I meant to put this up a few days ago, but the week got away from me. So now I’m coming down off my Avatar high (OMIGOD IT’S GREAT) and trying to fritter away two more hours before I can head to Penn Station and try to get to northern Virginia ahead of this blizzard making its miserable way to New York. Fucking winter.

Anyway, my favorite late show host, Craig Ferguson, celebrated his 1,000th show earlier this week, and to mark the occasion, he let his beloved gator puppet, Wavy Rancheros, host the entire show. And for the cold open, Wavy sang Trace Adkins’ jovial ’00s update of “Baby Got Back,” “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,” accompanied by some bootylicious ladies and one of the guys from that time the show opened with a bunch of dudes singing “In the Navy.” YES.

I giggled so hard the other night I almost ruptured something. Seriously, a network TV host let A PUPPET host his entire show. That takes stones.

So I’m hoping I’ll get home within the next few hours and embark on many days of cooking, drinking, talking about other people’s weddings, and awkward family interactions. (There will be a Friday Night Lights post in the next few days, I SWEAR.) Meantime, happy holidays, everyone. I wish you a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year filled with TV hosts who do things like let puppets host their shows, because it’s FANTASTIC.

Thank the Lord for small mercies, Friday Night Lights fans. This week’s episode was mostly lighter than last week’s, which is good, because I don’t think I could handle that kind of emotional upheaval two weeks in a row. To recap: Matt buried his father, who was killed in Iraq. Julie struggled to support Matt in the face of enormous and staggering pain and cope with facing mortality for the first time in her life. Becky hit on Tim Riggins and was rejected, which drove her into Luke’s slightly less muscular arms. And Vince went in two directions at the same time, earning player of the week honors and learning to hotwire cars. So, now for something a little bit lighter? Please, Jason Katims, don’t make me cry again.

I'm not so think as you drunk I am.

Welcome back! When last we left the East Dillon Lions and the people who love and antagonize them, Tami was in hot water with the Dillon boosters and fans, Coach still had his hands full with his fractious players and unsupportive school administrators, Tim Riggins had decided to become a personal shopper for idiotic pageant girls, and Matt Saracen’s father was killed in Iraq. This week: I bet there’ll be crying. Some of it might even come from the people inside the TV.

I guess this is not the right time to mention that I got into Brown.

So last night I was watching The Late, Late Show With Craig Ferguson, as I do in these weeks where I can work from home and therefore sleep in, and his first guest was Michael Sheen, and the interview was completely awesome. I highly recommend it. My favorite parts are where they talk about how it’s not Dick Van Dyke’s accent in Mary Poppins that was a bit weird, it’s that the rest of Britain has it wrong, and the bit about the Welsh congregating on Cardiff.

Seriously, Kate Beckinsale left this man for this guy? That’s just madness. You might also note, if you’ve been reading any Twilight-related promotional material at all, as I have, since I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly and they have turned themselves into Stephenie Meyer’s handmaidens of doom recently, that he did not repeat the extremely tired anecdote about how his daughter (with Kate Beckinsale) lost her shit when she found out he was going to be within hugging distance of Robert Sparklypants Pattinson. That is what I like about Craig’s show. It’s fun.

Last week on Friday Night Lights, Tim became an assistant coach for the East Dillon Lions, while Coach struggled to scrape together funds for his scruffy team. Matt learned that art is about being a miserable, unbathed recluse, which understandably freaked Julie out. Buddy Garrity went off the reservation re: the Panthers under the odious thumb of Revoltin’ Joe McCoy. Vince, Landry, and Luke continued to flail about on the ragtag Lions team. And now, on to episode four, Dillon: A New Hope.

We've got spirit, yes we do! And barbecue!

Last week on Friday Night Lights, Coach was mocked for forfeiting the first game of the season. Matt met his new “mentor,” the pantless metalworking artist. Tami encountered friction with the Panther boosters and the Dillon students when she turned in fancy running back Luke Cafferty for lying about the district his parents’ home is in. Landry and Vince took a leadership role in uniting the East Dillon Lions, and Tim joined the Lions as kind of an assistant coach. He also moved in with Alicia Witt and her teenage daughter, whose name we think is Becky. Now, this week!

Last week on Friday Night Lights: Coach is at East Dillon. So is Julie. Matt is delivering pizzas, and JD McCoy is a jackass. New people include Vince, who is very fast and quite surly, and bartender Alicia Witt and her National Anthem–singing daughter. The East Dillon football team got whipped so badly in their first game that Coach forfeited the second half. We cried. So: onward!

Welcome back to Dillon, Panther fans. And Lions fans! Because we’re Lions fans now. Okay, to catch up. When last we left the good folks of Dillon, Coach Taylor had lost his job as head coach of the Panthers to his conceited QB’s private coach. He is now the coach at under-funded, athletically gerrymandered East Dillon High. Tami is still the principal at the now-renamed West Dillon High. So: conflict. Matt Saracen has been accepted to art school in Chicago. Lyla has gone to Vanderbilt and Tyra has gone to UT and we will miss their pretty, pretty hair. Tim is…going to college? Kind of? And also: Clear eyes, full hearts.

All right, all right, all right.

Did you ever wonder what happens when politics and musical theater have a baby? No, not 1776. This.

I was listening to the podcast from Rachel Maddow’s Friday-night show on my walk home, as I am wont to do, and the first segment had me laughing out loud and gasping in the middle of Fifth Avenue.

The chutzpah it takes to do that amazes me. Well done, Billionaires for Wealthcare.

Can you hear it? Friends, can you? The fourth season of Friday Night Lights is coming to DirecTV at the end of the month, and I AM SO EXCITED I CAN HARDLY STAND IT. I have missed everyone so much! Coach! Mrs. Coach! Tim Riggins! Matt Saracen! Julie, now that she’s not acting like an asshole all the time! All those other people! Hell, I’ve missed Buddy Garrity.

If you’ve also missed the good people of Dillon, treat yourselves to this splendid behind-the-scenes video from the production of a promo (yeah, A PROMO, that is how hard up I am) for the fourth season.

Visually it reminds me of last year’s promos, but with, you know, more exploding. It’s just so blissful to see everyone again, especially three minutes in when Tim Riggins Taylor Kitsch (yes, I know Tim Riggins is a fictional character. I’m working on accepting that) just wanders through the frame. He’s so pretty.

If you’re watching carefully, you’ll see one of the technical fellows showing off the pre-visualization of the spot on a laptop, and I’m pretty sure the pre-viz we see is of the Tim Riggins scene. In which he looks like Prince Valiant, because that hair, it just does not translate to animation. I laughed.

Friday Night Lights returns to DirecTV Oct. 28. I will be writing about it every week here at TiFaux (and I’m saying that so you all hold me to it). Clear eyes, full hearts.