It’s only Tuesday. Bummer. I spent a full 12% of my weekend traveling to and from, standing in line for, and watching Watchmen, so I could use another break. In the spirit of giving you (and myself) something to look forward to, let’s talk about the upcoming weekend’s entertainment.

If you’ve been paying attention while fast-forwarding through the commercial breaks of SNL, you may have noticed ads for a new NBC series starring Ian McShane, called Kings. It premieres this Sunday and I’m going to lay it on the line: I think it looks awesome.

Seriously. What the hell is going on? Ian McShane is king of America? Guy with Matt-Damon-teeth saves his son’s life? Ian McShane has built something or other? I have no idea! The only thing I know about this show is that the production films in NY and they freaked people out a while back by driving a tank through Grand Army Plaza. (Read that again: a tank in Grand Army Plaza! Don’t you want to see why that would be necessary?)

Two hour premiere Sunday. Watch it and we’ll discuss next week. I’m hoping it lives up to the great casting and production design.

Before calling up yesterday’s excellent episode of Lost, I happened to stumble on to Lie to Me, the new Fox show about the guy (Tim Roth, who I’ve always loved because of Rosenkrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead) who’s some sort of lying scientist (because that exists) who always knows when people are lying. It was clear almost immediately that this show was bad, but I watched the whole thing out of curiosity and a wish to understand exactly why it fails so hard. And it’s not just because it’s a predictable serialized drama about a Persnickety Hero-Genius who’s not as fun as Psych or as quirky as Monk or as hard-assed as House.

A typical scene will have Tim Roth or one of his minions (the cute boy, the white lady, or the black lady – no personalities yet, as far as I can tell) asking someone some questions. The person will respond in an odd way that is obvious to everyone is either suspicious or heartfelt. It is obvious because we are people who watch TV; we know how to tell if a character is lying or prevaricating or believes his nonsense because we know how to interpret dramatic scenes.

Then Tim Roth and one of his minions will go off and discuss the scene that just happened, sometimes even using video footage to remind us what happened literally seconds ago. “She’s got non-symmetrical facial response, so she must be lying,” “He’s self-correcting, which means he’s telling the truth,” etc. The reason this is so moronic is not just because it’s fake science, but because they’re doing the audience’s job — interpreting the scene that just happened and making inferences based on experience with human beings. If the audience has any intelligence at all, the “science” just tells them what they already learned from watching the actors.

At least in something like the Closer, the force of her personality and her interrogating skills make people confess. At least in House, he has specialized knowledge of medicine and tests and treatments to try out. At least on Psych or Monk, they’re noticing things outside of the suspect — the environment, the circumstances, arcane trivia — and they make leaps and connections that, although often guessed by the audience, do require a little bit of genuine insight rather than just looking at people’s faces.

So I don’t care for it. But I won’t lie: Amidst all the repeition and idiocy, Tim Roth does have a certain strange charisma.

Hey everybody, this is only tangentially related to TV (because it was on TV), but I have a Golden Globes related trivia exercise/question/random observation. Also you should know I have straight-up copied this from an email I sent to my dad, who had nothing to add except that my theory “sounds unlikely.”

During the best drama/best comedy&musical clips they showed throughout the show, I had fun trying to figure out the connection between the person presenting the movie and the movie itself. Some were easy, like the Bollywood actor and actress presenting the clip from Slumdog Millionaire, or Tom Brokaw presenting Frost/Nixon, or Pierce Brosnan presenting Mamma Mia which he was in. Some required more thinking, like these:

Jake Gyllenhaal presents The Curious Case of Benjamin Button — Jake was in Zodiac, which was also directed by David Fincher

Renee Zellwegger presents The Reader — Renee was in Cold Mountain, which was an Anthony Minghella movie, and he produced The Reader

Don Cheadle presents Burn After Reading — Don is the Ocean’s 11 movies with Brad Pitt and George Clooney, who are both in Burn After Reading

Salma Hayek presents Vicky Christina Barcelona — Latina

Gerard Butler presents In Bruges — a resident of the UK

But there was one I absolutely could not figure out. Why did Sigourney Weaver present the clip from Revolutionary Road? She has no connection to Sam Mendes or Kate Winslet or Leonardo DiCaprio, as far as I can tell. I just learned today that she’s one of two other people, in addition to Kate Winslet, to win two acting awards at the same Golden Globes, but there’s no way they could’ve known that ahead of time. What could be the logic here? I would’ve understood Kevin Spacey. Or Billy Zane. But the only thing I can figure is this:

Sigourney Weaver was in Aliens which was directed by James Cameron who directed Kate and Leo in Titanic.

That can’t be it, though. Can it?

2008 was a little rough for the tube. I’m hoping for good things in 2009 — the return of many favorites, and maybe even some new shows to get behind!

My Favorite Thing of the Year, and Also The Only Good New Thing

The writers’ strike was a depressing time for everyone: no work for writers, no TV for us. And it had long-term repercussions, including the current dearth of high-quality new programming. But the writers’ strike did bring us one amazing thing: Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog. With Neil Patrick Harris as a geeky singing evil-do-er, Nathan Fillion as a smarmy strongman, Felicia Day charming us all, and the funniest script of the year, Joss Whedon & Family have made the internet work the way it’s supposed to.

Let’s do the math: The entire musical (42 minutes, the length of your average one-hour TV show) is available online for free. I watch it repeatedly (free for me, indeterminate ad revenue for them). I buy it on iTunes to carry around on my iPhone ($5.99). I (maybe someday) buy the soundtrack on iTunes ($9.99). I get the DVD — featuring a WHOLE NEW musical commentary track, Commentary! The Musical — for Christmas ($14.99). One day I hope to buy Commentary! The Musical on iTunes, in which case they’ll get another $9.99 out of me. Basically, they hooked me with their awesome free entertainment, and subsequently I will buy whatever they want me to. Creatively and business-wise, excellent job all-around.

Also thank you for NPH’s delivery of the line “Emails!” which is how I say that word now.

Best Episode That Everyone Else Likes, Too

There’s not a lot of “event” TV any more; we’re all off in our little corners, watching TV on our laptops and twittering about facebook videos or something. So it was a rare feeling, watching Lost’s “The Constant,” and knowing in your gut that lots of other people saw it and liked it all at the same time. (You can watch it via ABC’s extremely annoying propriety video player here.) I like Lost episodes that play with the form (I admit to being a fan of the Nikki and Paolo episode), and this one played it up while finding an emotionally resonant story that built tension in the best possible way. It’s the only time this year that I was literally on the edge of my seat.

Best TV Show to Help You Deal With Your Crazy Family

The BBC America import Gavin and Stacey follows the courtship and marriage of geographically diverse Gavin and Stacey, but it’s really about their bizarre collection of relatives and friends. There’s the sincere to the point of madness Uncle Brin, the sensitive and emotional best friend Smithy, the panicked mother Pam, the dry and shock-proof best friend Nessa — this is a group of people that should not get along. They have absolutely nothing in common. And yet, for the sake of Gav and Stace, they willingly place themselves in the same room over and over again. And they end up having a pretty good time.

Diamond in the Rough Award

I’ve already talked a lot about how under-appreciated Greek is, but it’s worth saying again. This year, it was a show that I never felt hesitant about switching on — it was always going to be a treat. I don’t know if their writers aren’t in the union (it is on ABC Family, after all) or if it’s a quirk of scheduling, but they managed to put out great shows in even this year’s darkest strike-dimmed months. Yes, it is an hour-long dramedy about the running of fraternities and sororities at a fake college. But it’s also surprisingly funny and sweet. This is a show about young people that doesn’t take itself too seriously (cough-GOSSIP GIRL!-cough) and so manages to make us actually care about what happens to the characters.

Runner up: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. I don’t think we need to apologize for this show. But I’ll do it anyway: sure, it’s sometimes a little on the nose, and I wish there weren’t such a steady stream of time-travelers (otherwise why not just overwhelm us with them?), but overall it’s weird and dramatic and I like it. So there.

The Wish-for-More-Wishes Award: Five Amazing Performances

And five words to sum them up.

Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother: Scheming sleaze hides sensitive heart.

Kristin Chenowith in Pushing Daisies: Itty Bitty has big voice.

Alec Baldwin in 30 Rock: Every line delivery absolutely perfect.

Stephen Colbert in The Colbert Report: Crazy person bends truth, reality.

Jennifer Carpenter in Dexter: Duped foul-mouth best sister ever.

In the continuation of our “Salute to TRL” week, I’m pleased to share five of my favorite music videos. The thing to keep in mind while perusing this list is that I watched MTV primarily from 1993-1996, so some of these selections are going to be of the fondly-nostalgic-but-bad variety. With that caveat in mind, let’s get to it!

5. All Apologies, Nirvana Unplugged

Not technically a video, but MTV used to play it as one. This concert first aired in 1993, putting it smack at the start of my MTV years. I loved this song — what angsty 7th-grader wouldn’t? — and the low-key atmosphere of the Unplugged concert was a great introduction to music I might have been too scared to listen to otherwise. This is the beginning of years of wearing Doc Martens and flannel shirts. (And here’s Smells Like Teen Spirit for good measure.)

I’ve noticed some things this week while watching TV. Not anything that’s worthy of its own post, but perhaps all laid out together they will amount to something. There’s a funny video at the end!

• Why does Pushing Daisies keep putting Chuck in those hideous high-waisted pants? She belongs in adorable full-skirted dresses with matching scarves. No to high-waisted pants! No!
• John Corzine on the Daily Show? More like John BORE-zine. (Genius.)
• Why is House so upset about Cuddy’s adopting? Is he jealous? Lonely? Does he wish he could’ve made her pregnant himself?
• Everyone’s been saying this, but How I Met Your Mother could really slow things down a bit. I feel like Ted got engaged yesterday, and now everything’s status quo. At least Barney is taking his redemption at a reasonable pace (one step forward, two steps back).
• Has anyone besides me and Kyle been watching Gavin and Stacey on BBC America? It is delightful. Sometimes, either due to accent or UK-ishness, I don’t understand what’s going on, but that’s part of the fun. However, none of the characters seem to think ahead about anything. If you get married and move, you will not be able to live in your old house and keep your old crap, too. Stacey’s the worst at this. But whatever. It’s the Nessa and Pam and Bryn show as far as I’m concerned. Also: Move out of your parents’ house, you crazy kids.
• My love affair with Life on Mars may have ended yesterday, after only three episodes. Pull it together, Life on Mars! I liked it with the good music and the crazy clothes and the anachronisms. I don’t like the speechiness.
• At least if you’re dating Michael Scott you’ll totally know if/when he’s lying to you, and he’ll be extremely up front about his intentions/expectations. I suppose that’s a benefit to having no filter.
• Don’t read the next sentence if you don’t want to see one joke from next week’s 30 Rock. My personal favorite, mostly thanks to Alec Baldwin’s amazing delivery: “I worked the day shift at the graveyard and the graveyard shift at the Day’s Inn.”
• Still love: Greek. On the fence: Dirty Sexy Money. Probably dropping: Heroes.
• And here’s your video, via Videogum:

I know that by writing this post I’ve made this the most post-rific day on this site in ages, but I couldn’t let this go by without comment.

Aaron Sorkin writes what would happen if Obama went to Bartlet for advice.

Unfortunately, I don’t know what my comment is.

If there’s one thing I strive to do here, it’s to think way too much about everything Aaron Sorkin does. I’ve been thinking about this column all day, and I still have no idea what’s going on. I guess he makes some good points? Someone, please help me. Is this weird? Is it fine? Does it upset me only because I’m still hung up on the glorious failure of Studio 60? What would four-years-ago me have thought? Is it fan fiction if the character’s yours? Does it matter? Really, does any of it matter? Was Martin Sheen full of shit or what when he said last night that the West Wing was non-partisan?

Help.

These guys.

In brief:

Neil Patrick Harris was robbed.

Turns out Josh Groban has a sense of humor (ETA: get it while it’s still out there).

I still don’t care about Mad Men.

Tina Fey deserves it all.

I open the floor to comments. Particularly insults directed at the idiots pictured above.

Have you been watching Greek? I certainly hope so, because it’s one of the best shows around. If you haven’t, I recommend following this protocol immediately:

1. Rent or buy (only $20!*) the first season.
2. Watch it immediately.

Update your protocols, people. Then come back to me when you’ve finished.

This season has done an excellent job with a couple of very tricky things, namely:

1. Making us believe that even though Cappie is so much fun and sweet and smart, he may still be a pretty shitty boyfriend/mentor to Rebecca/Rusty, respectively.
2. Getting us to care about Rebecca, and to a lesser extent, Franny. (Though now that Franny and Evan have formed an evil league of evil they’re off the radar — I assume until they concoct a hugely evil scheme to end the season.)
3. Consistently feeling like actual college, even for those of us who didn’t have a Greek system.
4. Staying hilarious.
5. Introducing a great new love interest for Casey, the sensitive nerd Max.

That last point is huge. I didn’t think they’d be able to cast someone able to overtake the appeal of Cappie, but Max nails it. (And I just discovered he was Costas in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Apparently if you change your hair and drop your fake accent I am incapable of recognizing you — I would be a terrible spy.) He’s charmingly off-center, never saying just what he should or what you might expect, which keeps Casey off-center, too. His kookiness masked his Sad Secret for a while, allowing us to get used to him without immediately suspecting Something’s Wrong.

Max is my new TV Boyfriend. It’s refreshing to have a TV Boyfriend who isn’t a total jerk because of his pain — Max is just troubled and smart and interesting. He’s totally unlike Evan or Cappie or even Rusty, making him a strange and surprising addition to the Greek family.

Have I gushed enough? Will you watch it? I know you most likely won’t, but you’re missing out. Don’t waste your time with the boring 90210 and the cheesily written Fringe! Come to Greek, where the plots are peppy, the boys are sensitive, and there’s always lots of alcohol!

*I think that DVD is actually just the first HALF season. They seem to do little mini seasons in 12-episode batches.

The first act of Joss Whedon’s internet web musical, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, is up now. Acts 2 and 3 will be released in the next week. If you haven’t checked it out already I strongly urge you to do so. It’s just as wonderful as a musical about an aspiring mad scientist starring Neil Patrick Harris sounds like it would be, which is to say extremely awesome. Did I mention it’s a musical starring NPH about an aspiring mad scientist and the girl he’s in love with and his rival Nathan Fillion and they sing? In this dark time for TV, it’s a ray of beautiful, musical, charming sunshine.