpan humor too thin. If you go for the same kind of humor, you’re going to eff it up. See the subject line of this post.
3. Hire good writers. This should be the most obvious rule, right? But they seem to get it wrong all the time, hence the incredible number of awful sitcoms. Hire some idealistic, Ivy League kids and give them just enough money for food, shelter and weed and you’ve got a critical success.
4. Cancel if it’s not working. I’m just a jerkface blogger, and I really know nothing about the TV biz. I do, however, possess a marketing minor to accompany my English major, so I would advise to not slaughter your cash cow for some short term beef. You want to be able to milk this thing for the long term.

Any other ideas?

Get ready kids, tonight everyone’s favorite depressing space opera returns! It’s been a long time since we last checked in with our friends on the Battlestar Galactica. Here’s a quick catch-up:

Everything is harder to deal with than you could possibly imagine.

And yes that is Tricia Helfer playing both Jesus some other character who isn’t really in the original painting. Are there any DaVinci Code-style clues in here? Does the space between some people spell out a C, perhaps indicating who the final Cylon is?

I didn’t know a gay hustler tried to extort $250,000 from Louie Anderson! On to today’s news:

• Al Roker is in negotiations to host Family Feud
• Cracked infiltrated the Judge Joe Brown show on April Fools Day
• USA Today introduces us to the kids of Rock the Cradle. Please let Eddie Money’s daughter cover Take Me Home Tonight!!!1!!one!!
• The Wire season 5 comes to DVD in August
• 7 shows that desperately need to be released on DVD
• The 4400′s Jordan Collier is getting a pilot. Oh yeah, Molly Ringwald is getting one too.
• John McCain hearts The Hills
• The Facts of Life’s Charlotte Rae talks about turning 82 and being called Mrs. Garrett.
• ER calls it quits after being on television for, like, ever. 19 episodes left.
• More gay drama on the set of As The World Turns