• Dexter marries his sister
• The Onion: Tim Gunn takes Wizards shopping for less hideous uniforms
• Mad Men creator not sure if there’ll be a third season
• Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen guest judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race
• Breaking Bad: A show about meth has caused suprisingly little outrage. Also more on season 2 right here
• Sookie’s grandma will be back for season 2 of True Blood
• Seth Rogan wrote and will star in an episode of The Simpsons
• TV.com to go to war with Hulu.com by offering CBS, PBS, Sony, and Endemol shows
• ABC might revive Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
• This day in lists: Jim’s best pranks from The Office

Hey everybody, this is only tangentially related to TV (because it was on TV), but I have a Golden Globes related trivia exercise/question/random observation. Also you should know I have straight-up copied this from an email I sent to my dad, who had nothing to add except that my theory “sounds unlikely.”

During the best drama/best comedy&musical clips they showed throughout the show, I had fun trying to figure out the connection between the person presenting the movie and the movie itself. Some were easy, like the Bollywood actor and actress presenting the clip from Slumdog Millionaire, or Tom Brokaw presenting Frost/Nixon, or Pierce Brosnan presenting Mamma Mia which he was in. Some required more thinking, like these:

Jake Gyllenhaal presents The Curious Case of Benjamin Button — Jake was in Zodiac, which was also directed by David Fincher

Renee Zellwegger presents The Reader — Renee was in Cold Mountain, which was an Anthony Minghella movie, and he produced The Reader

Don Cheadle presents Burn After Reading — Don is the Ocean’s 11 movies with Brad Pitt and George Clooney, who are both in Burn After Reading

Salma Hayek presents Vicky Christina Barcelona — Latina

Gerard Butler presents In Bruges — a resident of the UK

But there was one I absolutely could not figure out. Why did Sigourney Weaver present the clip from Revolutionary Road? She has no connection to Sam Mendes or Kate Winslet or Leonardo DiCaprio, as far as I can tell. I just learned today that she’s one of two other people, in addition to Kate Winslet, to win two acting awards at the same Golden Globes, but there’s no way they could’ve known that ahead of time. What could be the logic here? I would’ve understood Kevin Spacey. Or Billy Zane. But the only thing I can figure is this:

Sigourney Weaver was in Aliens which was directed by James Cameron who directed Kate and Leo in Titanic.

That can’t be it, though. Can it?

I just thought that I’d throw some Golden Globe-related thoughts at you because, after all, it did happen. Bit of a snooze, but whatever. I guess I think that every year will be the year that Christine Lahti gets an award while in the crapper. But, sadly, it’s usually a lot of agent-thanking and the occasionally sassy comment that would break decorum at the notoriously prissy Oscars.

Since I have no organized thoughts on the proceedings (aside from the ones I tweeted with Sara last night — subscribe to our bustling Twitter feed here), here are my bulleted notes.

• As long as Tina and 30 Rock win, they can give every other award to Charlie Sheen
• As I said in the Twitter feed — I was prepared to take hostages if Jeremy Piven won. Luckily, no one has to die.
• Glad to see Marisa Tomei getting nominated again — defeating those Jack Palance blunder rumors.
• Sting looks like a werewolf, 20% through transformation.
• Don Cheadle engaged in some awkward joshing of the Cohen brothers in his Burn After Reading intro. Uncomfortable, but harmless.
• Anna Paquin? Huh. Questionable, but at least interesting. I’m usually happy to see freshman series win things.
• Did Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore share a joint in the ladies room before presenting?
• I really want to see In Bruges now (and Happy Go Lucky). Colin Farrell does best when he’s playing himself — a drunken hooligan.
• I think Glenn Close got caught saying something political after that Israeli film won best foreign language film. She had a very scary expression.
• Tracy Morgan’s acceptance speech has been the greatest thing to happen to this telecast. Cate Blanchett indeed!
• Hooray for all the Slumdog Millionaire awards, especially the score one. Although, truth be told, I see like three movies a year and that was the only award-worthy one.

With Amy Poehler actually gone for good — no more opening introduction, no more Update credit — it was finally safe, even necessary, for the new SNL girls to step out. Michael Watkins logged four sketches, most notably playing straight woman to Kristen Wiig’s unhinged Kathie Lee Gifford, while Abby Elliott appeared in three and even got to say the “live from New York” bit.

Elliott’s impression of Rachel Maddow wasn’t much of one, though it probably wasn’t her fault that the sketch failed to find a satirical angle on Maddow herself. Her appearance felt more like an acknowledgement of her place in the cable-news landscape, with all of the jokes coming at the expense of Roland Burris (Kenan Thompson) and Governor Blagojevich (Jason Sudeikis, always at his best playing irrepressible and/or unrepentant jackasses).

• Grey’s Anatomy… the video game?
• Shanon Thomas from this season of Biggest Loser arrested for domestic violence
• PBS: No Ian McKellan penis for you
• Tori Spelling finally agrees to join the cast of 90210
• Make Me A Supermodel dumps supermodel host
• QVC will be hawking cheap collectibles at the inauguration
• Heroes writer pinky swears that the show will return better than ever
• 5 seasons of The Wire in 5 minutes of rap
• Damages: When do you ever recall Regis and Kelly having an attorney as a guest?
• Is MTV recycling apartments between it’s faux reality shows?
• This day in lists: 10 suggested hairstyles for Mad Men’s Jon Hamm

Here are the top five TV moments that made me stand up and say “yeah!” in 2008. (As in: “Yeah! TV is awesome!” or “Yeah! I still don’t watch Mad Men or Damages!”)

5. When I realized during the season premiere of Degrassi: The Next Generation that Season 8 would mark a return to classic theme-song territory

OK, yeah, it’s more of a pop-punk cover of the Degrassi theme than the original gospel glee club incarnation, and I have no idea what to think of these new grade eight kids who are really more like Degrassi: Is This a New Generation Yet? I’m Still Figuring Out Whether I Belong to X or Y, but after a ridiculous hiatus that featured our favorite Canadians striking poses like the cheese-tastic recent opening credits for The City, the show’s opening once again glories to the sight of all cast members, no matter how peripheral or in some cases yet-to-be-formally-introduced, mugging for the camera while engaged in school activities. Whatever it takes indeed.

4. When Olivia Munn led an impromptu chant of “USA! USA!” on Attack of the Show

This may have happened more than once. I almost always find it funny.

I'm looking for a book on terminator infestations.

Seriously, I have to hand it to the Terminators: even when they screw up, they’re willing to wait for a hundred years inside of a wall to fix it. And to kill you.

2. When Pam and Jim Got Engaged

This little scene is everything that’s wonderful about the Pam-Jim relationship: sweet, unadorned, and completely free of Friends-style soapiness:

1. When Liz Lemon terrorized her staff by promising that “you’ll all have chins!”

Little on TV delights me as much as 30 Rock (Steve Martin lamenting “I miscounted the men!” could’ve just as easily made this list), and just about nothing on TV delighted me as much as this particular moment which, even better, is virtually impossible to explain. It’s a moment from the episode “Sandwich Day,” and it’s not available on NBC’s website. Basically, Liz Lemon, brandishing an awards statuette, threatens Kenneth the page, telling him to get her another sandwich or “I’ll cut your face up so bad you’ll have a chin.” Funny enough, but when Liz stepped back, statuette still in hand, and nonsensically opened up her threat to the rest of the room, I pretty much died.

Best Dramas: Damages, True Blood, Mad Men, Terminator

Anything I could say about the first three shows has been said a million times before by every critic. They’re just good TV. As for Terminator, come on kids give it a chance! Shirley Manson as urinal-bot mom, awkward terminator humor (see Marissa’s #4), trips to Mexico for burritos… how can you go wrong?

Best International Reality Show: Project Runway Australia

I think the contestants in this version may have out polite-d the Canadian version. The show is very similar to the first season of the American version except the Tim Gunn guy looks like the old dude from the Six Flags commercials. The contestants are all loveable, and are even nice enough to pretend they’re interested in meeting Kelly Rowland. Sadly, Kristy Hinze as host is not as funny/scary as Iman but is comparable to Heidi Klum.

Best Unaired Commercial: AFSCME
My favorite Youtube discovery of ’08, audio NSFW.

Best Shows To Catch Up On Your iPod

Dead Set – Also on Dan’s list, it’s just fun filler and more like a zombie movie broken up into 5 parts than an actual TV show.

Breaking Bad – It’s the dad from Malcolm in the Middle as a high school chemistry teacher who brews meth and uses Mr. Wizard-esque science against drug dealers. Bryan Cranston looks and acts identical to my high school chem teacher, right down to the moustache. No wonder he won an Emmy for outstanding lead actor in a drama.

Summer Heights High – Comedian Chris Lilley plays an obnoxious rich girl, an overdramatic drama teacher, and a Polynesian break dancer who all attend the same high school. The series ends with a Hamlet 2 style musical denouncing drugs and sluttiness and lauding the drama teacher for his work keeping kids clean. The show also contains an unusually large amount of penis graffiti (always a win in my book).

The Funniest 7 Minutes of a Music Themed Episode: Haven’t you heard?

What can I say, I’m an idiot who loves juvenile stuff. Here’s 7 minutes of The Bird Is The Word jokes (ignore the rest of the episode since it’s crap).

• Holy Crap!: Free TV coming to cellphones!
• Watch Barack’s inauguration kickoff on HBO
• The new season of Real World is as controversial as The Love Boat
• Ask Ausiello has gossip on Pushing Daisies, True Blood, Gossip Girl, and more
• I saw 5 minutes of this and I gotta agree, 13: Fear is Real is real bad
• Aziz Ansari talks about the new Amy Poehler show and Arby’s
• Gossip Girl’s Nate is getting a cousin
• The cast for Celebrity Apprectice has been announced
• This day in lists: The 11 most radical beer commercials from the 80s
• Kathy Griffin’s talks about her NYE show with Anderson Cooper

30 Rock is new tonight!  To whet your appetite, here’s an extra from Kenneth the Page.