Gossip Girl: Seduce and destroy

Posted by sara October 21st, 2008 at 12:00pm In Gossip Girl

The previews last week for Monday’s Gossip Girl led me to believe that we would be getting some hot, dirty, Dangerous Liaisons action when Blair, in a fit of pique at Vanessa (and who can blame her because Vanessa suuuuuucks) offers Chuck her sweet ass as inducement for Chuck to seduce and destroy Vanessa. It’s what Chuck did with Stupid Bangs Girl and Dan, and I expected a similar payoff.

Which didn’t come because Chuck Bass is a giant pansy and went all round-ankled over Vanessa! GOD, Chuck! Sack up and seduce that obnoxious hippie.

Don't believe the hype. He just wants to cuddle.

So this week featured the return of Eric! And he has a boyfriend who is adorable. Unfortunately, Bart Bass is a mean homophobe who talked Eric out of bringing his cute boyfriend to Bart and Lily’s housewarming-which-is-really-a-PR-stunt-to-impress-folksy-real-Americans. Because Eric is the only sensible person on this show, he’s the one who eventually had to give Lily a talking-to about how she’s a crap mom.

Also a crap mom: Nate’s, who has buried her head in the sand in the Hamptons and let her only kid live in a shell of a manse on the UES like some kind of Adrian Pasdar-in-Profit with manbangs. Also, Dan is a meddling twit who totally deserved Jenny pointing out that his only man friend is his teddy bear.

By far my favorite part of the episode was when Blair and her evil minions were punishing one of their kind by screaming “LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS!” Somewhere in southern California, Go Fug Yourself headquarters erupted into a giant storm of squee. I also enjoyed when Eric asked, “Who watches TV on a TV anymore?” Heh. I do. Mostly.