Ask a Lesbian About Last Night’s Work Out: Muscle men, college girls, mullets

Posted by Dan May 6th, 2008 at 11:51am In Work Out

Previously, on Work Out:

The producers arranged for activities that would exploit the trainers for the lesbian and gay crowds respectively.

Jackie took the female trainers on a lesbian cruise so that there would be ample opportunity for girl-on-girl action as well as a hefty product placement fee for the cruise line. Rebecca seeks attention and finds it, given that the hot, hot Work Out ladies are the best thing to ever happen to that cruise. Vanessa Renessa decides to do some gay experimenting the old-fashioned way, by getting wasted and putting the moves on the worst possible person (read: Jackie). Also, Jackie confronts Erika about her suspected bulimia and everybody watching at home is mortified that this was done on camera.

Meanwhile, Peeler recruits all of the guys to take off their shirts and roll around gratuitously in the mud. It’s disgusting. Disgustingly HOT! And, in the most shameless moment of a particularly shameless episode of a ridiculously shameless series, they have thirty seconds worth of footage (some in slow motion) of the boys rinsing the mud off of themselves in an outdoor public shower facility.

And now, on to the lesbians! Well, actually lesbian. Jasmine is off this week.

Fabian from Lawrence, Kansas writes: OMG! I love you gurlz and I love Work Out! Did you see it when Peeler and J.D. and them were showering off after running in the mud? How can you not think that is the hawttest!

Sam: No, Fabian, I don’t think they are the “hawttest.” I’m attracted to women, not men, reason why I’m a lesbian. Get it?

Dolores from Indiana wonders: Hi! I’m a sophomore in college and I have been watching Work Out since the first season. Now that I’m in college, I was wondering if I should have my first lesbian experience. I like boys, for sure, but do you think all girls have the possibility of being lesbians — like Renessa and her fooling around with women?

Sam: Well, Dolores, first off, we need to determine a few things. What is your major? Do you live in a coed dorm? If you are women’s studies major living in an all girls dorm, you go to town and enjoy life. But please do realize, with messing around with women comes drama, whether you like it or not. Unless you can get really drunk and end up at a sorority party so that way you both can deny you had any idea it was happening the next morning. Just a few suggestions…

Jessica from Seattle wants to know: Jackie’s drama with Rebecca just won’t stop! Does lesbian drama ever end?

Sam: No, it doesn’t. It sucks.

Bruno from Albany asks: Why do so many lesbians have mullets? There were more than a few on that cruise…

Sam: My dear friend Bruno, I really have NO CLUE why lesbians insist on having mullets. Maybe they just feel like they need the hair cut so that other women know they are lesbians. Maybe its some form of mating call that I’ve been completely unaware of, like, “look out how long my mullet is, don’t you want to go home with me?”. But lets be honest, chances are if they have that hair cut, they are also wearing baggy jeans/cargo shorts, doc martins or Birkenstock’s, and a wallet chain…they don’t need the haircut, we can clearly see they are lesbians. Please join the cause and inform the next lesbian you see that has a mullet she doesn’t need to sport that haircut. I’ll do the same at my biweekly meetings at Home Depot.