Timothy Olyphant is joining the cast of Damages.

This is great news because I love Damages and Timothy Olyphant makes everything better, even The Girl Next Door.

Yeah, I’ve seen The Girl Next Door. That means I know all about Moral Fiber. And yes, that was a Girl Next Door inside joke. No shame, because:

Timothy Olyphant! Wheeee!

I regularly watch the Tonys. Go ahead and laugh. I know it’s silly and a giant advertisement to go see a play and the awards are very predictable, but I have affection for the usual musicals and plays.

Last Sunday’s show featured the usual singing and dancing and Sondheim and Brits. It also featured the strangest acceptance speech I’ve ever seen. I did not understand what was going on.

According to youtube, he’s quoting from “The Back Country” by Louis Jenkins. Okay then, Mark Rylance!

The only other thing I know about Mark Rylance is that he doesn’t believe Shakespeare wrote the plays attributed to Shakespeare (thanks, New Yorker). I’m with Stephen Greenblatt on that one, though.

Anyway, the Tonys! Into the Heights and South Pacific and August: Osage County won, and I really want to see Passing Strange.

All right, maybe not years. But it’s been a while.

I write now as the TV season winds to its conclusion, with one purpose only: to praise Greek. I know I’ve done it before, but this time I mean it. In these tumultuous times, there’s so little to count on, and Greek has become a beacon of dependability in a sea of disappointment.

(I may have become embittered in my absence from this space.)

So, why watch Greek, besides the fact that nothing else is on? I’ve prepared a few talking points for judgmental roommates and your own doubting consciences.

• Cappie. An episode cannot pass without Scott M. Foster, who plays the president of the Kappa Taus, completely nailing the timing on a surprisingly witty joke. His charm alone is worth an hour of your time.
• Other cast members. Spencer “daughter of Kelsey” Grammer’s line readings are not always completely confident, but she’s likable in a key role. Clark Duke has serious comedy cred because he’s friends with Michael Cera. Ashleigh’s bubbly, Calvin’s not a stereotype as the gay frat boy, Rebecca shifts from insane megabitch to vulnerable freshman in seconds, and Evan even gives the rich preppy boy some layers.
• You can reminisce about college — but there’s enough shitty/awkward stuff to make you glad you’ve gotten out of that place, too.
• Have I mentioned that Cappie is funny? The whole show doesn’t take itself too seriously, like Gossip Girl or the O.C. This is not larger-than-life absurd melodrama — it’s regular-sized people drama, with a healthy sense of humor.
• Aha! Remember when I thought I saw Dave Franco? IMDB confirms: I totally did.
• There’s nothing else on. Seriously. This is a legitimate excuse. What, you’d rather watch Living Lohan or a repeat of CSI? That’s on your head, then.

The season finale is tonight, and I’m hoping for a resolution of my most burning question: What is up with the “reformed” Frannie? Is she still evil, or is she genuinely in to Evan and apologetic to Casey? Also, will Cappie break Rebecca’s steel heart? Excitement!

After this, I will retreat to my cave to wallow in my bitterness, so this is the last thing I’ll ask of you for a long time — watch it, please!

I don’t know about you guys, but last night’s TV really brought it. Please be prepared for some spoilers ahead (though the biggest I’ll put after the jump).

I’ve decided to approach the evening chronologically. Not in the order that the episodes aired, but in the age of the characters portrayed.

High School

In the second episode of The Paper, we learned a little more about my new favorite newspaper teen: Alex. Alex went to Hebrew school with Amanda. Alex considered Amanda a friend before junior year, then he started hanging out with the Adam/Trevor/Gianna axis of evil and grew apart from Amanda. Alex had a crush on Amanda in ninth grade! We are witnessing Alex’s transformation from shy dork to life of the party. It’s great.

I don’t have the energy to mount my Amanda defense, but I think as stubbornly odd as she is, you can see that she just doesn’t know how to relate to people. I don’t think she’s a bad person and I’d like to see her succeed — but she does have trouble letting loose, as is clear from her post-its and the “fun” of the ice cream social.

College

I’ve been hoping for a Greek flashback episode for a long time now, and this one delivered. It not only gave us a glimpse of the kids way back when (2 years ago), it also did the impossible: It turned Evan into the hero! Cappie’s phenomenal charisma has always been a problem for the show: Why on earth would Casey ever break up with him? Especially for suit-wearing, soul-crushing Evan? This episode paints the picture beautifully. Cappie is the life of the party, but that’s his priority, not Casey. Evan is the quiet, conflicted best friend who doesn’t know where to belong. Cappie has never had a problem fitting in. Seeing Evan’s problems makes him infinitely more likeable. And seeing how Cappie has grown since his relationship with Casey — he really comes through for Rebecca — makes him, if possible, even more sympathetic (not that he needed it).

Mid to late 20s

How I Met Your Mother has been on fire this season. This episode was no exception. And the ending! I will discuss more after the jump.

I can’t believe I forgot to talk up The Paper, MTV’s newest reality show. It premiered last night, and unlike most MTV reality shows, this one appears to be about actual teenagers doing things teenagers actually do — in this case, rip each other to shreds and put out a school paper. It is phenomenal.

Sure, it has that crazy editing thing that MTV likes to do, where they treat us all like kitties that will get distracted and wander away if there aren’t a thousand things going on at all times. Also, MTV, I do not need to know what crappy song is playing every second of the show. Besides, you only play about ten seconds of a song before quick cutting to something else, so it’s not like I get a good sense of what the song is like. <end old lady rant>

The students they’re following — ambitious Amanda, nice guy Alex, basket case Adam, and insecure wench Gianna — are worth putting up with the editing nightmare. These kids have passions. They’re mean. They’re reasonably intelligent. They’re hard-working. They are clearly going to go nuts dealing with each other, and sooner rather than later.

In the first episode, they compete to see who will be the next editor in chief. You’ll have to watch for yourself for the full effect, but just as a teaser: The competition has some parallels to the current presidential campaign.

Gianna, right, will crush your happiness for your own good.

I like this show. Teenagers are awkward and emotional and backstabby. They also work really hard at things they enjoy. This feels true to my experience in a way that most shows — especially on MTV — do not. Watch it! And if you did, tell me what you think! First question: Did you hate Gianna and Trevor as much as I did?

Last night’s Top Chef featured a massive, incomprehensible brawl. I won’t give away any of the specifics, but suffice to say there was swearing and screaming and chair-throwing.

The haphazard and time-jumpy way it was edited naturally made me think of this. Start at 5 minutes and 30 seconds for the full effect.

Eerie, right?

And if someone could explain what the hell happened to those chefs, I’d be very grateful.

UPDATE: Here’s the clip from Top Chef (spoilers on that page) for comparison and research.

Was that Dave Franco as one of Rusty’s pledge brothers in last night’s Greek?

It definitely was this guy as Cappie’s Big Brother. Even though IMDB tries to deny it.

Right? Or am I losing my mind?

NBC has announced its schedule for the next year, and it kind of makes me want to puke.

NO: Why dilute the Office brand with a spin-off? Why not come up with a new idea instead? Oh right. That would be expensive. And take time. But the strike means there’s none of either available. Sigh.

NO: Practically no new shows at all, and definitely no definitive season openers like we’ve had in Septembers past. And the new shows that they’ve got are stale, stale, stale. A paraplegic psychic who solves crimes? A comedy import from Australia? GET OUT.

NO: Knight Rider.

NO: “SNL Thursday Night Live” — they do know that those initials mean something, and therefore the title is actually “Saturday Night Live Thursday Night Live,” right? Also: I don’t want any more political sketches than what we already have. And why Thursday? Why??

NO: Chuck has been renewed. I can’t quit it! If they air it, I will be forced to watch! And they’re following it with a spy drama starring Christian Slater. I quote from the description of his show, because its ridiculousness cannot be summarized:

Henry Spivey (Christian Slater, “Bobby”) is a middle-class efficiency expert living a humdrum life in the suburbs with a wife, two kids, a dog, and a minivan. Edward Albright is an operative who speaks 13 languages, runs a four-minute mile, and is trained to kill with his teeth. Henry and Edward are polar opposites who share only one thing in common — the same body. When the carefully constructed wall between them breaks down, Henry and Edward are thrust into unfamiliar territory where each man is dangerously out of his element. “My Own Worst Enemy” explores the duality of a man who is literally pitted against himself. And it raises the question: who can you trust when you can’t trust yourself?

What is this, written by Donald Kaufman?

MAYBE: I kind of like the idea of Merlin starring Anthony Head. Ditto for Ian McShane’s Kings.

That is the saddest slate of new shows I’ve seen in a long time. And this is not just because they’ve deprived me of my precious upfronts. I suppose I am resistant to change, even if it’s probably going to be good for me — in theory, I am all for year-round TV. In theory. But not if it’s going to be all diluted like this schedule.

I’m sure you all noticed last night’s two lovely in-joke moments, but I’ll happily point them out again because they made me smile. These are the nerd moments, and if we, as nerds, don’t talk about them, who else is going to take the time to appreciate the care and love that went into the gags?

First there was Barney typing up his blog as if he were a 16-year-old doctor with his own show in the early 90s (it’s the last scene of the episode). It seems like the writers of HIMYM may have discovered this delightful Hulu treasure trove as well.

And then, on Greek, which came out with a great episode all-round, Alan Ruck, who plays the dean, got cornered by Ashley at the Great Gatsby party. She talks awkwardly. We cut away, some other stuff happens. When we cut back to Ashley and the dean, she pulls a great Espenson (that’s what I’m calling it now — thanks, Jane!): “And so in conclusion, that’s why I think that Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is the Great Gatsby of our generation.” I don’t agree with Ashley’s logic, but I like Alan Ruck’s face in response.

In conclusion, I have now fulfilled my nerd obligations, and so will you once you comment on these winking nods to the real world.

Hey everybody, just a quick note. I wanted to non-ironically implore you to watch the second season premiere of Greek tonight on ABC Family. This show not only exceeds the (very low) expectations of the ABC Family network, it absolutely destroys them with wit and genuine good feeling.

I know I sound like an ABC Family intern right now, but I’m serious. Shows about college are hard, because college kids are a self-absorbed, lazy lot (come on, admit it), but this one manages to nail it. And I’ve never even been to an actual frat or sorority house.