I saw one last night that said ARGH M8Y.

• The New York Times ran an article about the popularization of the word va-jay-jay.
• Coolio will continue his fall from grace with a reality show.
• The LA Times discusses Heroes’ sophomore slump.
• Jeff Zucker wants NBC to keep Jay Leno. In related news, people with scabies have announced that they want to keep having scabies.
• Animal Planet wants to help adopt pets.
• Idol Gives Back money gets to work in Africa.
• What would happen if there were a writers’ strike?
• The Office convention hits Scranton.
• An article about the lack of female Top Chef contestants.
• CSI and Without a Trace are crossing over.
• Survivor’s Sherea discusses her ouster.
• Wilson Cruz discusses the endurance of My So-Called Life.

Howl.

• There are already rumors/denials about Project Runway 4.
• American Idol is violating child labor laws.
• Life is imitating art with Dirty Sexy Money’s heiress.
• Elvira talks about her reality competition show.
• Will viewers accept female anti-heroes?
• Wednesdays on ABC are looking good.

What’s a bagel like you doing in a place like this?

• ROFL! Zac EFron numba 1!!!!!!!!111 I am 11 y.o. from Argentina! Pls txt meeeeeeee!!!!!1 (via Lady Fee)
• Some American Idol people are releasing an album together.
• TV Gal sets some TV rules.
• The Simple Life gets cancelled three seasons too late.
• A cast member of Pirate Master, Cheryl, was found dead after a suicide.
• Peace angers simpletons on that dancing show.
• If you feel like watching the pilot of The Reaper online, click here and enter 082507.
• The last episodes of The Sopranos come to DVD on Oct. 23.
• News from Comic Con: Lost will feature Libby backstory (!) next season; Kevin Smith will direct an episode of Heroes: Origins; Zachary “Sylar” Quinto will be young Spock in the next Star Trek movie (ugh).
• When Jay Leno retires (oh happy day) and Conan takes over, Jimmy Fallon is a prime choice to take over Late Night.
• Tom Snyder died of leukemia.
• Catholics are in a fight with Denis Leary and Rescue Me.
• The Colbert Report is coming to DVD.
• Will Kirby is the new trashy Dr. 90210.
• Winnie Cooper gets her smart on.

I swear, no picture has ever been taken of me where my eyes aren’t glowing like some hell-sprung demon.

• There’s no father-daughter affair in the Heroes cast.
• Someone knocked up and married Nancy Grace. Not necessarily in that order.
• Jay Leno’s chuckling sidekick Kevin Eubanks is this year’s sexiest vegetarian. Alongside Carrie Underwood.
• Top Chef guest judges don’t get paid.
• America’s Got Talent is doing well; Hell’s Kitchen isn’t.
• Zap2It’s TV Gal does the Amy Awards.
• Isaiah Washington refuses to fade into obscurity.
• A new Ask Ausiello with questions about Brothers and Sisters (I don’t know, people must watch it), House, the Veronica Mars comic books and My Boys (<–Cristin! Meh?).
• Mary-Louise Parker and Jeffrey Dean Morgan: six names, two broken hearts.
• The race against puberty is on for Everybody Hates Chris.
• Saddam Hussein mini-series, anyone?
• The story behind the Nikki Leotardo mess.
• The Germans are going to have a 24-hour Death Channel. In the states, we like to call that Discovery Health.
• Oxygen and Molly Shannon are going to find the next female sitcom star.

You can take your fancy pants bistros. All I need is CPK.

• Reality Blurred has a bunch of Idol-related stuff, that I guess I won’t summarize because you probably care or you don’t.
• The Simple Life is even more fake than you thought it was — the alleged camp that Paris and Nicole are working at is made up of actors.
• Mark Cuban vs. Donald Trump in battle of the disgustingly wealthy.
• Omar Epps discusses his fate on House.
• TV Gal talks season finales.
• Adam Sandler’s Gay Robot YouTube series might get animated. Okay — so between that Chuck and Larry movie and this, when did Adam Sandler become the nation’s foremost queer comedy authority?  And Gay Robot is awful, by the way, but you probably didn’t need me to tell you that.
• Matt Roush talks Emmy nominations — must be that time of year.
• Corporate heads are rolling at NBC.
• There’s a new reality show for aspiring TV producers. No, not On The Lot. A different one.
• That show The Loop is coming back, if you remember it.
• Visit the TV Show Pitch Generator.
• Carol Burnett is out of luck in her suit against Family Guy.
• Ty Pennington got 3 years’ probation.
• There are now Prison Break dolls. I’m guessing some TiFaux Tournament voters might be flipping out over the prospect of a plush Wentworth Miller.
• I guess I’m not the only one who thought last Thursday’s Studio 60 was marginally less awful than usual.

The front lines.

Tension is building for the two-hour season finale of Lost. This is somewhat of an obvious prediction, but it seems to me that Desmond’s future-flashing probably isn’t wrong — things just don’t happen right in a row the way he sees it. Which means that Charlie most likely will still die saving everyone, and then the helicopter thing with Claire could happen at any time in the future, not necessarily the very next minute. Interesting wrinkle! In fact, I have to go ahead and say that Desmond and his weird future/past/logic problems have been the best new addition to this season. Any other highlights you’d like to nominate?

It’s also apparently the end of American Idol for another year. Let’s enjoy the silence for the next six months.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: NBC is re-airing that SNL in the 90s show I mentioned a few weeks ago. Animal Planet has a show called Animal Cops: Houston, and the episode title is Engine Kitty. I’m nervous already. That poor kitty! Not nearly as cute: TLC’s Face Eating Tumor.

Breakfast. (Of the things we eat.)

• The speed skater won Dancing with the Stars.
• Fox is blaming sinking Idol ratings on DVR. Meanwhile, Dial Idol (which is pretty much always right) has determined tonight’s winner. And (sorry, I’ll just get rid of all this AI crap in one bullet), Sanjaya claims that his entire persona was an art project and his name is really Bill Vendall.
• An interview with Alex and Rousseau from Lost inUSA Today. Has plot info — you might want to hold off til tomorrow. I am.
• More Battlestar people are going to appear onThe Bionic Woman.
• Poor kid. Jenna Fischer thanks her well-wishers.
• The 24 finale sucked. The Heroes finale left some big questions.
• Stone Phillips is leaving Dateline. Fun fact: he has been on the show since The New Deal.
• E!’s Kristin (who, by the way, I love) has some Veronica-related tidbits, including a new Rob Thomas project.
• A new Ask Ausiello. If that’s not enough to make you click the link, I’ve got three words: Gilmore Girls movie.
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck talks to TV Guide. No comment.
• What gives with Karen/Rashida Jones on The Office?
• The NY Times likes Harold from Top Chef’s restaurant. I’m thinking about recapping Top Chef this season because, you know, summer’s coming.  We’ll see.

I need to get back there. Soon.

• Hayden Panatierre and Tim Kring did some blogging last night after the Heroes finale.
• MTV has renewed Human Giant — whatever that is.
• An article about the gargantuan Studio 60 set.
• Paula Abdul tripped over her chihuahua and broke her nose, just in time for the Idol finale. Also, by “chihuahua,” her reps really mean “giant pile of coke.”
• Kristin has spoilers (oops - link fixed).
• The Real World is old enough for a learner’s permit.
• The guy from Prison Break could get seven years for vehicular manslaughter.
• Comedy Central will roast Flavor Flav. Kind of a fish in a barrel?
• Arvid from Head of the Class speaks.
• Newsday examines the progress of Asian-Americans on TV.
• The Washington Post looks at trends for new series.
• On the flip side, an article about this year’s pilot graveyard.

Taking the day off to do nothing at all.

• Nerds converge! The creators of Heroes and Lost have a chat.
• A contestant from the second season of Hell’s Kitchen has died mysteriously.
• Donald Trump has quit The Apprentice, but is far from out of our lives.
• The AV Club opines that the demise of Veronica Mars was a good thing because now it can be a martyr — like Arrested Development. This is a hard sell.
• Salon analyzes the finale of Grey’s.
• You could probably guess this already, but Simon Cowell could buy you and sell you.
• I guess there is one person out there who is willing to stand up for the Geico caveman sitcom.
• Time thinks about The Office’s season finale.
• An article that references Herman’s Head. What? Did you need more of a reason to read it?
• Rex the pharmacist from Desperate Housewives and Megan Mullally are going to do Young Frankenstein on Broadway.
• TV Guide rates the best Simpsons guest voices.

If you want something, I know some places…

• The last episodes of Drive will be burned off while you’re watching fireworks. Or asleep, having had too many beers at the bbq.
• The Real Wedding Crashers has been cancelled. It’s not peace in Iraq, but it’s a step in the right direction for civilization.
• They chose a co-host for Tim Gunn and you’ve never heard of her. But, I don’t know, she seems fine.
• Whoever won The Bachelor is a big drunkie blabbermouth.
• Ken Leung, who played Uncle Junior’s disturbed friend on The Sopranos, talks about comparisons to the Virginia Tech shooter.
• Dancing with the Stars is kicking Heroes’ ass.
• House’s ratings matched American Idol’s.
• Who was Paul Rudd’s Veronica Mars character based on?
• Cheese, meet Sleaze. Tom Selleck to join Las Vegas.
• A new Ask Ausiello has spoilers on Veronica, Lost and Gilmore Girls.
• American Idol won’t be happy until it completely ruins music.
• Is House going too far?