Ask a Lesbian About Last Night’s Work Out: Sexy Agostina, text message spies, tattooed boys

Posted by Dan June 11th, 2008 at 11:55am In Work Out

Our lesbians are running a little bit late this week, so even though last night was the season premiere we still have one more installment to go after this. This week, Sam and Jasmine are ready to answer your questions. If you have any questions you’d like to ask them, next week’s your last chance. E-mail us at tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com and we’ll relay the lady-lovin’ message.

Mariah from Kansas City, Missouri sent a question in: Jackie is awful! How could she possibly think it is acceptable to read her girlfriend’s text messages so that she has ammunition against her. Are lesbians inherently sneaky?

Sam: Simple, lesbians love drama. And Jackie needs control. Therefore, she reads her girlfriends text messages. Her relationship was dull and they met the family and worked that all out so she needed something new. Seeing how they weren’t attending a womyn’s festival in the near future (by the way, Jasmine, how was that?) she needed to find something to freak out about.

Jasmine: Mariah, I knew that Jackie couldn’t keep things stable and healthy for too long. I used to not think that sneakiness and lesbians always went together, but after all the drama I endured at the womyn’s music festival I attended last week (Sam, Isle of Klezbos were phenomenal!!), I think it might be inherent.

Floyd from Missoula, Montana also wanted to pick your brains: One habit I noticed about Jackie is that she is always late. She was late to that big dinner that Jesse threw (she just strolled in with Briana) and then she thought nothing of being late to the meeting with the DVD ladies. My theory is that it is a power play — she likes people to have to wait for her so she can feel like she’s in charge. What do you think?

Sam: Yes, power play, the woman is a bitch and thinks she’s amazing but lets face it, she isn’t, we watch her because we know she is going to fall apart. Well, I watch to watch Agostina.

Jasmine: Floyd, a powerful and important woman like Jackie is very busy and cannot be expected to adhere to timetables set by, well let’s say, less important people. These people will wait for Jackie because she is that important. She knows it, they know it, and I know it.

Sebastian from Sydney, Australia put down his boomerang and Vegemite for a second to write in: G’day! Jasmine, why do you want Jackie to be in such a crazy relationship? Hasn’t she had enough of those? Crikey! And, Sam, why do you think they haven’t been featuring Agostina that much?

Sam: Sebastian I don’t know my friend. It hurts every week. I tivo all of my episodes so I can just rewind to watch my favorite moments of Agostina. She is stable and is not going to fall apart on television, she is hot and has her shit together. Unless she is out there kicking someone’s ass which is clearly God’s gift to all of us, she won’t be on television much. I mean, I could fly out there and we could have our heated love affair then she’ll be on the show more. Just a thought.

Jasmine: Sebastian, thank you for sending your question across many timezones to me. Jackie is a very important and busy woman surrounded by many beautiful women. I think if she doesn’t have some drama in her relationship, she will get bored and move on.I like Briana and hope she will learn this before she loses Jackie to another lovely lass.

Tracy from Portland, Maine finishes up our column: I love lobsters! Also, I thought that J.D. was super-cute when going on his boy date. I have a really buff gay best friend with lots of tattoos. Do you know anyone I can set him up with? Just wondering.

Sam: Glad you love lobsters Tracy. And yes, I do have the perfect gentlemen to set him up with. He’s smart, very cute, enjoys a good roll in the sack (and I would know). I think we can make that happen.