That was by far the funniest line I heard during last night’s World Series game. Apparently, Taco Bell is giving out a free taco to everyone in the United States once someone steals a base in the World Series. Last night, the Rockies pitcher threw to first and it was called as a balk, one of the more fun rules of baseball (along with the ground-rule double), so the runner was given the base. Hence, “Does America still get a taco?” Apparently, the answer is no. But maybe tonight! The tension is palpable!
If you prefer your comedy from scripted television, The Office is finally back to half-hour episodes, Carrie Fisher guest stars on 30 Rock (Princess Leia AAAH), and Ugly Betty continues to camp its way into our hearts.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: So this is where I’ve decided to air my opinion on Viva Laughlin, that deservedly canceled pile of crap. I thought I was going to be getting a musical television show. That, my friends, was no musical television. I agree wholeheartedly with Sara on this one — lip sync or sing full out, don’t just mumble as a song is playing in the background. Also, write a show that doesn’t suck. I did not stick to my word and only watched five minutes before giving up in anger. Thank god Pushing Daisies regularly includes some awesome Kristin Chenowith singing action, or I’d lose hope in singing on TV entirely.
The only thing I’m interested in tonight is Reaper, which, by the way, is kicking Chuck’s butt in the Chuck vs. Reaper cagematch. Not that you’d have to do too much to beat Chuck, a study in wasted potential. To be honest, neither is reaching the levels of Dan’s top three new favorites.
I guess there’s also baseball. Get it together, Sox!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: A reliable source (hi, Mikey’s friend!) says we shouldn’t miss Tina Tequila’s show on MTV. It sounds like the television equivalent of nailing your own feet to the floor and trying to run, but if that’s your type of thing…
Sports fans, that was some kind of horrible Red Sox game Saturday. I watched the middle (which was great), went to sleep, woke up with horrible shoulder pain and watched most of the end (which was dreadful, as was the shoulder pain — I kept thinking I had deep vein thrombosis because of goddamn Gregory House; thankfully, I am recovered). Hopefully they’ll bounce back tonight.
Though I don’t hate Chuck as much as my dad, and last week’s episode was almost pretty good, I am close to running out of patience with its too-frequent slackness. For this week, it keeps its season pass.
How I Met Your Mother has been on a hot streak lately. The tricycle episode was phenomenal, except for Robin’s stupid sub-plot.
Totally forgot to add Aliens in America to the list last week. Oopsie!
Speaking of sitcoms, there’s a new one tonight: Samantha Who? starring Christina Applegate as an amnesiac who finds out she was a terrible person, at 9:30 on ABC. I’ve heard good things about it, despite the fact that it’s a sitcom on ABC. I’ll be checking it out for sure.
Heroes seems to be spinning its wheels a bit: keeping Hiro in Japan and Peter in Ireland and Sylar in the middle of nowhere and the Creepy Twins south of the border, shuttling characters back and forth without a discernible purpose (Mohinder, Parkman, the Haitian, Nikki, Micah). I feel like we need an OH WOW moment pretty soon. Maybe when Kristen Bell finally appears?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming:The Salt-n-Pepa Show debuts on VH1, for those looking to kill their nostalgia for the early nineties.
Since I’ve gone ahead and accepted that Ugly Betty is a part of my viewing regimen, I’d like to point out that it hit some great notes last week: the fabulous rooftop full of cast-off mannequins, the hint that Justin’s about to embrace his inner tough guy, Alexis enthralled with her own boobs, and more. So there.
30 Rock’s season premiere ruled. I don’t think there’s any more I can say about that.
And there’s yet another hour-long Office to look forward to. Kelly’s pregnancy ruse — and her complete lack of shame about it — was one of the funniest side plots of recent memory.
I haven’t managed to kick my Grey’s Anatomy habit. I am ashamed. The worst part is, I usually have to do something else while I watch it, so I end up baking a lot of cupcakes. Which is making me fat. It’s official: Grey’s Anatomy is trying to kill us.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: There’s a MLB playoff game on TBS. Did you know that TBS has an HD channel now? I presume it was put in place specifically for baseball. Baseball looks beautiful in HD, by the way. But TBS HD (like TNT HD) stretches out all the other shows. It’s annoying.
I can’t say anything that Maggie hasn’t already said about High School Musical 2: Havana Nights. But I can cop to the fact that I spent the first hour of my workweek scouring YouTube to get my HSM fix, and came up with the “official video” for breakout hit “I Don’t Dance,” which incorporates nearly every player I’ve ever had on any fantasy baseball team of mine. Plus Bronson Arroyo. Plenty of Jose Reyes high fives, plus David Wright exactly as I like to think of him: Sliding into home.
I think reality shows that demand two nights worth of your time per week are mean. I can’t even commit to a deodorant, let alone four hours a week of American Idol. This is why I didn’t know who Jordin Sparks was until Glamour told me she was more recognizable than Laura Bush. (Actually, I can’t remember the Legitimately Famous Person they used as a comparison, but it was Laura Bush-esque. This is Glamour’s fault for not having a search function on their website).
BUT I make an exception for So You Think You Can Dance. They follow the semi-standard Performance Show/ Results Show format, which makes it the ultimate promo for DVR as you can condense the results show (which is generally padded with dramatic music, solo dances no one cares about, and performances from the likes of Nick Lachey) down to about 7 minutes. Which makes you feel productive (because you can spend the remaining 53 minutes in the hour washing dishes or curing cancer) and lazy (because you’re watching reality tv) at the same time!
It’s hard to talk about how good this show is in words because it’s such a visual experience. It’s also hard for me to put into words how much I love the host, Cat Deeley, who is British and adorable and incredibly tall and who I’d like to keep in a box on my desk at work and have her chirp “Well done, you lot!” every time I do anything. Also, she is a perfect mix of Anne Hathaway (holla Becoming Jane! Cannot WAIT) and Jessica St Claire from Best Week Ever.
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See? SEE? You love her too, right??
My other other favorite part is that they rotate choreographers and (apparently) instruct them to use contemporary music whenever possible, which means you’ll quickly start associating Avril’s “Girlfriend” and Lifehouse’s “That terrible song that no one can ever get out of their head” with jiving and waltzing respectively (which is good, since my preexisting associations with those two were “retarded canadian” and “what’s the best angle at which to cut my wrists so that the blood flows quickly”). Unfortunately, this also means that Wade Robson has a platform through which he can force ten dancers to each perform the same solo to “Waiting on the World To Change” that ends with them peace-signing the audience. (How much do I love wikipedia, by the way? A ton. Fun facts about Wade: Born in ‘82 (younger than me! fun!); called to testify in the first michael jackson trial about sleepovers he had in the pop star’s bed with Macaulay Culkin; is nominated for a Emmy for his choreography on the show).
I’m rambling. Let’s allow the dancing to speak for itself, shall we?
1. Lacey and Kameron broadway it up to All That Jazz. (Clip includes pre-dance info, actual dancing begins at 2:44):
Lacey is my current favorite on the show, as she is (a) adorable (b) not one of the douches who said they wanted to be an astronaut when asked on the show about their future ambitions outside of dance and (c) sister to last year’s champion Benji Schwimmer. I love a good family dynasty (ask me sometime when you have 3 or so hours free about my brothers and our speeches at our respective high school graduations. Okay, yes, I was only allowed near the podium to introduce the person who was elected to speak on behalf of my class whereas my brothers were said elected person, but still. Threepeat!). Her partner for the first half of the show, Kameron, full on rode Lacey’s coattails for the first half of the season and was dropped as soon as he had to dance with someone else. You’ll notice Kameron doing his signature backflip in the opening, which every choreographer he worked with included in his routine.
2. Lauren and Pasha rock a hip hop routine:
Here’s why this is awesome: Pasha is a ballroom dancer and not supposed to be good at this. They are wearing glow in the dark Tshirts with the human skeleton on them. The opening is Transformers themed. It was choreographed by the dude who choreographed You Got Served.
The high-pitched squealing you’re hearing across the country is due to the return of Grey’s Anatomy. Everyone’s still all upset about Izzy and George (Gizzy? Zorge? No?), so that’s going to be “fun.” Or “world-weary sigh-inducing.” One day, I will find the strength to leave this show. Who knows. It might be today.
Ugly Betty is also new tonight. This is a show that I don’t miss when it’s gone, and I’m never that excited about when it returns. But I always end up watching and enjoying myself, though I couldn’t tell you why, once it’s over. It can’t just be the combined sassiness of Marc, Amanda, and Justin, can it?
The Office is a repeat, but 30 Rock — in its fabulous 9:00 slot — is brand new, and features Jack’s new love interest, Phoebe, she of the “avian bone syndrome.” “You probably don’t remember me…”
We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming: I’m tempted to tell you to watch ESPN’s NFL draft special, but I can’t stop laughing long enough to try to make that sound convincing. How about ESPN2’s Contender Challenge, which I gather is some sort of boxing match? Eh? Or ESPNClassic’s Holyfield/Foreman match? (Do you call it a match, in boxing? I wouldn’t know.)
I don’t watch The Bachelor. I have a problem with dating shows not featuring flava flav. But I come from a Navy family (beat army!) which makes it hard to resist programming that chronicles this man’s search for love:
Luckily, ESPN.com got my favorite sports writer’s wife to review the episodes so I don’t actually have to watch them. And she treats us to funny glimpses of the Simmons household. What’s not to like?
Since it’s been spreading faster than pinkeye in a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit, you’ve probably come across this already, but — in the off-chance that you haven’t — you really need to check out this clip of Alanis Morrissette covering the Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps.”
So, I really have no idea what to make of this.
You knew she had a sense of humor all along. First of all, she’s Canadian. It’s required. Second of all, she’s been in all those Kevin Smith movies, playing God and whatnot. And finally, if nothing else, something must’ve rubbed of after You Can’t Do That On Television.
But isn’t it jarring to see her in the booty pants? To hear her say the word “icies”?
Regardless, this video makes me like her a lot. I never actually disliked her — you better believe I was rockin’ out to You Oughtta Know in the car with my driver’s permit.
