My goal is to feed you so much twee cuteness that you’ll turn into a lollipop and die.

To that end, here’s Sesame Street’s take on 30 Rock — it’s called 30 Rocks and stars an all-too-literal Liz Lemon.  Enjoy.

I kind of hate how the term “webisode” has become part of my vocabulary, but sometimes that’s the way it goes.  Be that as it may, here’s a miniature episode of the office made for the Internet.

Enjoy it.

The Hollywood Reporter is saying that Pushing Daisies isn’t getting picked up for any more episodes. They haven’t said the word “cancel,” so maybe its prospects aren’t totally dead. (Denial.) I don’t know why the assholes at ABC wouldn’t try to help it at all, by moving it to a different night, or re-running the 9 episiodes it had over the summer while NOTHING ELSE WAS ON. (Anger.) Maybe there could be a home for it on cable? (Bargaining.) It would be too awful for it to be gone for good. (Depression.) But, in reality, it probably is. (Acceptance.)

“If we are indeed dead on ABC,” Fuller told THR, “we now have to convince DC Comics to let us tell the rest of the season’s story lines out in comic book form and convince Warner Bros. features to let Pushing Daisies live again as a movie.”

I think those are horrible ideas.

I’m the show’s No. 1 fan, but I don’t want to see a comic book or a movie. I watch Pushing Daisies for these reasons:

1) To see pretty sets unlike others on television, with saturated colors and weird fantasy elements like old-timey cars.

2) To hear the stars deliver smart, funny lines at lightning speed.

3) Because Lee Pace is totally hot.

None of those would translate to a comic book. The look of the show is totally original for television, but kinda boring when it comes to the comic-book universe, where people can wear capes and fly. You can write as much as you can fit a word-bubble, so it’s not as impressive to hear the characters manipulate wordy dialogue. And cartoons are never as hot as the real deal, otherwise Aladdin would’ve been People‘s “Sexiest Man Alive” in 1992.

Nobody I know watches Pushing Daisies for the mysteries, which are totally easy to figure out (the boss did it!), or to find out if Emerson is going to be reunited with his daughter. He either will or he won’t. The outcome isn’t as important as watching him get to it.

As for a movie, I’m against it in principle. The X-Files and Sex and the City post-cancellation movies this summer really killed the idea for me. They both had this desperate need to cram in characters for the fans. (Did Charlotte do ANYTHING in the movie? Why was she there?) Since they’re never really as good as the original shows, I’d rather a series I like end on a great episode as opposed to a mediocre movie.

RIP, PD!

• Gregory Peck’s grandson will appear in the TV version of 10 Things I Hate About You
• Gossip girl gay refuses to sign a contract to become a recurring character
• The Advocate asks SNL’s Seth Meyers why last week’s episode was so gay
• The University of Maryland thinks we’re unhappy
• The Star: Kath and Kim is completely sucky now
• Law & Order beat Brothers & Sisters and Boston Legal to give a shout out to Barack
• It’s the worst photoshop job ever of Dr. Phil with hair
• This day in lists: Greatest Mmoments in SNL history
• Here’s the trailer for Flight of the Conchords season 2
  [kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/xx4gj7UIQi0" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

John linked to this YouTube series a while ago, but I really can’t imagine it attracted the appropriate amount of attention it deserves.

Basically, this is an internet-based television show (actually, more like sketch comedy) called the VGL Gay Boys, featuring the “straight” (har, har) man Jefferey and his wacky sidekick Cole. While the YouTube channel is named after Jefferey, the real star of the show is Cole — who unself-consciously and flamboyantly revels in the spotlight.

Here’s the clip we linked to earlier, wherein Cole takes on the role of a bizarre-o Bernadette Peters. Like most of my favorite impressions these days, Cole’s take on Bernadette really bears no resemblance to reality. The more non sequiturs and bizarre affectations the better, I say.

Here’s my second-favorite, which includes Cole as Meryl Streep.

So Law & Order: SVU is kind of batshit crazy lately. They were four different kinds of ripped-from-the-headlines last week, and this week…oh my GOD. Let’s discuss.

Last week, Benson and Stabler took on a Gloucester, MA–style pregnancy pact, only because it’s SVU, they had to start off with a homeless man who’d been castrated and set on fire. Fantastic! Turns out he was castrated and set on fire because he knocked up a high school girl, and her older brother thought that the crispy critter raped his sister. But not so! She wanted a baby! Because her friend got pregnant and being pregnant is, like, awesome. Just ask my friend Suzy, it’s all vomiting and people thinking you’re fat and surreptitiously growing a penis inside of you.

And you thought the only flamers at NBC Universal were over on Bravo. Shame on you.

From the friends-who-tell-friends-to-get-pregnant, the detectives embarked on another of their Awesome Adventures in Hip-Hop. Which are ALWAYS BAD IDEAS. Look, I know the people behind SVU think they can get away with storylines involving rappers and that subculture because they cast Ice-T, who once upon a time was a real rapper, but, um, they cannot. In last week’s episode, this adventure in alternate job choices included casting one of the kids from Sleepers as a wannabe rapper whose mission in life is, and I quote, “Wreckin’ decks and gettin’ sex.” …Yes. That part was lame.

• Even more Saved By Zero hate
• Reality shows are hurting in the ratings
• Kathy Griffin is filming season 5 of her show right now
• The cast of The Wire is working on a Baltimore web series
• Assuming it doesn’t get cancelled, here’s the scoop on the Pushing Daisies/Wonderfalls crossover
• Project Runway 6 still delayed, will film finale in February
• New FX show about a second American Revolution started by kids in Michigan is in the works
• MTV is casting a celebrity version of Beauty and the Geek
• Because I love you: If TV shows had truthful titles
• io9 tries to figure out who the final cylon is
• This day in lists: 5 secrets revealed by the Lost season 5 poster

It’s time for free things! Hooray!

My gentleman friend Derek has given us two prizes to given us a copy of each of the two season of Heroes to give away. It’s all in an effort to drum up enthusiasm for the new web-based series co-sponsored by Sprint called Heroes: Destiny (by the way, Derek, is there any way you can get me one of those newfangled Instinct phones? For free? And the data plan to match?  And also, maybe, a burrito?).

The first episode, Let Us Pray, features a Peruvian time-bending boy (kind of like Hiro). He looks like a latin version of Dan from Gossip Girl. He uses his powers to woo latin Rachel Bilson.

The second episode is below the fold.

If you’d like to win seasons one or two of Heroes, write to tifaux -at- gmail -dot- com with the subject line “Milo’s bangs.” As usual, the winners will be announced when I get around to it.

• The Battlestar Galactica gays are…
• Seth Rogen and Showtime are working on a porno comedy
• Little Britain USA gets picked up for a second season
• Sara’s right, Lipstick Jungle isn’t cancelled
• Alec Baldwin will appear on Rosie’s variety show
• Ryan Kwanten talks about being constantly naked in True Blood
• NBC’s new comedy is called Make Friends With Black People
• The Roots to become Jimmy Fallon’s band
• Rashida Jones will join Amy Poehler’s new sitcom
• Meh is now considered a word, thanks to The Simpsons
• This day in lists: 30 funny 30 Rock quotes
• Tokyo Police Club on Desperate Housewives: