It’s much more satisfying to write with them…

• Mandy Patinkin will be in one scene of Criminal Minds next season (which hopefully someone here watches, because why I am I even reporting this?) to tie up the loose ends. And apparently all his other cast members think he’s a bastard.
• Another Star Trek alum will have a role on next season’s Heroes.
• Desperate Housewives has cast its gay neighbors, who are, weirdly, named after Bob Woodruff and his wife.
• Kristen Bell breaks our hearts a little more, saying that there likely won’t be a Veronica Mars movie.
• D.L. Hughley post-mortems Studio 60 for the AV Club.
• Time weighs the possibility of a Deadwood movie.
• Richard Branson and Stephen Colbert got into it.

I don’t want to rub it in… It’s just a fact.

• Kristen Bell isn’t going to go on Lost because she doesn’t want to move to Hawaii. Sorry to tease you like that.
• Joe Mantegna is getting sloppy fourths as the new star of Criminal Minds after Michael Keaton, Geena Davis and Harvey Keitel said ‘no thanks.’
• There’s going to be a Meerkat Manor movie.
• Yeesh. The gardener from Desperate Housewives is a singer now.
• The new Bachelor is supa-hot. You know… in an obvious way. He looks like a soap star.
• Tina Fey talks to TV Guide about her stint on Sesame Street!

It’s entirely necessary.

• HBO is ordering that Alan Ball vampire show with Anna Paquin.
• 30 Rock’s Jack McBrayer talks to Paper Magazine.
• Burn Notice and Saving Grace have already been renewed.
• Nathan Fillion talks about Desperate Housewives.
• Chris Lowell talks to E! about Veronica Mars and Private Practice.
• E! has a spoiler chat with stuff on Heroes and The Hills.
• The 20th edition of The Real World will go back to casting people with goals. It’ll film in Hollywood.
• Heidi and Spencer were banned from The Hills’ premiere.

If you get a chance to see Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind — do it.

• Rosie O’Donnell refused an offer to be on a celebrity version of The Apprentice.
• The dad from Little People, Big World has received his second DUI.
• Watch the first two episodes of Damages on Yahoo.
• The AV Club talks to SNL’s Andy Samberg.
• A quick chat with Katee Sackhoff.
• The Next Great American Band will begin what is destined to be its reign of terror in October.
• A recap of the My Boys premiere.
• Greek’s run has been extended.
• Here’s a spoiler chat with the E! crew.
• Blair Underwood will be on the new show Dirty Sexy Money.
• Charisma Carpenter will be on Greek.
• Wisteria Lane is getting gayer.
• A new Ask Ausiello’s up.

My favorite is the long dash, but you know that already.

• Mindy Kaling talks to the Boston Herald.
• The Nine will be resurrected in August.
• Conan O’Brien talks to Vanity Fair about his work on The Simpsons.
• E-Kristin has Heroes video interviews. The important news? Milo got a neat, close-cropped haircut.  So boyish!
• People are pissing on Mr. Rogers’ memory.
• Oh Kevin Sorbo…
• The powers that be are way mad about the Emmy nominations leak.
• Carrot Top and Snoop Dogg are going to roast Flavor Flav. Oy.
• Desperate Housewives is the next series to do a musical episode.

The home team always gets slaughtered. It’s a tradition.

• Watch Anderson Cooper permanently stain his career as host of The Mole all this week on FOX Reality.
• Something strange is afoot with one of the selected households for Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.
• Scott Patterson from Gilmore Girls already has a new show on The CW.
• Time to throw out all that “Padma and Salman” stationary. The couple’s calling it quits.
• Nathan Fillion and Dana Delaney might be on Desperate Housewives.
• TV Gal suggests new roles for old actors.
• Bloc Party’s on Carson Daly tonight, Elvis Costello’s on Letterman on Friday and Placebo will be on Henry Rollins on Friday.  More music on TV here.
• According to E!, shows that will not get Emmy nominations in their respective show categories include Battlestar, Big Love, Everybody Hates Chris, How I Met Your Mother, Rescue Me and Veronica Mars.
• E-Kristin has a spoiler chat involving Heroes, Grey’s, etc.
• MTV movies might air on the network first.

Unless the golf involves miniature windmills and alcohol, I want no part of it.

• Zachary Quinto (Sylar) will be on Heroes as a series regular next year. Swoon.
• Details are emerging about the new My So-Called Life DVDs.
• E-Kristin has a video segment of all sorts of Battlestar nerdery.
• Ted Allen talks about his new Top Chef gig.
• Boston Legal is kicking everyone off the show and replacing them with John Larroquette.
• Bradley Whitford almost became one of those suit-wearers on Law and Order.
• Which Arby’s franchises have past Last Comic Standing winners been working at?  Find out here.
• Grey’s Anatomy and Desperate Housewives have powerful casts.
• Rob Thomas will helm Miss/Guided.
• And, finally, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog goes to the Tonys.

Quilt + The View + orange juice + blogging = the road to recovery.

• Bob Barker’s done.
• Jericho will be back for seven episodes.
• Has the Hells Kitchen winner been leaked?
• The usual people are complaining about diversity problems on TV.
• Shrinks are up in arms about The Sopranos’ latest episode.
• Television Without Pity forecasts Gilmore Girls fates.
• No one knows if Edie’s alive or dead on the Desperate Housewives set.
• Thundercats will be a live-action movie.
• A Jimmy Kimmel game show called Set for Life is being taken off ice.

Taking the day off to do nothing at all.

• Nerds converge! The creators of Heroes and Lost have a chat.
• A contestant from the second season of Hell’s Kitchen has died mysteriously.
• Donald Trump has quit The Apprentice, but is far from out of our lives.
• The AV Club opines that the demise of Veronica Mars was a good thing because now it can be a martyr — like Arrested Development. This is a hard sell.
• Salon analyzes the finale of Grey’s.
• You could probably guess this already, but Simon Cowell could buy you and sell you.
• I guess there is one person out there who is willing to stand up for the Geico caveman sitcom.
• Time thinks about The Office’s season finale.
• An article that references Herman’s Head. What? Did you need more of a reason to read it?
• Rex the pharmacist from Desperate Housewives and Megan Mullally are going to do Young Frankenstein on Broadway.
• TV Guide rates the best Simpsons guest voices.

The frogs I acquired in junior high unexpectedly lived until I was well into college.

• If you’re thinking about getting Showtime, click here first and get a $25 iTunes gift card.
• If you have Direct TV, this is a Starz free preview weekend. I’ve already set the TiFaux for all sorts of crappy movies. Silent Hill (why not?). The Brothers Grimm (of course!).
• Rock Star Supernova is changing their name again. I would suggest Dokken, but that’s already taken.
• E!’s Kristin has spoilers for The Office, Grey’s and Veronica Mars.
• Joey Lawrence will be a serial killer on CSI: NY.
• Marc Cherry will end Desperate Housewives after seven seasons.
• Here are some details on the ‘Addison’s leaving’ episode of Grey’s.
• Attention sick children home from school — Regis will be back on April 26.
• Vince Curatola, Johnny Sack from The Sopranos, talks about his character’s death on Sunday’s episode.
• Grey’s was the talk of the town at the GLAAD Awards.
• Will Rudy Giuliani’s cross-dressing on SNL damage his presidential prospects?
• High School Musical is poisoning our youth.
• This is a good article about Lost that sheds some light on the behind-the-scenes discussion of Nikki and Paolo. Basically, they were killed because people resented them. I have hope, though, that if they can resolve that problem so well, they can wrap up the series in a satisfactory way.