They make my face swell up like no other. 

• David Denman, aka Roy from The Office, gives an interesting interview to TV Guide about his character's recent rehabilitation.
• The guy who won The Biggest Loser, Erik, lost 52.58% of his body weight, going from 407 to 193 pounds.  The second biggest weight-loser, Brian, lost 156 pounds (50.65%).
• Ted Danson's latest lead balloon, Help Me Help You, is on the road to cancellation. 
• The Sopranos is coming back in April for its final season.  It was supposed to come back in March, but it has probably been held up by combative contract negotiations, injuries and the fact that the cast can't stop getting arrested .
• The Chicago Tribune says that Battlestar Galactica fans are in store for a big shocker. They're being cryptic about it, though.
• For those of you compulsively gathering Christmas music, you can download the version of O Holy Night that the New Orleans musicians played on Studio 60 the other week.  Look for the link on the right-hand side of the page.
• Natalie Dee draws about TV.
• It's your last chance to vote for TiFaux!  Let's finish strong!  While you're at it, maybe think about giving some love to Lesbian Dad in the Best New Blog category.  Lesbians are fun!  Plus, if she doesn't win it's going to be a blog called Hang Right Politics.

It's an uphill battle, we know.  We're going up against juggernauts like Ain't It Cool News and Pop Candy.

That said, please vote for TiFaux for Best Culture Blog in the 2006 Weblog Awards!  Tell your friends, co-workers, children and childrens' children.  One vote per computer, per day!

We know we don't have much of a chance, but we at TiFaux are like pirates.  We're scrappy and ruthless in pursuit of our goals.  That, plus Maggie has a hook for a hand.

News nuggets to help you through your morning slump.

• David Letterman isn't going anywhere.  He's resigned his contract, keeping his Late Show seat warm until 2010.  While we've got four more years to enjoy Letterman's uncomfortable, sporadically funny brand of comedy, at least the end is in sight for Jay Leno (2009). 
• Reality Blurred has a tittilating spoiler for Project Runway. It's only a rumor, but they purport to know who one of the final four designers is.
• Nerds are trying as hard as they can to ruin Lost for the rest of us.
• I hope you weren't planning on watching anything tonight at 9 .  Bush is giving a speech.  Presumably a Sept. 11 memorial speech, but somehow I suspect it could turn into a "Republicans, we're not so bad, vote for us in November" speech.
• The LonelyGirl15 mystery is growing.

Know the enemy, right?

Okay, so apparently Carson from Queer Eye was a judge at the Miss Universe Pageant and the lunatic fringe at WorldNetDaily is none too pleased.  The headline touted ""NBC struts 'gay' jokes all over Miss Universe: Queer Eye' star Carson Kressley provides homosexual commentary."

And the lead reads:

With some of the world's most beautiful women on display at tonight's Miss Universe Pageant in Los Angeles, viewers of the NBC broadcast were exposed to a celebration of homosexuality with continuous "gay" jokes and innuendo. 

And the story goes on to systematically list every marginally funny crack Carson made.

Oh, and in case you weren't paying attention, Miss Puerto Rico won.  And then collapsed. 

(source)

Here are some bizarro tidbits from the world of reality tv.

• At this point, it's pretty cliche to describe an unlikable person as a "puppy kicker."  However, Survivor: Thailand winner, and if I recall correctly, total jerk and former soft-core porn actor, Brian Heidik actually shot one.  With a bow and arrow.  Like seriously.  Apparently, the 16-week-old shepherd-hound mix named Edgar had it coming.  (don't worry, it survived)
• Big Brother: Australia has gone cuckoo.  Even the prime minister is up in arms about a recent sexual assault that happened on the show.
• Someone's getting fired.  Word has it on the street that the super-secret cast of Big Brother: All-Stars was inadvertently revealed when some schmuck accidentally turned on the audio for the show's live internet feeds.  If you care, which you don't, spoilers are after the jump.  (Thanks to Jamie for the heads-up.)

News nuggets to get you through your mid-morning slump.

• Big Brother: All-Stars will be broadcast on CBS.com. Who cares? Well, I kind of do.  Don't judge me.
• The Sopranos gotta get paid, son.  The cast, who always seem to be haggling for money, has two holdouts in contract negotiations.  Both sides seem to be talking tough about a separation.
• Ricky Gervais, originator of the British "The Office," is returning to the tube.  Only in England.  And he's not so much seen as he is heard.  Apparently, he just signed a deal to narrate and write a stop-motion animation version of his fantasy book series "Flanimals."  The Flanimals' names are Puddloflaj, Munty Flumple, Clunge Ambler and Grundit.  Yeah, I don't know.
• Emily De Ravin, aka Claire from Lost, got married to some dude who was apparently in Charlie's Angels 2.
• In Real World/Fresh Meat news, rumor has it that Melinda has dumped Danny!  I totally hope she threw that corporate-sponsored ring at him.
• The third and (sigh) final season of Arrested Development will be on DVD August 29 and will feature a bunch of extras including audio commentaries, a behind-the-scenes featurette and bloopers.

Yeah.  Not a lot happening today, so I thought I'd just alert youse guys to some interesting TV headlines.

1. Futurama is coming back.  It's the Simpsons-esque animated series about madcap hijinx in space.  The series is pulling a Family Guy-style comeback, albeit on basic cable.

2. Not that you gave a rat's ass, but Big Brother is letting viewers decide which houseguests get to come back for its All-Star edition.  I shamefully admit that I have been known to watch this show (don't worry, I won't be writing about it).  I guess I'm a sucker for anything that's unscripted and features some sort of cut-throat elimination format.  Shrug.  There are twenty people you can vote for, some are relatively likeable, some are completely odious, while others are not mentally fit for competition.

3. While Big Brother is one of the trashiest veteran reality shows, Celebrity Fit Club is in a class all its own just in terms of its taunting of the (lack of) careers of its participants.  Somehow, they've managed to round up a new batch of pudgy C and D-listers for the show's fourth (can you believe it?) season.  Who do they have this time?  Tina Yothers from Family Ties, Carnie Wilson from Wilson Phillips, a rapper named Bone Crusher, R&B singer Angie Stone and Ted Lange from The Love Boat.  God, I'm depressed.

I can't say I'm surprised by reports that Katie Lee Joel, host/dead weight of Bravo's Top Chef, has been dropped for the series' second season.  After all, on the few moments of every episode in which she appeared, she seemed completely confused and wooden.

Guess she's going to have some more time to look after husband/grandpa Billy Joel. 

You ready, girls?  Bravo has announced the new crop of contestants for the third season of Project Runway.

Reality TV World has the skinny, along with links to pictures and stats for all the players.

And, in other news, rumor has it that Heidi and Seal just can't control themselves. 

UPDATE: It is true!  Looks like Heidi likes to have a bump for even-numbered seasons. 

There's no way I can write this without it sounding silly, so… here goes: I've started blogging about television for a new alumni magazine from my alma mater, called 02138 Magazine. There is no actual physical magazine yet, just this lovely website.

So far I've written about House, Survival of the Richest, and the one that's on the homepage today — The Amazing Race. (Update: I also have this post. It's a good one.) I've felt compelled to relate these posts in some way back to the old alma mater, and I've had to work within some sort of "editorial guidelines" (which I interpret to mean slightly less cursing than usual), but feel free to check them out if you have time.

And hello to new readers, directed here by the copious links I've made sure to embed in every one of my 02138 posts. Enjoy the increased cursing and non-college-related topics! It doesn't appear that 02138 is comment-enabled, so if you want to compliment me on my insightfulness and good taste, you can comment here or email me at tifaux @ gmail.com.