I have a beautiful red Billy bookcase. I’m only disappointed it doesn’t have a glorious Swedish name.

• American Idol group sing-alongs revealed to be lip-synched, devastating no one.
• Seth Rogen will host SNL on April 4.
• People who didn’t want to get bummed out by Obama and the news switched to Reaper.
• Cartoon Network has a bunch of new shows, including a new Scooby Doo!
• The AV Club interviews The Simpsons’ Matt Groening.
• Alyson Hannigan is gestating a small army.
• What’s it like to intern at SNL?
• Michael Ausiello has a baby spoiler about the Lost finale.
• Watch the season premiere of The Tudors now!

For someone who fancies himself as an early adopter, I’m astonishingly late to the game to some viral phenomenons.

For instance, there’s Drunk History which combines two of my favorite things — fun historical facts and excessive drinking. The gist of the series is that young historians are given liberal servings of alcohol and then asked to recount various historic events. Actors subsequently reenact the dramatic retellings, to knee slaps and belly laughs all around.

Take this episode, involving George and Martha Washington’s escaped slave. Trust me, it’s a lot funnier than it sounds.

It always seems like a great, economical idea until you want to vomit an hour later.

• Simon Cowell is trying to get Obama to come on American Idol. Which is a bad, but sadly plausible, idea.
• They’re unearthing Craig T. Nelson, as well as Maura Tierney and Peter Krause, for a remake of Parenthood.
• Kiefer Sutherland will begin shooting the 8th season of 24 in May.
• Remind me to ask Laurence Fishburne for some money.
• An Andy Richter interview. For those interested.
• SFC and Beyond were the runner-ups to SyFy.
• Chelsea Handler will have a show on E! through 2012. Alcoholism and vagina jokes for all!
• Someone won the RuPaul drag queen show.

While you may still be in mourning for BSG, there is still Caprica — the prequel series that is debuting in 2010. The extended pilot is coming to DVD April 21.

For what it’s worth, here are some assorted clips from the show for your perusal.

Here’s a clip of Eric Stoltz that isn’t too far off from what I look like at most gay bars — lots of people screaming and flashing lights, but I’m just looking around and wearing a nervous expression.

And some family fighting.

And some teenage interrogation.

Hey, Lily’s back! Maybe she and her baby bump skipping the gym because she’s having all that sex with Rufus belly can rescue the show from the doldrums of irrelevance it slipped into last week. Since Blair is having an affair with sleazy Carter, prompting Chuck to make all sorts of filthy plays on words, things look promising. And none too soon; God, Nate is tedious.

Robot Nate has fully poseable arms and legs.

So Nate’s grandfather is a Vanderbilt and owns half of Connecticut. (That house looks like where I went to college, seriously.) For some reason, Sir Manbangs of Balsawood takes Dan and Vanessa with him to a family reunion so they can make snide remarks about being poor. Waah. And then they played football like they saw this one time when Wedding Crashers was on TBS.

Rufus and Lily are exchanging lists of people they slept with, which I think happened on Friends 10 years ago. The one page of Lily’s list that she showed him includes (and I’m wondering if this is in order, because if so, HEE): Gossip Girl‘s location manager; the author of Chicken Soup for the Soul (ew, Lily, really?); Trent Reznor; Slash; Rufus; Bart, obviously; and no one else I could discern/recognize. The rest of the list was probably people who’ve given the show good reviews and/or went to school with Josh Schwartz. And Lily wears like forty pounds of rhinestones just to sit around the house making lists of her paramours, which I find hilarious and aspire to. And really? His list fit on an index card? He was a minorly successful ’90s rock star. No groupies, Rufus? That “I was pining for youuuuuu, Lily!” excuse does not wash for me. Liar.

As Blair tried to incinerate what was left of her reputation after the horrible, appalling sin of “hazing a teacher” (seriously, there’s a box they can tick for that?) got her barred from every reputable college on the east coast, I realized I’m really tired of hearing about all these scandalous things the children did in the past that are now coming to the light/being used as leverage to blackmail people. Like Serena and whatever happened on a yacht in Santorini with Carter (um, he returned her missing magical pants?) when she was, apparently, in the sixth grade. I don’t buy this because teenagers have really short memories. No matter how devious or prettily garbed they are, most high schoolers have a hard time remembering what happened at Homecoming, much less who did a Saskatoon Snowshoe on who else over Christmas break of freshman year. And honestly, I’d like to see some of this awesome scandal ON-SCREEN. What part of “show, don’t tell” do the Gossip Girl writers not understand? I feel like I’ve been asking for real drama for, like, a YEAR. Kill someone. Knock someone up. DO SOMETHING.

Nate and Blair sleeping together is a good start, Schwartz. Yay!

I’m ridiculously out of shape — essentially an amorphous mass that can barely peck at a keyboard to blog.

• Ron Moore answers your questions about the BSG finale.
• David Letterman got dragged to the altar by the mother of his child. I’m sure there’s a trail made by his fingernails all the way there.
• Amanda Bynes is in an ABC pilot about getting fired. Very topical, guys.
• Tonight is the first week back on Heroes for Brian Fuller after Pushing Daisies. Must explain why Claire was wearing those high-waisted pants and the constant voice-over narration.
• The people on Dancing With the Stars get $200,000 for their participation in the show!
• The advance buzz ain’t good for Parks and Recreation.
• American Idol David Cook thinks his fans are creepy.
• What’s next for the Battlestar crew?

I just wanted you to know that my true love, Mindy Kaling from The Office, is on Twitter and you should totally follow her. It’s very much like her blog, the sporadically-updated Thing I’ve Bought That I Love, with lots of enthusiasm, exclamation points and beginning things with “you guys!”

Of course, while you’re at it, you should follow us.

Anybody else we should be following?  Leave ‘em in the comments.

Love it, hate it or somewhere in between — the Battlestar finale certainly gave us a lot to chew on. By all accounts, I think the finale was generally much more upbeat than anyone could have guessed, especially for a show that earned a reputation as being unrepentantly bleak.

I’ll have my thoughts on the finale sometime this week — tomorrow if I get my act together — but for now I’ll just take an informal survey.

Still recovering from my vacation, bigger post tomorrow I promise!

• Battlestar finale sets record ratings
• VH1 bringing back Behind the Music
• Neat: Here’s a map of where sitcoms took place in NYC
• UK Big Brother contestant Jade Goody has died from cancer
• This day in lists: The 10 best clips on Middle Eastern TV
• And finally, excited Polish SYTYCD contestant falls off stage
  

Some of the show descriptions in this quiz are real pilots, some I’ve made up. Take the quiz and see if you can spot the fake pilots! (BuzzSugar)

GMMR asked if you were a network exec and could program TV for only one hour out of each day, what would the TV schedule look like? (Give Me My Remote)

You know a show is going to be good when it manages to equally upset the liberal communists (who think the show pushes a Christian agenda) and the religious nutjobs (who think the show pushes a gay agenda). Scooter endorses Kings if only because they cast Mr. Boston in the lead role. (Scooter McGavin’s 9th Green)

Vance is enjoying the shows no one is watching. Like newbies Kings and Better Off Ted or old faves Ugly Betty and Lost amongst many others. (Tapeworthy)

This week, Jace talked to Joss Whedon about his “Man on the Street” episode of FOX’s Dollhouse, why Dollhouse seems to lack the funny, and whether he would be leaving television for good. (Televisionary)

Sara celebrated the fact that Chuck was back to wearing ascots on the latest episode of Gossip Girl. (TiFaux)

Jennifer contemplated why Ugly Betty Suarez is such a man magnet. (Tube Talk)

Steve got his hands on a copy of next week’s Gossip Girl and recapped it for your spoilerly pleasure (TVFanatic)

Ben celebrated the enws that BBC3 had bought the UK rights to the new murder mystery Harper’s Island and took a look at it spin-off web series Harper’s Globe. (TV Spy)